Claire Posted May 17, 2005 Report Posted May 17, 2005 <is irritated by the emoticon limit> Lol! I like how you add bits of comedy into this. It's really good, don't worry about not updating.. I always forget too! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I always find it difficult to write anything vaguely comical, so that means a lot - thanks! Cheer's my dear's,duck there's flying mint's. lol I didn't I was sat here with me sleeping bag and flask waiting for the daily up date to arrive. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The only thing I didn't like is please get rid of Max. I mean, I know he's all grown up now, but I always loathed his character, there never was a kid so unlike a kid. Apart from that, enjoyed reading! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Heh, I recall you mentioning that when I was writing ATAP! Never been the greatest fan of him myself... but he makes for useful background noise in fics Thanks for reviewing! *** 11. They had wound up at some pub in the middle of town, seven of them squashed around a table in the corner, overdressed for the location. They had been swiftly thrown out of the restaurant after the scene that Max had caused, and things between them were tensely silent, no one daring to upset Rhys, whose face was already like thunder. Tamara had made a quick exit with the kids whilst the rest of them tried in vain to find another place to eat, wanting to make the best of the evening. Unsurprisingly they had been unable to find another restaurant at short notice, and after a trek through the streets of the city they had decided to go with the next pub they saw. ?I?ll get some drinks in? Sean attempted to diffuse the tension with a smile as he slid out of his seat and tentatively took their orders ?I?ll give you a hand? Max took the chance to get out of Rhys? way whilst there was still time, and looks still failed to kill. ?Lighten up Dad? this family was never about fancy restaurants anyway? at least we could all make it? Rhys grunted in response to Dani, knowing that she had made the effort to fly over there for his fiftieth. ?She?s right you know? you?re just too stubborn? Shelley?s intervention earned her another dissatisfied grunt from her husband, for whom letting things go wasn?t a strong point. Sean and Max returned just a few minutes later, bearing a couple of trays of drinks, Sean glancing anxiously around the gathering, his own attitude seemingly in decline. ?Kirst, can I have a word?? Kirsty looked up at Sean with a nod, but they were interrupted by Rhys before Kirsty could even rise from her seat. ?What the hell is he doing here?? Kirsty followed Rhys? line of vision over to the bar, and it was all she could do to stop her jaw dropping as her eyes met with Kane. Of all the pubs that they could have chosen, they had to wind up in Kane?s workplace. The man in question glanced only briefly over towards them, clocked the fact that he was under observation from the entire family, and attempted to concentrate on what the customer in front of him was asking for. ?He?s working by the look of things? just ignore him, mate? Sean sat down as Rhys grunted once more in irritation, glancing sideways to monitor Dani?s reaction. She was nervy, there was no doubt about that, but time seemed to have done some good, as she voiced her agreement with Sean that they simply pretend he wasn?t there and get on with enjoying what was left of their evening. ?I knew he?d end up in some dead end job? blokes like him aren?t going to get anywhere? He was only glad that none of his daughters had been stupid enough to see a real future with him. He could only guess that the numbness on Kirsty?s face was an indication of relief at having escaped from his clutches all that time ago. ?Rhys!? Shelley scowled at her husband. If there was one thing they didn?t need, it was Rhys winding things up and refusing to let it drop. Kirsty bit her lip, wishing that she could tell her father that Kane could be a respected sailor if he wanted to be. He had spent time and effort in getting qualified and was by no means that lowlife that her father seemed to imagine him to be. Rhys cleared his throat, calming himself down somewhat before turning to Sean, with the tone of polite conversation. ?You know who he is then?? Sean glanced momentarily at Kirsty, aware that her family weren?t to know of their earlier meeting. ?Um.. yeah, vaguely? Summer Bay?s a small town? ?I suppose bad news travels fast? Rhys frowned back towards the bar, having already made the decision to move his family to a different location once they?ve finished their drinks. *** As the tension eventually started to die down, and Shelley had succeeded in lifting Rhys? mood with the reminder that Dani had come all the way from America to be with them, Kirsty managed to succeed in excusing herself to the toilet. She managed to politely reject the offer of an escort on the grounds that Kane was hardly going to try anything whilst he was working in the middle of a busy pub. As she left, she could hear Sean explain to the gathering that she hadn?t been very well those last weeks, and was glad that she had an excuse. She hadn?t been able to concentrate after discovering that she and Kane were once more under the same roof once more, and the knowledge that she was close to him again filled her with as much excitement as it did dread. As she walked through a door into the dingy corridor beyond, wondering just how much of a trek it would be simply to get to the toilet in that place, her breath caught in her throat as she came face to face with him. ?Kane?? It wasn?t exactly a surprise for her to have bumped into him like that in such a small building, and something in her had been hoping that she would come across him. ?Hey? He smiled awkwardly, unintentionally blocking her path down the corridor to the next sign marked ?toilets? ?Small world, huh?? ?Small<I> city</I>? She corrected him mockingly, knowing it was coincidence enough that they found themselves thrown together again. ?You and your family have raised a few eyebrows in here tonight? She looked at him, momentarily puzzled by the remark ?You?re all slightly overdressed? She laughed lightly as he explained. ?Oh? yeah, Max?s kids managed to get us thrown out of the restaurant we?d booked. We couldn?t get anywhere else? which is how we wound up here?? She laughed at the recollection, and the look of sheer embarrassment that had clouded her father?s face when the disgruntled restaurant manager had politely requested that they leave the premises, suggesting that next time they leave the kids at home. ?Dad?s going completely spare? he didn?t expect to spend his fiftieth in a place like this?? She drifted off towards the end of the sentence as she remembered that this dingy pub was his place of work now. Kane didn?t seem to notice a thing though. ?Don?t make it sound so unusual? He could well remember Rhys? outburst when he discover their illicit romance, and the genuine fear that had swept over him when Rhys had caught up with them at the wharf. Kirsty had warned him before about the way Rhys got sometimes, and he had had first hand experience at being on the receiving end of his temper. She glanced down, finding herself softening towards him again, allowing the subconscious barrier that she had built around herself to fall. ?I didn?t think I?d see you again, after?? She trailed off, allowing him to answer simply ?Fate?? Kirsty looked at him with a glare that was meant to be scornful. It would have been if she hadn?t started to believe it herself. There was certainly something that kept throwing them together, and she was losing both the strength and willingness to fight it. This time she didn?t resist when he pulled her closer, his lips meeting hers. She didn?t mind one bit as he pulled her in closer, deepening the kiss and pulling her gently back into a door marked ?Staff only?.
