PumpkinHead (by pembie) - comments

[pembie]

Question

I was wondering if the punctuation or any of editing to the chapters was bothering anyone I have been told that's not that good

[Kellicopter]

40 minutes ago, pembie said:

Question

I was wondering if the punctuation or any of editing to the chapters was bothering anyone I have been told that's not that good

Honestly it did at the start (not bothering as such, but I was fully aware of), but I've got over it  

[JosieTash]

2 hours ago, pembie said:

Question

I was wondering if the punctuation or any of editing to the chapters was bothering anyone I have been told that's not that good

I agree with Kellicopter. Its like, cos you've always written your fics the was you have, we know what we're getting in for/can adjust to compensate ...like when a sentence doesn't actually include a word that it should but your mind puts it in there cos it knows it should be there.

[pembie]

It takes me hours to edit so I do try. I don't know why its not right. Never been good at it

It does annoy me after all the time I take. Getting spellings right and all that fun stuff  Feels like I have wasted my time.

I don't always know where to put those silly commas..

[JosieTash]

2 minutes ago, pembie said:

It takes me hours to edit so I do try. I don't know why its not right. Never been good at it

It does annoy me after all the time I take. Getting spellings right and all that fun stuff  Feels like I have wasted my time.

I don't always know where to put those silly commas..

I sooooo know what you mean. Grammar is never fun ....and yeah, where to put commas, or how to structure a sentence so it makes the most sense ..... soooo much "fun" ... Like, I know it took me quite a while to put the below just the way I wanted it .......

 

Oh, and after all the “fun” that’s been going on in Canberra of late, I had to LOVE it when, after Richie Stanaway added to the list of Kiwi winners of V8 races this year [think Fabian Coulthard, Shane Van Gizbergen and Scotty McLachlan], someone online made the comment …..

 

Surely it's time we checked the Constitution or at least reviewed the citizenship rules for participants in Australian Championships.

[Ludub]

I absolutely love how you continue to break the fourth wall in this story. It's very clever and really makes me laugh! I particularly liked this one! 'Now where were we... Irene, yes, Irene..." hahahahahaha!  Brilliant! I have to join you in wondering where on earth you get these ideas from! Totally bonkers!

22 minutes ago, pembie said:

Irene up until this point within her witchy existence, within the realms of this story just like a certain other very important and essential being to this story me the creator, My gum his got himself quite the challenging plot here hasn’t he? I wonder where he gets these ideas because I don’t know thank goodness I’m ooh wait a minute I’m the creator aren’t I? Soooooo…..errrr writers block anyone?.....Hmmm no Honestly you may just laugh but I do know where this story is going really, well at least I did when I started writing it but you know how it is. You enjoy a few ginger nuts and then you just throw caution to the wind and then you tend to waffle on like this… now where were we oh yes Brody in his underpants no wait… Irene, yes Irene.

Awwwwww!  It all seems to have worked out for Brody in the end. He got to burn an entire coven of witches (except for the key players?) and make out with Ash. What more could he want?! Winner winner, chicken dinner! Eh?! lol! 

I loved this too! You can't blame Alf for wanting to cut to the chase! Irene has kept him hanging around a very long time this evening! 

29 minutes ago, pembie said:

now lets cut through the galahs am I going to get my flaming leg over tonight or what?

And I loved Alf agreeing to babysit the dragons on the condition that he gets to have a menage a trois!  Or rather, a foursome! That's some mental imagery I could do without. This story is just the gift that keeps on giving... even without mentions of 'ripe bananas' (ewww!)

And as for my lovely lovely Chris, please make that chocolate that he's falling into... Like Augustus Gloop in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. 

And finally, this is just a fantastic line! So simple and yet so very very funny! 

34 minutes ago, pembie said:

Billie finishes rocking Luc in her arms all is peaceful and calm. Oh who is Billie trying to kid?

LOVE this story!

[Guest]

This is just too good for words I love how you want the readers to figure out what happens next!

Irene kidnapping Luc

Update again soon

[Inactive User]

Great chapter

Loved the part when Irene kidnapped Luc.  

Update soon please xx

[Red Ranger 1]

Oh good grief.So the witches' great weakness is gingerbread men?Useful to know...

[Kellicopter]

Hahaha Brody's erect snake....You definitely needed the 4th wall break after that because my mind was certainly in the gutter 

Totally agree with Ludub about you breaking the 4th wall, I think it truly makes it.  I did find this chapter extremely long though, my eyes started zoning in on my laptop and I felt really far away from my legs - Yep you're having some kind of affect on me too!