CLASSIC Twisted Tales

[JosieTash]

i love music, myself & wanda adore H&A, but we also loved taking the micky out of anyone, partic josh & dani. it was - and is again wih REBORN - so much fun.

defuinitely the absolutely great stuff - like an ingenious way for josh to die etc - ceratinly get you totally laughing.

belgshep, i hope that have a GREAT holiday - and i KNOW you'll love all the tales that i would have posted by he ime that you return.

here's the next trio of crazyness -

Chapter 32

The half human half monkey was born, however to Seb's shame it was proven that the monkey Eve had already been impregnated and he is still in fact a virgin. Sir David Attenborough spotted Josh lurking in the jungle and on seeing the amazing resemblance between Josh and the infant monkey realised that it was in fact Josh's baby-monkey. The normally placid Sir David was so incensed that he shot Josh with a tranquilliser dart and then beat him to death with some unripe bananas...the monkeys joined in and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Seb sloped off.... where has the virgin-boy gone??

Scotty P's super-intelligent plan is working, Kit - Cola sales are increasing ...but will it be enough to save Australia?? 

Angie Russell along with her wrinkly grandfather Dylan (who due to senile dementia thinks that Angie is his mother) has returned to the Bay. Angie had previously tried to get rid of Dylan, due to his annoying nature, by faking her own death and framing him. He got off and has been in old peoples home, but they are back now to join forces with the evil Dani. Is Morag a big enough bitch to take on all three?? Will they gang up on the unsuspecting residents of SB??

The Poulos family tried to poison Kane by pretending to call a truce and giving him arsenic laden moussaka. but having survived Kirsty's cooking he was immune to the poison.... will the Poulos's try again ??

Beth has returned to Rhys's loving arms after Kirsty pleaded with her to return, Beth agreed since the ghost of Jack Hunter was hogging the sheets at night !! Will Rhys forgive her ??

Noah's craziness knows no bounds, he tried to pretend he was a counsellor at the drop in centre, but when the teen suicide rate in SB trebled his game was up. He now thinks he is a university student and Hayley is spending all her time trying to convince him otherwise.... the business is suffering...will Hayley get through to Noah?? 

Author : Wanda (First published 26/09/03)

C33

Seb decide to become a hermit again, but his peace was shattered soon after when aliens abducted him. They performed lots of medical tests on him - wondering why a teenage human male (the horniest spices in the entire universe) hadn’t had sex yet. What they found was amazing - but what is it ?

Scotty Po’s Kit Cola (a tribute to the DDG love of his life) is not only a success in Oz (where coca-cola sales have completely nosedived) but worldwide as well. Indeed, several peace treaties etc are signed (incl. one between the Israelis & the Palestinians). Unsurprisingly, Scott p wins the Nobel peace prize.

Angie & Dani, both having grown tired of old demented Dylan, decided to bump him off, and because they’re both so diabolically evil (yet brilliant) they frame Morag. The jury believes the Morag killed Dylan and sentence her to life in prison.

After getting rid of Morag, Angie reveals that she has honed her skills in her time away from the bay as a now a VERY powerful EVIL witch - who wants to use her powers to destroy Rhys and his loved ones (esp. Kane & Kirsty). Angie had decided to make Dani her apprentice. As a test of dame’s power, she kills josh - who is on the other side of the world - by using her mind to convince the chef of the hotel posh was stating in to kill mr west (by splicing him into a million little pieces - whilst josh has still alive). Will the most loving couple in the universe (and the father Kane never had) be able to withstand Angie’s & Dani’s wrath?

The Polous family tries to bust up Kane & Kirsty by sending their cousin (who is Miss Greece) to seduce Kane, but Kane isn’t attracted to the woman at all. Indeed, her appearance lead Kane to suggest to Kirsty that she should vie to become Miss Australia (and then Miss Universe) - will Kirsty succeed?

Rhys agrees to take Beth back - but only if she’ll have the hours & hours & hours of plastic surgery it will take to make her look like Pammy’s identical twin. Will Beth agree?

Hayley tried to convince Noah he’s bonkers, but a fashion design house - who Loved Noah’s wacky use of colour & fabric on one of the basketball team’s uniform he designed - hired Noah as the chief designer. Will the fashion critics like Noah’s 1-st collection - or think it’s the worst crap they’ve ever seen?