Claire Posted May 18, 2005 Report Posted May 18, 2005 12. It was only as they finally drew apart, breathless, that it really started to sink in. However much she wanted to simply wrap herself up in his arms for the rest of eternity, she had a husband waiting for her in the other room, and two children awaiting her homecoming. She could tell that she even had Dani seething with jealousy over her happy family life with Sean. And she was about to tear the blissful existence apart for the sake of one man. ?I love you? She nodded, hugging him close, her hand wandering through his hair as she at last took the chance to glance around the small room, furnished only with a few grotty armchairs and a table, a pack of cards abandoned next to the ashtray. A small television was mounted onto the wall in one corner. She looked back at him dreamily. ?Love you too? He shook his head in disbelief at having heard those words again, and couldn?t quite believe it wasn?t a dream. There he was, wrapped up in her arms once more, all of his worries instantly demolished. He?d keep working in that grotty pub as long as he had to if it meant being with her, and when the day came that their liaisons were exposed, he could see them moving to the coast together, he becoming a proud sea captain and she a teacher. She bit her lip, nervousness having hit her the second the words had left her mouth. She had finally admitted it, and true though it was, she struggled to see where exactly they were heading with the relationship. ?What are we gonna do?? She pressed her forehead to his with a sigh, wishing she could simply ignore everyone else, if just for a few hours. There was nothing she wanted more than to spend some time alone with him again ?Tell them you aren?t feeling well? my flat?s just down the road? She looked into his eyes, tempted for a moment, but ended up shaking her head, the gathering in the next room overshadowing their meeting. ?No? this is my Dad?s day? I don?t want to let them down? He nodded in understanding, having anticipated the answer before it left her mouth. ?I?ll give you my number? let me know when you?re free?? He glanced around the room, picking a pad of paper from the bookshelf and tearing out a free page. Taking a pen from the table, he scribbled down his number. They had so many years to catch up on, and he was determined not to waste a minute of the time that they had together. ?I?ll text you when I get home? let you know my number? She had only got the phone for her birthday as a gift from Sean, and the number had not yet imprinted itself on her mind. She kissed him as he handed her the folded piece of paper, her free hand caressing the side of his face as she realised just how young she felt when she was with him. She was completely wrapped up in him and in their passion, and nothing could come close to the feelings she was feeling for him. ?I should probably get back? She didn?t want to leave him. She wanted to stay there, and forget about everything else. Pretend that they were the only people in the world, the only people who mattered. She wanted to revisit all those special memories? she wanted them to construct a fantasy future for themselves again, the house with the stained glass windows? she wanted to feel his arms around her again? to have him hold her in that special way. ?When will I see you again?? He didn?t want to ask if she was having second thoughts about her marriage, or her happy family life. If she was willing to give it all up for him. For now, he was content simply being with her again, and there was nothing in the world that could make him happier than he was at that moment. ?Sean will be out at work tomorrow and the kids will be at school? ?Do you want me to pick you up from home?? She shook her head. There were far too many risks, and it just wouldn?t be right for them to be alone together in her family home. All of those memories around them, all of the guilt. No, she?d feel more comfortable keeping her life with him and her life with Sean separate. It wouldn?t be hard; when she was with Kane she could so easily shut the whole world out, and when she was with Sean and the kids it was hard for her to feel down in the happy family atmosphere that had always succeeded in contenting her. She knew it was wrong to try and get the best of both worlds, but it was all that she could think to do. ?No? it?s too risky? the neighbours are terrible and you?d be the talk of the street in no time? um, I?ll call you?? ?Promise?? She nodded, smiling widely. ?Promise? They shared a final lingering kiss before she opened the door a crack, checking to ensure that no one was around, before slipping out. *** She had been gone for fifteen minutes, and the moment she arrived back she was faced with an interrogation by the family, led by Rhys, who she assumed was concerned that she had been abducted by the evil barman. ?Where have you been?? ?I just felt a bit odd? I went to get some fresh air? She smiled at her father as she took her seat, surprised at how calm she felt. Seeing Kane, being that close to him again, had succeeded in relieving all that tension and anguish that had built up in her those last couple of weeks. ?Sean mentioned that you hadn?t been well? ?I think it?s just a bug, but I?m feeling better now? are we going to get something to eat here?? Sean responded ?I?ve told them that we can all go back to ours - this isn?t exactly the type of place you?d want to be eating at? Kirsty nodded, and as Sean turned away from her she took the opportunity to glance up at the bar. Kane seemed making a point of not looking in her direction, and she couldn?t help but wonder if he was purposely trying to wind her up. *** She closed the door behind them before turning back to Sean with a sigh, glad to her house back along with some peace and quiet. ?Peace at last? He laughed in agreement ?I thought they?d never leave? They had wound up getting a takeaway and a few drinks in, and it was now gone midnight, they having spent numerous hours simply talking and eating. ?You looked happier this evening? Kirsty nodded, not sure how to react to his observation. ?Yeah, I?m feeling better now, and it was nice seeing them all together again, Dani especially? I?ve barely spoken to her these last couple of years? ?Hmmm, I think the evening went quite well?? Kirsty glanced at him, falsely scornful. ?Yeah, apart from Max?s kids causing chaos, us getting thrown out of the restaurant and winding up eating in a pub where Dad wants to throttle one of the barmen? She hesitated upon the recollection, but he simply laughed as he was reminded of how the evening started out. ?Well, apart from those minor details? They walked back through to the living room, surveying the mess that remained, empty bottles and cans strewn amongst the takeaway litter and dirty crockery. An almost simultaneous groan overcame them. ?Reckon it can wait till morning?? ?Oh, definitely? She leant onto him as he put an arm around her, wondering just what their relationship ought to be. If she wanted Kane, then what for their relationship? She was far too close to Sean to simply let him go, she cared about him too much and couldn?t imagine life without him. But did she love him as a husband or simply as a best friend, a lifetime companion, as she would love a member of her family? She just didn?t feel the passion for him that she did for Kane? at least not anymore. As she turned to smile at him, he leant in for a kiss, but as it deepened and his hand moved to the buttons on her top she pulled away, offering only a mumbled apology as he withdrew, casting her a puzzled glance. ?Is everything ok?? ?Yeah, I?m just really tired? it?s been a long night? She smiled weakly, her mood brought down once more. She felt bad for what had happened earlier that evening, for her betrayal. But then she also felt bad for getting close to Sean, for betraying Kane as well. ?How about you get to bed? I?ll check on the kids, and don?t worry about getting them to school tomorrow - I?ll take care of it? She smiled gratefully, kissing him briefly on the cheek before walking up the stairs and into their bedroom, where she closed the door before falling back onto the bed with a sigh. At least she couldn?t complain that her life was boring.
Claire Posted May 27, 2005 Report Posted May 27, 2005 What did I *say* about kicking me if I failed to update? Claire, I think you're writing this really well. We should probably be hating Kirsty for betraying Sean like she is but we don't! More soon, please! So glad that she isn't coming across as the selfish and evil adulteress (if that's a word?) becuase when I was writing it I was kinda concerned that KK would come off as the bad guys Nope, trust me on this one. They were thrown out because nobody in the restuarant could stand Max either!!! 13. She felt like a teenager again as she stared up at the ceiling of their bedroom, listening as Sean and the kids prepared to leave the house. She had butterflies in her stomach, the anticipation of seeing him again putting an irremovable smile on her face. ?I?ll see you later Kirst? His voice came floating up, followed by Tanya and David?s eager ?Bye Mum?. It never failed to surprise her how they managed to enjoy school. Obviously not a trait that they had inherited from her. ?Bye, have a good day? She reached over for her phone on the bedside table, and looked up Kane in her address book. She doubted that Sean would even bat an eyelid at Kane?s name being there, even if he did decide to invade her privacy by checking her phone. She just had to be careful to delete the messages. ?Love you? She hesitated as Sean?s voice called out again. There had been a time at which she had cherished those moments. The simple ?Love you? before they parted in the mornings, that simple gesture that had always made her feel so comfortable. Now the words just made her uneasy. She had said the same to Kane only the previous night. ?Love you too? It wasn?t a lie? not exactly. It was like telling her Dad that she loved him, or Dani, or Max. It wasn?t like telling Kane. She heard the door close behind them and pressed the call button on her phone, biting her bottom lip as it started to ring and snuggling back down in the covers, the phone pressed to her ear. *** She paused before she rounded the corner into the street where she had arranged to meet him, and glanced down at her hand. Contemplating it for a moment, she withdrew her rings, slipping them into her pocket and made a mental note to replace them before she returned home. His car was already sitting there as she rounded the corner, and she was able to climb straight into the passenger seat beside him ?Thought you weren?t coming? Their lips met gently in greeting ?A woman needs time to get ready. <I>We</I> can?t just jump out of bed and out of the door? She looked him up and down to make a point, and his face screwed up in protest ?Hey! I made an effort? it?s a clean shirt? He glanced in the mirror, brushing his ruffled hair down as she chuckled at him. Sean had always paid such attention to his appearance when they had been dating, so much so that she had teased him about being over-eager to present himself as the perfect boyfriend, especially in the face of her father. But Kane was just comfortingly casual, not wanting to present himself as anything he wasn?t. The fact was, Sean had always been the respectable guy he had presented himself as, whereas Kane wasn?t likely to win her family around with a suit or a tie. ?Anyway, I was working late last night? we don?t all get to play the lady of leisure? ?Eugh, just wait until you have kids and see if you say the same then!? He half-smiled as she hesitated, wondering why she had said it. ?So where are you taking me?? ?It?s a surprise?? ?Surprise as in you don?t actually know yourself?? ?That obvious, huh?? He hadn?t had time to plan anything, deciding that he?d have to take the day as it came. They?d go for lunch somewhere, perhaps a caf? somewhere, or a picnic out in the country, and they?d just enjoy the time in one another?s company. ?Yep, you haven?t changed? I can still read you like a book? He laughed as he subconsciously took her hand, his fingers gently brushing over her own as he spoke. ?I was thinking we could head out of town, perhaps somewhere near the sea?? His deliberate pause informed her that he had noticed the absence of her wedding rings, and only a glance between them was passed before he continued. ?Depends how much time we have though? when do you have to be back?? It really was like the old days. They could never have limitless hours to spend together as they wished. She had always had a family to get back to? commitments? a life that didn?t include him. ?The kids finish school at half three, so we?ve got about five hours? She knew the time would fly by whilst she was with him, like it had always had done. Five hours would pass in the blink of an eye, within a single kiss. And then the time would come for her to go back to the real world. As he started the engine she couldn?t help but feel like they were running away again, and in a way she was. She was stepping out of her old life and into another existence, if just for a matter of hours.