Because all of her animals obeyed pammy when Tasha instructed them to kill her, tash asked pammy to become partners in the zoo. The zoo becomes more famous when the amazing pammy is able to bring several extinct species of animals & birds back into existence. Croc Hunter Steve Irwin in NOW totally incensed the girls are more famous that him, so he sends his "pet" crocs to kill pammy & Tasha. Do the crocs have any chance against pammy & Tasha?

Jade has decided she wants to break the record for having the most continuous sex (with the same person). Jade knows she’s up to it, but will she choose to be her partner?

Author : JosieTash (First published 29/09/03)

C34

The aliens could not understand how someone Seb's size could have such a small underdeveloped penis...they laughed at him so much ...but then felt sorry for him and dumped him back on earth...he tried to speak to Uncle Alf about his problem, Alf exclaimed..''STRIKE ME RONE I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS THAT FLAMING TINY !!!! '' Seb was soooo upset that he locked himself in his room...has his ED returned?? And does anyone care??

The American public realising that Scotty P was the most intelligent, honest, compassionate and caring politician of all time begged him to stand as President of USA, as a non-American citizen this would be amazing and since he is married to Kit, Prime minister of Australia this would signal the end of hostilities. Will Scotty P accept??

Morag is now top dog in prison and already securing her release by calling in favours from her judge mates.... what the evil duo of Angie and Dani are unaware of is that unlike Angie who just got a dodgy diploma in witchcraft and Dani who is too self absorbed to be able to concentrate on anything else to work an evil spell...Morag comes from a long, long line of genuine witches and her awesome evil powers are more than a match for their amateurish attempts.... will Morag get released from prison in time to save K/K ..and what will she demand in return for helping them??

Kirsty was so flattered by Kane's faith in her that she entered the Miss Australia beauty contest...naturally she won ...and Kane is so happy and proud of her. Rhys, the father Kane never had, cried with joy when he heard the news. Will Angie and Dani 's evil plots upset their happiness??

Beth went ahead with the plastic surgery, unfortunately she picked up one of Noah's drawings of her instead of the picture Hayley had accurately drawn as the after picture for the surgeon to work from. She is now hideously deformed.... will Rhys still want her ??

Pammy worked her magic on Steve Irwin’s croc, it turned around and was heading home where it ran into Josh...it was feeling a bit peckish so ate him alive ...he died in agony ...Steve, being an ok guy, was impressed by the girls and thought if you can't beat them join them. Will their partnership prove successful ??

Alf felt it was his duty to offer his services to jade, esp. in view of the family's honour being tarnished by Seb's revelations about his lack of manhood. Jade readily agreed. Norman and Colleen got wind of the record attempt and the two couples are now turning it into an endurance challenge... which couple will succeed in winning ??

Author : Wanda (First published 29/09/03)

[JosieTash]

here's the next 3 chapters -

C35

After not eating even the tiniest mouthful of food in two weeks, Seb falls into a trance like coma. Whilst in the trance like state, he made the discovery that when he was born, he was asexual. Because Seb’s mum hadn’t seen his dad after their one night stand, she requested the doctors to make Seb male. Seb realised this was why he was SOOO tiny, so he decided to have a sex change operation - but what will the female version of Seb look like? and what name will "Seb" give to herself?

Scott initially declined the offer, as he thought it would mean he’d have to spend lots of time away from the love of his life, kit hunter, but the Yankee congress said that Scott could be US President whilst still living in Oz - he only has to visit America a few vital times a year. Scott accepted - but will some evil members of the FBI use the construction of a White House replica in Summer Bay to get rid of Scotty p?

Morag used her connections to get out in prison the day before the announced of the winner of Miss Universe. Dani & Angie planned to use the VERY public stage to kill Kirsty, Kane (the son Rhys never had), the double K twins & Rhys, but their scheme was foiled when Morag used her powers turn angie & Dani into living mannequins. In return for doing so, Morag has asked Kane & Co. to bust up colleen & Norman, as she wants sexy Norman for herself.

Rhys rejected the new Beth, who is now SOOOOO outraged that she asked the ghost of her late husband to haunt Noah FOREVER.

The partnership between Pammy, Tasha & Steve proves VERY successful - zoos owned and operated by the 3 open all around the world. Tasha, the curious girl that she is, decided to try to create weird cross-breads of animals. Her 1st attempt, the mix of a shark & a dog, results in a shark that can walk on land (and well as swim in the sea). Tasha tries to train the sharkdog to obey her commands, but it escapes before it’s fully trained. The 1st person the sharkdog encounters is Josh - the new species tears josh to pieces, then the sharkdog cocks its leg and urinates on josh’s remains.