Claire Posted June 17, 2005 Report Posted June 17, 2005 Thanks for reminding me about this, Di. And mega-thanks for the reviews! 14. She wondered what people would think when if their relationship were ever revealed? what people would say. She knew that people wouldn?t understand - they would assume she was just a housewife who had bored of the day-to-day routine and was simply after some excitement and lust. They would never understand that she and Kane were deeper than that, just as people would never be able to comprehend how she could have fallen in love with a man who had attacked her own sister. How would she explain to them that it wasn?t simply that forbidden aspect, that excitement, that had drawn them together? That she could see actually them together in years to come, growing old together, having their own family? She leant backwards into his arms, and as her weight rested on him he too gently lowered himself back onto the grass, allowing her head to come to rest on his shoulder as they stared up at the sky. ?I can?t remember the last time I felt this relaxed? She sighed contentedly. She really did need an escape from the routine of family life on a regular basis. It had been so long since she and Sean had got out of the city without the kids ?Mmm? He turned his head slightly to plant a kiss on the side of her face before resting his head to hers. The heat of the sun beating down on them was making him sleepy, and he didn?t think he?d be able to bring himself to move, even if he wanted to. ?Do you ever wonder how things could have been? I mean, if you hadn?t left me? ?All the time? do you think I made the right decision?? She mulled over his question for a moment, knowing that her feelings on the issue had been a roller coaster. ?You broke my heart back then? I?d have done anything to have you back, to know that you really did love me? I really thought we had a future?? He bit his lip, reminded of the agony that he had spent years just overcoming. The pain of leaving the one person who he had ever loved, the only person that he had every felt close to. Breaking her heart had in turn broken his own. ??but then I turned my life around and everything just fell into place? I aced my exams? I met Sean and I was so happy? I guess you were responsible for that?? She sighed, running her fingers casually over his chest, thoughtfully tracing shapes on his shirt. ?But now you?re back and everything?s been turned upside down? I want to have what I?ve got now with you, but I can?t? I can?t change the fact I?ve got kids? don?t get me wrong, I wouldn?t give them up for the world but? I just think if we?d stuck together then we could have had it? it might have taken longer, but we could have made it, and if everything had worked out then life would be so simple, I wouldn?t have to feel so guilty? eugh, why do you have to make things so difficult?!? ?I can?t help it? ?difficult? is the story of my life?? They sat in silence for a moment before she brought her hand down to his, slipping her fingers between his own as she gently lifted his arm to get a look at his watch. ?We ought to be getting back? ?Nah, we?ve got another ten minutes? He was so reluctant to leave her, so reluctant to return to that run down flat and that tedious job. He?d have been happy to lie there for the rest of eternity. ?That?s what you said an hour ago!? She lifted herself up beside him ?I?ve got to collect Tanya and David from school? I can?t be late? He nodded, acknowledging her determined tone of voice as he propped himself up. ?Can I see you tomorrow? I mean, Sean will be at work and the kids will have school again?? Everything was telling her to agree. To spend some time every weekday with him would be like a dream, like having two separate lives. ?Kane, I?m gonna have things to do around the house? they?re going to notice something?s up if nothing gets done? She had a stack of washing growing by the day, and she hadn?t even had a chance to think about getting the shopping done for the week. She felt so selfish for wanting to ignore it all for her own enjoyment. ?Tell them you?re out all day then? tell them that you?ve got a part-time job or something? She didn?t want to lie, but perhaps it could work. She could tell Sean she was going to do some work in a charity shop or something, to fill a few hours in the day. She knew he?d believe her? he trusted her too much not to, but she knew just how guilty his trust now made her feel. She didn?t deserve his trust. ?We?ll see? ?And you?ll see me tomorrow?? She looked down at him, laughed, and nodded. How could she possibly resist another day like that? They had driven out into the country, picking up some food at a village as they passed through and had simply driven out into the middle of nowhere to eat. Simply being together had contented them more than any form of entertainment, and the day had flown by as they had just sat together, basking in one another?s company, childishly finding pictures within the clouds. *** She removed her wedding rings from her pocket as soon as she was around the corner and slipped them onto her finger, a pang of guilt washing over her as she was brought back to reality with a thud. She was dreading returning home, more so the time she and Sean usually spent together in the evenings once Tanya and David were in bed. She used to love that time with him, but now she was terrified of it.
Claire Posted July 16, 2005 Report Posted July 16, 2005 Cripes... it's been a month since I touched this! 15. Her eyes moved solemnly around the dingy lounge room as she adjusted to the dim lighting, a result of the makeshift curtains being unable to open fully. “So how long have you been living here?†He shifted uneasily, feeling somewhat ashamed of living in a place like that. He knew the sort of place that she had become accustomed to, and had only reluctantly agreed to let her see his place when she had insisted. “A few months now†He clocked the look of on her face as she cast her eyes over the wallpaper, a mucky combination of brown against a dark creamy colour. He continued. “It’s not exactly luxury, but it serves a purpose†“This place needs decorating… the colour is just depressing†It was something he had considered when he first moved in, before deciding it would be more trouble than it was worth. Back then he didn’t intend to be living there for that long, and had reasoned that even if he was, he would be the only one to see it. “You volunteering?†It was a jovial enough remark, and he was surprised by her nod of enthusiasm that followed. “Why not?†“Ah, so the lady of leisure wants to get her hands dirty†She stuck her tongue out at him in protest against the way he persisted in referring to her like that. “Don’t sound so surprised! Sean and I did most of the decorating at our place! I’m an expert†He raised his eyebrows, deciding that it certainly couldn’t hurt to take her up on the offer of assistance. “Can you start this weekend?†Her face fell slightly as she broke eye contact. “Kane, we’ve discussed this…†More than once they had gone over the difficulties of she seeing him at the weekends, the time she always made a point of dedicating to her family. “Monday, then?†She nodded in agreement. “Monday it is†*** He glanced at the colour chart that he had picked up on his way in before looking back up at the stacks of tins in front of him, already frustrated. So much for Kirsty saying a light shade of blue would look good in the hallway. There were at least three shades to match her criteria, and not to mention the other few rooms in the flat that needed a coat of paint. Still, he supposed it was an adequate enough use of his savings if he was to be sticking around. Kirsty had boldly stated that she wanted to feel at home at his place, and he was equally keen to make it happen. “Kane?†The colour chart crumpled in his hand as he recognised the voice, looking up just as Sean wandered down the aisle towards him “I thought it was you… how are you doing?†“Mmmm, not bad… what are you doing here?†Stupid question, he knew. He wondered if Kirsty was with him, only a few aisles away, or outside in the car. “I’ve been sent on a mission - Tanya’s decided that she wants her room decorated… you should see the colours she’s chosen - a blinding selection of pinks and purples†They laughed, Kane casting his eyes downwards. “Not taking after her mother, then?†“Hell, no… I think the whole princess thing she has going on is her Auntie Dani’s influence†Dani had visited their home a couple of times before she returned to the States, and she and Tanya had got on surprisingly well, which was more than could be said for she and David, who had persisted in referring to Dani as “Mummy’s posh sister†throughout her visits. Kane nodded knowledgably as Sean continued “I was hoping that Kirsty could get her to tone the colours down a bit, but I reckon both of them have inherited the Sutherland stubborn gene†“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full†“Tell me about it… so you’re doing some decorating as well?†“Hmmm… thought my flat could do with a touch of paint†“Sounds like you’re trying to impress†Kane remained silent, looking serious enough for Sean to steer the conversation away. “You doing it all yourself?†Kane nodded, knowing that it probably wouldn’t be the best move to bring Kirsty into it. “Yeah… how hard can it be?†He laughed falsely, still refusing to let his eyes meet Sean’s. Maybe he was just scared that he would give something away. “I’m free at the weekend if you need a hand… me and Kirst did up our place so I’m a bit of an expert†Kane pursed his lips at the way Sean and Kirsty were even beginning to sound like one another. “I’ll be fine… thanks anyway†Kane watched bitterly as Sean wandered back up the aisle, wishing for the thousandth time that he could be in his shoes. Perfect home, perfect wife, perfect kids, perfect wife. He had it all.