Jade and Alf win the contest easily - and break the world record, but when Alf tried to stop having sex with the younger Sutherland twin, jade (whilst Alf had still inside her) tied Alf to her so the sex would continue. Alf could feel his heart racing SOOO much - will he have a heart attack, and will Jade be thrown in the slammer if Alf dies?

Author : JosieTash (First published 30/09/03)

C36

After 'her' sex change op, Sebrina starts eating again, she falls in love with Josh and Josh who has been rejected by every female in summer bay, sleeps with Sebrina.... but when Sebrina reveals her true identity Josh is so repulsed that he starts puking and chokes to death on his own vomit!!! This shatters Sebrina's allready fragile ego,..... will 'she' stop eating again??

Scotty P the most powerful but most compassionate man in the world hires Morag as his security chief ...she relishes the challenge and soon dispenses with the dumb Yank FBI agents, she also embarks on a secret affair with Norman.... they are spotted by K/K ...will they tell Colleen ??

Noah, who is batty as ever LIKES the ghost and introduces it to everyone as his new best mate...unfortunately no one else can see it ...will Noah end up in the loony bin again ??

Pammy brings the shark dog under control, but on seeing the psychotic duo of Dani and Angie keeps it close just in case...the mannequin spell is wearing off and they are plotting the downfall of the zoos......what is their next dastardly plan??

Alf's lips start to turn purple, but just in time our young hero Kane cuts the ropes and pulls Alf free. Rhys is so proud of the son he never had and Alf declares that Kane will now be the nephew he wished he had (since Sebrina is now his niece)...Kirsty is overjoyed at her darlings popularity ...and his big brother Scotty P gave him a big medal at a special ceremony in the newly constructed miniature Whitehouse built on the beachfront. Kane said in a moving speech that he owes sooo much to the kind and caring brother who raised him and was such a shining example throughout his childhood, after the death of their saintly parents. Scott modestly said that any big brother would have done the same. They had a big party with Rhys (the father Kane never had) Alf (the uncle Kane never had), Kirsty and the K/K twins sitting at the top table with Scotty P, Kit and their kids...but someone was lurking in the shadows...who would want to spoil this joyous occasion and why and how ??

Author : Wanda (First published 30/O9/03)

C37

Sebrina decides to leave the bay. She collapses (due to having had no food) approx 3 hrs north of summer bay. Because Sebrina is SOOO malnourished, the people who find him (and the police) think she is illegal boat person. Sebrina is then thrown in a refugee detention camp. Will anyone from the bay concur with Sebrina’s story of who she REALLY is?

Kirsty & Kane sees Morag with Norman, and decide to tell colleen. Colleen couldn’t help herself and told Morag, who later discovered that double k to the old woman. What will Morag do to Kane & Kirsty (or other members of their family)?

Noah is just about to be thrown in the loony bin when Beth tells everyone that she can also see the ghost of jack. In rtn for saving Noah from being locked up, Beth demands that he do her a favour - but what is it?

After they’re free of the mannequin spell, Angie & Dani concoct an evil potion, which they secretly feed to all the animals in the summer bay zoo. The animals ALL go crazy and plan to kill ANYONE in the zoo, but Pammy & Tasha were awake to the evil duo’s plans and make that day at the zoo "Josh only day". Josh - thinking he was actually important - attended and was subsequently torn into 6 trillion pieces.

Angie & Dani are VERY annoyed their plan failed, but what evil scheme are they planning now?

Whilst Kirsty, Kane (the son Rhys never had), Rhys, Alf (the uncle Kane never had), Scotty p & kit were celebrating, Jade, who was annoyed that Kane broke up her sex session with Alf, was watching everyone. She then decided to join the party. Her plan is to seduce Kane - and then kill him for interfering in her business. Because jade is such as goody, no one (not even Kane) suspects a thing. Will jade succeed?

Hayley’s parents (from the planet Yelyeh) visit Earth - to see where their grandkids are being brought up. They think Earth is a terrible place, and kidnap the alien triplets, but Hayley & Jesse follow them away from Earth in their space ship (which doubles as the lighthouse). Will Hayley & Jesse be able to get the triplets back?