Claire Posted July 31, 2005 Report Posted July 31, 2005 Possibly my longest chapter yet... three chapters left after this, and hopefully I should have them all posted befopre my holiday... aiming for a chapter-a-day *crosses fingers* 16. He was jolted from his deep sleep by a persistent knocking on the door, and after a brief glance at the clock he managed to haul himself out of bed and to throw a shirt on before stumbling sleepily to his front door. “Took your time!†Kirsty slipped past him into the flat “Kirst… what are you doing here?†They never usually got a chance to meet at the weekends. Aside it being impossible for Kirsty to come up with enough feasible excuses to allow her to come and see him regularly, she also wanted the time to spend with the kids, refusing to neglect them by pursuing her own desire. “Am I not allowed to surprise you?†“Hey, I wasn’t complaining†He shut the door and put the latch back on before turning back to, slipping his arms around her waist “So how come…?†“Sean’s taken the kids to visit his parents for the day, and me and his Mum don’t exactly get on†“The mother-in-law from hell, huh?†He wondered how Kirsty would get on with <I>his </I>mother. He guessed they would be worlds apart, but not even he knew his Mum properly to be sure. She spent most of her time telling him to go to his room and to keep out of the way, or sitting in a drunken stupor in the corner, trying to escape her own miserable world. He often wondered what she was like before she met his father, what sort of life she had had, what her family had been like. He had never met the rest of his family. Kirsty rolled her eyes. Mother-in-law from hell was an understatement. She could never work out how a guy like Sean could have descended from such a stuck up and picky woman. “She’s just determined to find fault with everything I do… we had them over for Christmas dinner last year and she even managed to find fault with the way I peeled the carrots†He laughed at her irritation as they made their way to the sofa in the lounge room, he tidying roughly as they went, despite the mess not appearing to register with her. He had been intending to give the place a once over so they could crack on with the decorating the following day. “So you managed to get out of going with them then†“Yeah, I think Sean has clocked onto the fact that I’m not a big fan of his mother so it wasn’t hard†She sat back into his arms as he sat down next to her. *** Kirsty slipped her fingers through Kane’s as they lay back onto the sofa. The rain had been beating down all morning and the last thing either of them fancied doing was actually cracking on with the decorating. Just lying there, the television playing softly away in the background, was preferable to hard work. “Sean mentioned that he had seen you yesterday†“Hmmmm… yeah, we bumped into one another†He traced a finger up and down the side of her arm, resting the side of his face onto the back of her head as he wrapped his arms tighter around her. “He hasn’t got a clue… about us, I mean†He glanced down at her for a moment. “Isn’t that a good thing?†“I’ve never lied to him before… there’s not many people I can say that about…†“You’re<I> not</I> lying… as such†She slipped her fingers out of his, brushing her hair back tensely. She couldn’t even begin to justify herself. “But I’m hiding something from him†He glanced at her anxious expression, wishing there was something he could say, wishing that he could understand. Kirsty frowned, searching for a change of subject as she sat up. “You’ll be able to paint Buckingham palace with the spare paint you’ll have left after this†Kane hesitated, detecting her unease. “I thought I’d buy a bit extra – just in case†“Just in case, what?†She looked at him half-incredulously as he made a face at her. “Just in case you change your mind on the colour or something – you know what you’re like†She shook her head in mock exasperation, unable to stop the laugh that escaped. She’d missed his harmless teasing, the way he could always make her laugh. “You’re hopeless†“But you love me anyway†“Hmmm… more’s the pity†He sighed, surveying the room. “So where do we start?†“I’ll go and make some coffee, you start covering the furniture with those white sheets†“Slavedriver†She proceeded through to the kitchen to fill the kettle, switching the kettle on before relaxing back onto one of the worktops, mulling over the previous day, quite possibly the longest of her life. After returning with the decorating materials, Sean had taken the kids for a swim. She would usually have joined them, but both Tanya and David had wanted to take friends and it wasn’t physically possible for all of them to fit in the car, despite Tanya’s insistence that she could easily fit into the boot. She and David had just laughed to themselves and reminded her of her fear of the dark, and the fact that there would be plenty of creepy crawlies to keep her company back there. So she had ended up staying at home, grabbing some blissful peace and quiet, and had dug out some old photos of she and Kane, succeeding in torturing herself with them. She had had the urge to go round to see him, but then Jade had called and they had found themselves caught up in conversation about Dani’s upcoming nuptials, and the fact that she was expecting the whole family to travel over to Florida to watch her have the wedding of her dreams. It was to be her third wedding in the space of Kirsty’s one, her short-lived marriage to Scott falling to pieces crumbling almost the moment that Scott revealed he had only agreed to do it to appease her. Her second marriage had lasted for three years, before he had found himself crippling with debt, and unable to be honest with her. If she was honest, Kirsty doubted her newest beau would last long, and hadn’t felt in the least bit ashamed as she and Jade cast bets on how many weeks this one would last. She had always taken pride in the knowledge that she and Sean were still standing strong after all that time. At least up until a few weeks ago.