Author : JosieTash (First published 01/10/03)

[JosieTash]

i'm REALLY pleased that you are enjoying all these wonderful tales !!!!!!

here's some more -

C38

Sebrina escapes from the camp and makes her way back to the Bay. On returning she is distraught that no one noticed she was missing and sits in the diner crying. Alf is upset by this sissy display of emotion and demands that the ladyboy shape up or ship out ....what will Sebrina the ladyboy do ???

Morag joins forces with the Poulos clan to get her revenge on K/K , but finds Leah and her relatives sooo annoying that she is distracted from her revenge in her desperation to shut them all up. This now becomes her number one priority but is her evil magic enough to silence this annoying family and give the Bay some peace??

Beth is desperate to get back with the handsome Rhys, before he is snapped up by one of his many adoring female admirers, she enlists Noah's help in sending anonymous love letters and flowers ...unfortunately stupid Noah delivers them to Alf, who thinks they are from Jade.... what happens next??

Jade meanwhile is trying to seduce Kane, but Kane is sooo besotted with Kirsty that he doesn't notice ...even when Jade lies down naked before him he merely steps over her and enquires if she isn't perhaps cold. Jade gives up, then she starts getting flowers from Alf ....what does she do??

Angie and Dani plan their revenge on Tasha and Kit, they notice someone lurking nearby and see that it is Josh. Naturally they don't like the fact that he was eavesdropping and sooo take great pleasure in trying out their new weapons on him, he dies in agony after being shot, stabbed, throttled, burnt, electrocuted and blown up. Dani and Angie thoroughly enjoyed themselves and decided to launch an attack on the zoo.... only to discover that they had run out of ammunition...what will they try next??

Scotty P is worried about Kit, she seems sad that her friend Hayley has gone....what can darling Scotty do to cheer up Kit??

Author : Wanda (First published 01/10/03)

C39

Sebrina wonders what to do to prove that she’s not a sissy. Because she sits in the same place, in the same thoughtful position, people think she’s one of those human statues and give her lots of money. Sebrina decides to use all the money that people throw at her feet to get a boob job, but guys will REALLY notice her - but what will the outcome of the operation be?

Morag initially casts a spell that Leah will be hit on the head with a brick every time she speaks continually for over a minute, but ALL the bricks have no effect. Morag then zips Leah’s lips with another spell, but somehow Leah breaks to spell. What will Morag do next to shut Leah up once and for all?

Jade loves that she’s getting all this attention from Alf. She believes it’s because he didn’t want to stop their record-breaking sex session. She then went to visit him, wearing the skimpiest outfit she could legally get away with, but Alf told her he doesn’t feel that way about her. Jade then works out who the notes were REALLY intended for and threatens to tell Beth if Noah doesn’t be her partner in an attempt the break the non-stop sex record - what will Noah say?

Angie & Dani decided to try and destroy Pammy & Tasha’s reputations by poisoning ALL the animals in the zoo. They planned to do some by giving the animals the deadly substances with their favourite food, but a ravenous Josh ate all the animal food - and slowly, agonisingly, painfully died a slow death.

Scott (somehow) contacts Hayley’s parents. He is SOOOO charming that her parents decide Earth must be a great place after all so to rtn the triplets to their mother. This pleases Kit very much - and when she sees Hayley’s kids, she asks Scotty p if he’d like to begin a family. Scotty p agrees. So they make passionate love that night and Kit gets preggers.

On the planet Yelyah, Hayley’s parents spread the word about Earth being a GREAT place. Soon after, MILLIONS of Yelyahlions arrived on Earth.

What will happen next?

Author : JosieTash (First published 02/10/03)

C40

Unfortunately Sebrina’s operation goes horribly wrong and she ends up with her breast implants on her back giving her that Quasimodo look !! Sebrina locks herself in her room eating non stop and crying...Alf has enough of her silly ways and orders her to get out and get a life ...what will the distraught ladyboy do ??

Morag keeps trying various spells, but none are potent enough to stop the annoying Leah's horrific shrill talking, Morag is getting increasingly frustrated ....what will she do next??

The object of Alf's desires turns out to be mama POULOS ...will she break up her annoying loud tribe to be with Alf, or will they keep it a sordid secret ??

Noah is more than happy to oblige Jade and they carry on with their non-stop sex session, however Jade finds his silly giggly comments off putting and dumps him. Josh seizes this opportunity to offer his services, Jade is so disgusted by this prospect that she dashes across the road to get away from him...Josh follows her ...but a passing truck driver mows him down and kills him...apparently he mistook him for a kangaroo...Josh's dying words were ''do I look like a kangaroo?'' of course everyone laughed at that because kangaroos are infinitely more attractive than Josh!!

Dani was sooo upset at her latest failure to kill Pammy and Tasha that she spent sooo long whinging to Angie about it that Angie eventually had enough and severed the partnership, she is now friends with Morag and is trying to help her to shut Leah up.... Dani is on her own now...will she stop her vendetta or carry on??

The aliens arrived, the first person they saw was Dani whining on about how unfair life was, the second person they came across was Leah shrieking something about moussaka, they decided that they had been sent here as a wind up and left disgusted with planet Earth and had it deleted from all their travel brochures !!!

Scotty P and Kit are enjoying trying to make a baby...but are they neglecting their electors ??

Author : Wanda (First published 03/10/03)

[JosieTash]

here's some more CLASSICs to enjoy -

C41

Sebrina decides to offer hi services to Tasha & Pammy. She suggests they could have her in their zoo as a human camel. The girls think the idea is stupid, but Josh hears of the idea and offers to be Sebrina’s manager. Josh plans to get Sebrina to join a circus – as a freak show performer, but whilst the two are talking, josh is attacked, and killed, by a bunch of kangaroos who didn’t like someone comparing them to slime like josh.

After josh’s death, Sebrina (who is gaining confidence with his hunchback look) has decided to become a …………………

Angie convinces Morag to stop going for the hurt and go for the KILL, so the pair murders Leah. Everyone on Earth, except the Poulos family, rejoices, and Angie & Morag aren't even questioned by the police as Pia and her colleagues are SOOOOO pleased that Leah is gone. Because Mama Polous is nowhere to be found (she’s off with her hot & sexy lover Alf), Alex has to lead the family’s attack against Angie & Morag – what will happen when he confronts the witches?

Jade decides to go back to starring in porn movies. Her ambitious plan is to find someone who will attempt to have sex with her continuously for 69 hrs. Will she find ANYONE who’s UP to the task?

Dani decides that all this anger she has towards the awesome (seemingly indestructible) Pammy is simply a waste of time. She then decides, because she been with every guy is town, to get herself a dog. After loving and pampering the mutt (she names it "boyfriend"), for a month or so, she begins to secretly cheat on her pooch by paly9ng around with another dog. Will "boyfriend" discover that Dani has strayed?

A lot of the closed minded people in both Australia & the USA are NOT impressed when their leaders are buying LOTS and LOTS of sex toys at with tax payer’s money, but MORE people LOVE it that prime minister Kit & president Scotty P are going at it like rabbits.

Suddenly, the ground beneath the Bay begins to shake violently and the Devil appears on Earth. He’s REALLY REALY mad that HE now has to put up with Leah’s CONSTANT chatter – Satan vows to destroy the world if something isn’t done about Leah! Wonderful Kane has an idea …….

What will happen next ?

Author : JosieTash (First published 03/10/03)

C42

Sebrina decides to become a traffic warden because everyone hates them anyway and he/she can lie in the road as a traffic calming measure !! He/she was showing his technique to Josh, who is the only person who will talk to Sebrina, but unfortunately Josh did not realise that Sebrina had reinforced steel protection under her uniform and tried to copy her. Josh lay in the road and was squidged to death by hundreds of cars in rush hour traffic...and Sebrina was sacked from her job...what will the ladyboy do now ??

The devil is mightily pissed off at having to put up with Leah's moaning, but the wonderful Kane persuades him to harness her annoying energy to fan the flames of Hades, unfortunately this results in a few volcanoes erupting around the world...but hey small price to pay for getting rid of Leah!!

Mama Poulos was caught out cheating on papa Poulos, who amazed his clan by saying he was tired of her anyway and he fancied having a go at the non-stop sex record with Jade.

Little Alexi is sooo upset at losing mummy and daddy that he is sitting in the corner of the diner rocking back and forth in the foetal position, this is very off putting for the customers who are leaving in droves...will our hero Kane's livelihood suffer??

The two witches of the Bay are bored now that Leah has been dealt with...what will they do now.... and will it be good or evil??

Scotty and Kit emerged from their love-making to quickly put right the wrongs of the world and then returned to their cosy love-nest to the cheers of adoring fans.

Dani's puppy ''boyfriend'' was sooo upset at her infidelity that he ran away, he met up with the friendless Sebrina and they are both supporting each other through their troubles...where will this friendship lead??