Claire Posted August 1, 2005 Report Posted August 1, 2005 Great chapter, Claire!  If you do a chapter a day.. then I should have 6 chapters to read by the time I come back from my holiday! Yay, looking forward to that! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> It'll have to be more frequent than that, methinks... I want to get it all posted before I go away on Thursday... but yeah, you should have six Reading through some of this now (I wrote it a while back) I'm not altogether happy with bits and pieces... the writing and how I describe things more than the actual direction of the story... Meh. 17. “What do you think?†He squinted, wondering what he was meant to think. It was just a pair of curtains. She had picked them on her way over, deciding that they were too big a bargain to miss, seeing as they’d go with the colour that they had chosen for the lounge. “Yeah… they’re nice, Babe†“Nice†She raised an eyebrow. He really had to grow a feminine side. “Sorry… I just…†He sighed, shaking his head irritably. “…I’m just sick of hiding away like this†“We’re not hiding away†Deep down she knew that they were. After all, simply stepping outside the front door was a risk she was unwilling to take. What if she saw someone she knew, one of Tanya and David’s friends parents, or one of Sean’s many business associates? The word would get around and her comfortable life could be on the rocks. Sean wouldn’t take her back, he wouldn’t let go of the kids, he’d fight her for custody all the way. And then there was how her family would react… there would be no end of lectures, from her father, from Dani, and she’d be lucky if they so much as spoke to her again. “But we’ve been here for hours… I’m getting cabin fever†He flopped down onto the dust sheet on top of the sofa with a disgruntled sigh for effect as she watched him downheartedly. “C’mon… let me take you out for the day - we could see a movie, go for dinner somewhere, follow it up by a walk by the sea…†She looked down at him, wanting so much to accept, against all of her better instincts. “I don’t get to spend enough time with you as it is… let’s make the most of it†“One condition†“Name it†“We at least get out of the city… go somewhere that no one knows us - where no one will care†*** “Kane!†She screaming, knocked out of her daydream as a splash of water hit her and he sat back in the boat with a grin, a smile that soon wiped off his face as she dragged her hand through the water and splashed him back twice as hard. “Careful!†He leant over to one side to prevent the boat from capsizing as she leant too far over. “Sorry… I forgot we didn’t have too much luck with these things†The Mirigini… she jumping overboard to avoid Alf… it seemed a lifetime ago now. She sat back resting herself up against him, taking in the sunshine. After their lunch at a small café on the seafront they had hired a boat, not dissimilar to that which they had taken out on their first date. He had wanted to take her on some afternoon cruise out around some beautiful island, but she had insisted that she wanted some time alone with him and besides, this had more sentimental value. She wondered, as ever, if she was simply trying to turn the clock back when she was with him and forget that things were any different to what they had been ten years beforehand. “You never did tell me what you’ve been up to these past ten years†“Because it’s way too boring†She narrowed her eyes, getting the distinct impression that he was holding something back. “I don’t believe you†She tried to make it sound as light-hearted as possible, trying in vain to break down that barrier that he had built up around himself again. “I got my Coxmans certificate, I worked on a boat for a bit, then I decided to track you down. Happy?†She frowned as he shifted uncomfortably. “Now how do you fancy stopping off here†He nodded towards a stretch of beach that stretched along one side of the inlet, desperately searching for a change of topic. *** It was past seven when his car finally rolled up outside the flat, he hoping that she would agree to stay a bit longer, not keen on saying goodbye just yet. He got out of the car, walking around to the other side to open the door for her. “I ought to be getting home…†She was reluctant and it echoed through her voice. There was a time at which she’d have enjoyed going home of an evening, revelling in even the most monotonous housework. Part of her felt guilty for pursuing her desires, but another part of her was willing to do it again and again. “I thought you said Sean wouldn’t be back until nine†He raised an eyebrow almost longingly. “I guess…†“You’ve got time for a coffee, then…?†She knew she ought to be getting home at that very minute. That stack of washing wouldn’t do itself and there was still a mountain of washing up from that morning that she had discarded in favour of spending time with Kane. And even after a full day she didn’t want to leave him, she hadn’t had enough of him, she could never have enough of him. She shook her head, smiling as if to tell him that she was giving in as she stepped out of the car “You’re a bad influence, Kane Phillips†“It’s only coffee… would you prefer me to ply you with alcohol and take advantage?†He unlocked the door to the flat, holding it open for her as she stepped inside, hesitating before she spoke again. “Not sure about the alcohol…†He glanced across at her as he clicked the door shut “Just as well it’s coffee then…†He trailed off, trying to guess what she was thinking as they stood there for a moment or two, just staring into one another’s eyes, neither of them sure what to do. He could feel the sweat on his palms, wondering why on earth he was getting so inexplicably nervous around her. He was a grown man, and yet she made him feel like a teenager all over again. The day had been perfect, she was perfect, life was perfect. “I love you†She smiled back, her voice a mere whisper “I love you too†She stepped towards him and their lips touched gently, the kiss deepening as she tugged at the buttons on his shirt, only to be interrupted by her phone ringing out. “It’s Sean†She sighed with discontent, wondering how Sean could get his timing so spectacularly wrong. “Leave it…†He balanced his forehead on hers as she looked down at the display on the phone “What if it’s important…?†She bit her lip, glancing at him before looking back down to the display on the phone, pressing to reject the call and switching her phone off. It was probably just him calling to say that he was leaving his Mum’s place, and would be home in an hour or so. Nothing important in the scheme of things. “Where were we?†*** Sean frowned as his call was diverted to the answering machine “Kirst, it’s me… could you call me as soon as you get this… it’s urgentâ€
Claire Posted August 2, 2005 Report Posted August 2, 2005 The thing is I love description... it adds something to the story for me... Although I do wonder if one of the reasons I'm so critical of work I've written a while ago is due to my English A-Level being ongoing through writing and my being more advanced in my writing (without wanting to sound too... big-headed... but I read things that I know I would no longer word as I did back then... if you get me?) 18. She sighed as she closed her eyes, pressing her own body against his, trying to stretch the moment out for as long as possible. Perhaps it was moving way too fast, but at that moment in time she didn’t care. She wouldn’t change it for the world. She guessed that at least an hour must have passed before either of them spoke, an hour of the most blissful silence of her life. “I love you†As he broke the silence she eased her head up to look him in the eye and he took the chance to study her face, every detail now so familiar. “I love you too†She smiled softly before narrowing her eyes at the way his own gaze thoughtfully wandered over her face, a gentle smile etched on his lips. “What?†He shrugged it off gently “Just thinking†“What about†“How perfect this is… how perfect you are†“Eugh†She forged irritation at the remark as she detached herself from his waist and eased her body up so that her head was able to rest against his own on the pillow. “Anyway, I never had you down as the soppy, romantic type†“Hey, I can be romantic†He protested uncaringly as he lay back, the knowledge that their time together would shortly be coming to an end washing over him. “I might just hold you to that†She sighed, forcing herself to glance at the clock on the bedside table, groaning at the result. “I’ve got to get home†“C’mon… give me ten more minutes…†“Kane, I’m serious… I’m gonna be hard pushed to come up with an excuse as it is…†She trailed off. She just didn’t want to have to start lying again, but she knew that Sean would ask her what she had been doing all day and she would have to lie. Again. She sat up in the bed, begging her body to move further. *** He watched after her longingly as she rounded the corner and disappeared from sight. There was nothing he wanted more in the world at that moment than to spend the whole night by her side. Why did life have to be so difficult? Would it ever be possible for them to spend any real time together? He sat back, wondering why she would ever choose to leave such a perfect life, a life she so clearly loved, and go away with him. He thought that she was mad the first time around. She itched to go back to him the minute she was out of his sight. Every step away felt like a mile, and yet another part of her dragged her forward, towards her children, away from that selfish life with Kane. She tried determinedly to divert her mind to the matter in hand as she neared home, how she would explain where she had been, what she had been doing, who she had been with. Sean was too trusting for his own good and would accept every word of it and her sleep that night would be disrupted by her own guilt. *** She knew something was wrong the minute she walked through the front door. The house was deadly silent and Sean walked straight through from the kitchen as he heard the door click shut, phone clutched in his hand.