Jesse and Hayley return to the Bay, they go to the diner for dinner, but the sight of Alexi annoys Jesse, who is jet-lagged...what will Jesse do to poor wickle Alexi??

Author : Wanda (First published 03/10/03)

C43

Sebrina & "boyfriend" become real close, so much that Sebrina (whose still is a virgin) propositions the mutt to sleep with her. "Boyfriend" was thinking about it, then he saw Pammy walking by (with her gorgeous female puppy) and began lusting Pammy’s pooch. The ladyboy gets REALLY upset that she's been dumped by a dog - what will Sebrina do now? and is "boyfriend" good enough for Pammy’s puppy?

Jade is pleased when papa polous wants to go for the record, which they SMASH with ease. They've been having continuous sex for 100 hours now - how much longer can they go on bonking each other ?

Alex's antics give wonderful Kane an idea. Because he loves children SOOOO much, he closes down the diner and turns it into a childcare centre. because the centre in run by the family off the year, Kane & Kirsty become MEGA rich from all the parents in the area wanting to look after school.

But before the centre gets underway, Kane & Rhys (the father he never had) have to sop Jesse from hurting Alex. They do so before anyone notices what's been happening to Alex, and because Kane & Rhys are sooo loving they don’t want to wreck Jesse’s life by telling the cops. Hayley however is mad that jess lost it at Alex. She threatens to never let him see their alien triplets again - will she go through with her threat?

Angie & Morag try to ACTUALLY be good, but realise that it's FAR more fun being bad, and to celebrate their rtn to dark side, they kill Josh - then bring him back to life so they can kill him again - 1000000 times !

Dani meanwhile is jealous that her dog "boyfriend" has fallen for Pammy's pooch - what evil scheme is forming in Dani's head? 

  

Author : JosieTash (First published 04/10/03)

[JosieTash]

I'm glad that you had a great time away (and that the VCR worked), belgshep.

i'm also REALLY glad that you are enjoy these tales ...... here's 3 more -

C44

Sebrina, distraught at having been dumped by a dog, and ashamed of her virginity status advertises in a sex mag. for possible partners. She arranges a blind date.... to her horror her blind date turns out to be Uncle Alf. They are both sooo embarrassed...what will happen next??

Pammy's pooch and Dani's dog fall in love, this angers Dani, esp. since the canines choose to live with Pammy.She tries poisoning the dogs, but luckily Pammy was quick to notice the strange smell coming from their food.... she threw the food out of the window, where it landed near Josh (who had been perving on her). Josh was so hungry that he ate the poisoned food and died an agonising death from cyanide poisoning.

Mama Poulos has dumped Alf and wants Papa back...she had seen televised news clips of her hubby with Jade and realised she still had feelings for him...those feelings were only lust, but hey, you have to start somewhere. Will Papa go back to his family ??

Alex is now back in mama's care, although to give her a break he goes to the K/K day care centre to play with the other children. At first people were surprised at this 25 year old ''toddler'' but the other children like him and he seems happy. Hayley and Jesse have resolved their problems and along with everyone else their triplets are enjoying the benefits of the day-care centre. The two evil witches have noticed that there seems to be a lot of happiness around SB, and they don't like it.... what will they do ??

Colleen and Norman notice the two evil ones plotting...can the geriatrics save the day ??

Scotty P and Kit are touring the world to promote peace....as a result of his efforts for the first time in the history of the planet there are no wars ....but what of the arms manufacturers, esp. the number one weapons of mass destruction producer, ARussell/MBellingham inc,......who are these people, why do their name's sound familiar, what will they do to SB and the wonderful Scotty P.??

Author : Wanda (First published 04/10/03)

C45

Sebrina decided to become a nun, because she’d given up on EVER losing her virginity, while Alf went on a crusade and secretly destroys many gender reassignment clinics in the city – will the police discover who is too blame?

Dani’s dog gets Pammy’s puppy preggers, and when Pammy’s pooch gives birth (to 7 puppies), Dani dresses up in a dog suit (in a bid to steal several of the puppies) but she caught without a collar etc by the council and is thrown in the local pound. Dani can’t even tell them she’s human, as she can’t unzip the suit, and she can’t remove the electronic device, which makes her voice sound like a dog darking. Will Dani be able to prove she’s human? and will anyone rescue her from the pound if she can’t prove her humanity?

Josh buys himself ANOTHER new car, but the car hates josh and ejects him when the Speedo hits 100 kph. As soon as josh is out of the vehicle, the car stops it – and watches josh die a slow and painful death from dead injuries.

Mama Polous tried tom get back with her hubby, but he’s having WAAAAAAAAY too much fun making love to SB’s resident sexpert Jade. Mama Polous vows not to give up without a fight. She’s going to get her man back – even if it means killing Jade.

Angie & Morag plan to turn the child care kids from nice, kind, helpful, quite children against the brats from hell by casting an evil spell on them during nap time, but Colleen’s "spider sense" is tingling and she’s asks hunky Norman to work his charms on Morag to find out what’s going on. Once Norman discovers the witches’ plan, Kirsty & Kane keep the rug rats SOOOO entertained each and every day that they don’t need a midday sleep. This annoys Angie & Morag GREATLY – what will they try next?

Angie & Morag also try to get to Scotty P. They try to run a smear campaign about him, saying he’s was a VERY evil man is his youth, but the general public don’t believe such silly rumours for a second. After their attempts to politically destroy Scott p fail, Angie & Morag target several of their stockpiled nuclear missiles at summer bay! Will everyone be blown to smithereens? or will someone save the day?

Everyone in the Bay is shocked when Sally is arrested. Did she really kill her parents & grandmother, after having a vision of living with the Fletchers when she was just 2 years old?

Author : JosieTash (First published 06/10/03)

C46

Sebrina is enjoying her time in the convent and having passed her nun exams comes on a mission to SB, no one is interested in her religious crap and everyone ignores her. Sebrina, however, filled with goodness and saintliness carries on praying for the lost souls of SB.

Will Sebrina finally realise the futility of her prayers or will she carry on ad nauseum ??

Alf continues his commando style raids on the gender re-alignment clinics ...will he be caught ??

Dani continues to live a dogs life in the pound, her whining is irritating the kennel staff ...will she be put down ??

Josh goes to visit Dani thinking he can do it doggy style, but goes into the wrong kennel where a particularly vicious pit-bull tears him to shreds and then urinates on him !!! He dies from a combination of the bite wounds and choking on the urine !!

Mama Poulos is getting increasingly frustrated, she tried to bribe Jade, saying she would give her Alex for Papa,Jade laughed sooo much at this ridiculous suggestion and Alex cried sooo much that Mama had to take him home and read him lots of stories, poor Alex has now gone back to the breast ,...how much more can this little mummy's boy regress??

Noah, while heavily stoned on ganja, stumbled upon Angie and Morag's stockpile of nuclear weapons, he threw them as far as he could into the sea for no particular reason except that it made him laugh....he was later hailed a hero and bemusedly accepted a medal for bravery, while muttering something about munchies. What will Morag and Angie do next??

K/K's kiddy centre is such a success that they have written a childcare manual, Kane especially has drawn on his wonderful childhood experiences with many happy memories of himself and Scotty and their sainted parents and it has become a best seller. Titled ‘‘raising children the Phillips Way'' it will be the manual for all perfect parents for many years to come. Scotty is sooo proud of his little brother !!! What will these loving siblings do next ??

Sally is in deep ****, the evidence against her is mounting, she is behaving very bizarrely and crying all the time...is this a clever ploy to plead insanity at the trial??

Author : Wanda (First published 07/10/03)

[JosieTash]

i LOVED your comments, chatter box !!!

hope you (and everyone) loves the next trio of tales !!!

C47

Sebrina decides to try to do something about the 2 most evil people in the Bay. She figures that as soon as they see her, they’ll run a million miles, so she has more plastic surgery (so they won’t recognise her). Sebrina then becomes in league with the two witches, in a bid to destroy them from the inside, but is the lure of the Dark Side too much for Sebrina?

Alf recruits some of his Vietnam War buddies to help him - and the clinic destruction continues. But the police are setting a trap - will they nab Alf and his friends?

Dani is within moments of being put down when Pammy, who has sensed her archenemy’s pain, rescued Dani from the pound. She offers to release Dani from the dog suit on the proviso that Dani ONLY does good things from now on. Dani agrees and the suit is removed, but has Dani really changed, or is she as psycho as ever?

While Papa Poulos is having the time of his life having sex with Jade, Mama Poulos has noticed that Alex is not only regressing mentally, but physically as well. Everyone can’t believe that Alex now is as tall etc as he was when he was 10 yrs old - how much further will he regress?