Claire Posted August 3, 2005 Report Posted August 3, 2005 19. “Sorry I was out when you got back I…†He left her no time for an explanation as she shakily hung her coat up on one of the hooks at the door, preparing for the worst. Perhaps someone had seen her earlier? She recounted where they had been, what they had done together but it was pointless she even trying to piece it all together. There was no way she could talk her way out of it this time. “I think you’d better come into the lounge and sit down†“Why… what’s going on? She glanced around, the eery and unusual silence of the house getting to her in a way that it had never done before. She’d usually be glad of it. “…and where are the kids?†“I left them at my Mum’s… look, I had a call from Max earlier… I tried to get in touch but your phone cut me off…†“Sorry, I had a bit of trouble with the battery and - †She was lying again without even meaning too… it was becoming a force of habit again. “Kirsty†He cut her off again and she smiled apologetically, trying to ignore the worry etched on his face. “Sorry… you said Max called?†“Yeah… look… he doesn’t want you to worry too much, but your Dad has been taken into hospital…†“What? Why?†It was a mixture of confusion, relief and fear that washed over her face as he sat beside her and took her hand. “They think it was a heart attack… the last I heard they had taken him into surgery… now I’m sure he’ll be fine but I think it’d probably be a good idea for you to get down there… apparently Jade was in a bit of a state and she’s probably going to need you†She gasped back tears as Sean wrapped his arm firmly around her and she allowed herself to sink her head into the shoulder of his shirt. A moment later, she pulled back jerkily. “I should go… now… do you mind if I take your car? Mine’s been playing up recently†“I’ll drive you… Mum has said that she’ll be fine with the kids for the night…†“Sean, I don’t think we should be abandoning them like that… it’s probably going to be fine… nothing to worry about… no need to start worrying them yet†She threw her coat on again, grabbing her keys off the hook, barely affording him a glance. The fact that she had spent the entire day with her other man only made her want to distance herself from him further. “Kirst, I don’t want you doing this alone… I know how close you and your family are†“Sean, just be here for the kids, ok? I’ll call you when I get there†She didn’t attempt a glance at him as she headed out of the door alone, not waiting for him to object again. She had some clothes at the caravan park if she wound up staying, and she didn’t want to waste time packing. She had wasted enough time already. How was it that things always had a tendency to turn so horribly wrong? When she was meant to be there for her family, for her Dad she had been too busy betraying her husband to pay them a second thought. *** She felt lost as she walked into the bustling hospital, feeling almost as if she was a little girl again in a world that was moving too fast for her to keep up. The place didn’t bring back the best memories for her… the ecstasy, the boat disaster, the kidney problems that she had encountered shortly after she had met Sean… “I’m looking for my father… Rhys Sutherland?†She smiled faintly at the woman behind the desk, wishing that she hadn’t decided to do this alone. She must have broken the speed limit through the entire journey to get there so fast, and she could hear Sean’s voice in her ear throughout the drive, advising her to slow down. He had never been a fan of her eagerness to get to places as fast as possible, but for once she had wanted him there, she need him by her side. “This way… Miss Sutherland?†Kirsty glanced up to correct her. “Mrs Osbourne†She was led down a series of corridors as she steeled herself. She saw Jade the minute she rounded a corner, and Shelley sat a fair distance away in morbid silence. Max paced up and down outside one of the doors, pausing only for a moment as she greeted them. “What’s going on?†“He’s still in surgery… he should have been out by now†Max writhed his hands in irritation as Kirsty sat gingerly down next to her mother. They had all been so happy when they had last seen one another, her Dad had been so… healthy. “I came as soon as I heard†Her mother coughed back the shake in her voice “Where’s Sean?†“At home… I thought he should stay behind with the kids†Shelley nodded blankly. “There’s no point getting them upset… not until we know what’s happening†She turned her head away to blink back the tears, reluctant to show the cracks in her calmness to her children. “Do you want a coffee?†Shelley shook her head “Max? Jade?†“No thanks, Kirst†They were plunged back into an anxious silence again and she shifted uneasily in her chair, despising the fact that there wasn’t a thing she could do. “Well… I’ll just…†She indicated briefly in the direction of the corridor in which she had seen the drinks machine before standing and walking down the corridor, wondering where she had seen those toilets when they had come in. *** Only when she was alone in the bathroom, leaning over the sink and staring at her exhausted face in the mirror did things really start to sink in for her and could the tears fall freely at last. He mother looked ready to collapse into tears out there, and the others weren’t much better. It was serious… more serious that she had anticipated, and she cursed herself for pushing Sean away at a time when she needed his calm and unconditional support so badly. She had always been too stubborn for her own good. She fumbled in her bag and grasped her phone, hesitating as she entered her address book, wiping away a stray tear before dialling out. To Kane.
Claire Posted August 4, 2005 Report Posted August 4, 2005 Guess the last couple of chaps will have to wait until I get back... I'll cruelly (but not intentionally ) leave you on a cliffhanger. *** 20. She paced up and down outside her father’s room, cursing herself. Why Kane? Why <I>him</I>. Sean was the one who would offer the most comfort, who would be the most understanding. She had seen the heartache he went through after his own father’s stroke, she had supported him through it, <I>she</I> had been the one to stand by his whole family when things had seemed so grave. So why Kane, when he would only cause more trouble… why him? She spun around as one of the doctors finally put in an appearance. “Mrs Sutherland…†“He will be ok… won’t he?†Shelley looked at him with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. “All we know at the time being is that this night will be vital… we’ve done all we can but so far Mr Sutherland has been unresponsive to a lot of our treatment†“So you’ve been in there for hours and that’s all you can tell us?!†Max’s voice faltered as he combined anger with devastation. “I’m sorry†Kirsty heard Jade bite back a whimper and she herself grasped hold of the side of one of the chairs. Sean, she wanted Sean there. “I need some fresh air†Her voice broke as she sped towards the door, pleading that no one would follow her out. If she spoke to anyone at that moment she would reveal all, because she just couldn’t handle it anymore. The lies, the grief, the betrayal. Her life was falling apart and she couldn’t help but believe that it was all her fault. Perhaps her father could sense that she had been with Kane all day when she should have been with her family, caring for them, loving them. Perhaps that was what triggered the heart attack. It sounded stupid, but just the thought of it had hurt him so much the first time around. “Kirsty?†She stumbled into Kane almost the minute that she stumbled out of the hospital door, and all she could manage was to collapse into his arms, burying her head into his chest, and begging everything to go away as she sobbed her heart out. *** “He’ll be fine, Kirsty… he’s not exactly old and he’s healthy… he’ll pull through†There was little emotion in his voice, but he knew it was what Kirsty wanted to hear, and there was nothing that he wanted more than to heal that pain. “I can’t help feeling that it’s all the hurt I’ve caused him in the past… maybe he knew about us†Kane shook his head with the tiniest hint of amusement. “That’s impossible†Her faced remained stricken with sorry. “Is it?†She answer almost incredulously, not expecting him to understand in the slightest. “It’s not like you can help it Kirst… no one can help how they feel… remember how you told me about your Dad and Beth… how he hurt her so much when he took Shelley back?†“It’s different Kane… can’t you see it’s not that simple?†She wouldn’t just be tearing Sean apart… she’d be tearing everything she knew apart, making her life unrecognisable. The rest of the family would never forgive her and her kids… she didn’t even want to think about her kids. They were too young to understand these things… all they would feel would be the unhappiness, the disruption of their cosy lives being ripped apart. “It could be… if you wanted it to be†She didn’t reply, simply shaking her head in exasperation. “Leave him Kirst… you’ll still get access to your children, no one can take that away from you… all it would mean is ending your marriage†He stopped short of telling her that the mother usually got custody. “It’s not just the marriage, Kane… don’t you see?! It’s the whole life… everything… I don’t know if I wanna walk away from it†She shook her hand away from his irritably. “You can have it all again, Kirst, <I>we</I> can have that sort of life†She shook her head, knowing just how far he was off the mark. It couldn’t possibly be the same. “Kane, you don’t have a clue†She found herself walking away from him down the corridor, accelerating as she heard his footsteps following her, his voice begging her to stop and talk to him. She knew that he wouldn’t jeopardise everything by following her back to her family, and soon his voice faded into the distance as she found herself alone in the bleak hospital again. *** She knew what had happened the minute she walked into the waiting room. Shelley and Jade were falling to pieces with grief in one corner, and Max was sat upright, staring at a wall in shell-shocked silence. “Mum?†Shelley didn’t raise her head “Max? What…?†Max could only shake his head “He’s gone?†Max nodded. Her lip quivered… she had only been gone fifteen minutes, and again she hadn’t been there. Again she had allowed herself to be distracted… perhaps her father really did know where she had been at a time when she should have been with her family. She glanced around the small gathering, unable to speak, unable to move. Why them? *** She walked back down to the main entrance, wanting so badly to escape from that grief that filled the hospital like some sort of fatal gas. She knew that people must be looking at her, wondering why her eyes looked so bloodshot, why she was such a mess. She didn’t think she had any more tears to shed after that past hour, and her sobbing had now been replaced with an enormous sense of guilt. Sean should be arriving soon. She had called him as soon as she had found, and he hadn’t hesitated before he promised to be there, by her side, as soon as he could. She was lucky, too lucky. “Kirsty†She tried to block Kane out as she walked past him, stunned that he was still lying in wait. “Just leave me alone, Kane!†“Kirsty, wait… I’m sorry… we need to talk†“My Dad is dead, Kane and there’s nothing we can talk about that’s going to change that.†He lapsed into stunned silence. What could he say? “Kirst…†He grabbed her arm gently “I’m sorry†He glanced up at him, her tear stained eyes gazing into his. “I can’t do this Kane… not now… I need some space. I’m going to go away for a while, just to get my head sorted†Perhaps some time away would help her to discover what she really wanted… and Sean wouldn’t object to her having a break if that was what she needed. He just wanted what was best for her. Sometimes she wondered if it was the same with Kane, or whether he loved her <I>too</I> much. “Go away? Where?†“Kane, it’s none of your business…†Her voice cracked as she spoke to him, her body trembling. “What about us†She shrugged. “It’s too much… I can’t do this anymore†She walked briskly towards her car. “Kirst… just… give me a call when you get your head sorted…†He ashamedly blinked back a tear as he saw her climb into her car without so much as a glance in his direction. She stepped on the accelerator, tears streaming down her face as the car rocketed away from the hospital. She didn’t have a clue where she was heading, but all she knew was that she had to get away from it all. All of the mess that kept on getting more complicated. Kane half considered giving pursuit in his own car, before reminding himself of just how dangerous it would be, and how little it would achieve. His old car wouldn’t stand a chance against Sean’s own, top of the range, model. Sean had arrived at the hospital as soon as he could, having left home as soon as he had heard the news, and had been He glanced away in frustration as her car careered out of the car park, completely ignoring him. The next thing he heard was a screech of tyres… the sickening crunch of metal. When he finally dared himself to look up again, his legs gave way beneath him and he collapsed into darkness.
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