Angie & Morag decided to use the opening of the new, much bigger Double K Childcare Centre (which will be attended by EVERYONE in the Bay) to launch the next attack. To test her loyalty, they’ve asked Sebrina to become a suicide bomber. Sebrina agrees - what will happen?

After Kane talks to his wonderful brother, Scotty P arranges for the billions of dollars the US previously spend on defence to help end poverty for all the little kiddies in the world. Double K also adopt several children for under privileged countries.

With the money the Australian government is now not spending on defence, it’s helping Tasha & Pammy with their plans to bring lots & lots of endangered species of plants & animals back from the brink of extinction. But what will fast food joints like Maccas do without all that land clearing they need for their future hamburgers, ie the cows?

The courts believe that Sally was not herself when the deaths occurred, so they order her to see a psychiatrist. Sally’s lawyer praised her on such a good acting performance, but she proved she wasn’t faking being psycho at all when the therapist said Sally is the most unhinged person he’s ever treated. The police are now on the hunt for Sally again, after she removed all her clothes and killed Josh by smothering his head between her large breasts.

Author : JosieTash (First published 07/10/03)

C48

Sebrina battles with her inner demons, she looks at her deformed features and hunched back in the mirror and jealousy and spite prevail. She agrees to be a suicide bomber. She approaches the gathered masses, but before reaching striking distance she comes across Josh. Josh begins chatting her up in his usual slimy way ...let's face it he's not fussy. and Sebrina is sooo shy and flustered at this unaccustomed attention that she drops the bomb and runs off giggling. Josh picks up the bomb and it explodes in his face, scattering him into thousands of pieces!!! What will Sebrina do next, and is being chatted up by a slime ball enough to lift her shattered self esteem??!!

Alf and co gets wind of the trap set for them, but in true Vietnam vet style the job goes on and narrowly escaping capture their vendetta continues !!!

How long can these old men keep up their war games ??!!

Dani has moved on from being a psychotic killer into the biggest whinger in the history of the world, this is proving far more annoying and irritating than her murderous attempts were. She keeps following Pammy around and moaning, even the calm and patient Pammy has had enough. She finds Sally and leaves the whining Dani with the psychotic Sally. They visit the shrink together and he declares them to be hopeless cases....will Sally's murderous intent ever go and will Dani ever stop moaning ??!!

Alex has now been enrolled in the K/K day nursery, can Kane's wonderful parenting skills halt Alex's regression??!!

The world continues to be a better, happier, peaceful place under the compassionate and loving care of Scotty P and his beloved Kit....big business is feeling threatened, esp. the arms industry and hamburger joints, Angie and Morag approach the business bosses with a cunning evil scheme to topple Scotty P from power...what are they plotting ??!!

Author : Wanda (First published 07/10/03)

C49

Sebrina’s confidence is lifted enough that she auditions to be on the next Aussie series of Big Brother. The producers of the show think Sebrina’s story is a great and she is 1 of the 16 new housemates. How far will Sebrina last before she is evicted? and will she loose her virginity in the house?

After Alf & his war mates destroy all the clinics, they’re still in the mood for more action. What will they target next? And will the police catch then this time?

Pammy, being the wonderfully kind person she is, offers Dani the pick of the puppies her pooch has given birth to. Dani selects the one she wants but she keeps on whingeing. She wants all the puppies, Pammy’s pooch AND her own dog. Pammy grants Dani’s wishes (in a bid to shut her up) but Dani then whines at such a high pitch that EVERY window in the Bay breaks. Can anyone you something about Dani?

The body count (from Sally smothering people between her breasts) continues to rise. The police finally capture Sally. They cut a deal with her, she won’t be charged with the killings if she goes back to teach at SBH. The catches are that she has to teach topless and that she can’t kill any more people. Sally agrees and not only do truancy rates amongst boys at SBH completely disappear, but also enrolments to the school increase rapidly. With ALL those students at SBH, will Sally be able resist the temptation to kill again?

Mama Poulos can’t believe it when her boy begins growing again - after Kane & Kirsty pay extra special attention to him. Because of their great parenting skills, Alex has asked K/K if they’ll adopt him. What will they say? And how will Mama Polous react?

The fast food companies of the world are greatly pleased when Angie & Morag come up with a plan to convince the people of the world that Scotty P is REALLY the evil terrorist Osama Bin Laden. Will ALL the mind numbing, constant advertising from the fast food companies convince the people of the world to believe Angie & Morag’s lies?

Josh tries to use the persuasive ads to his gain, by trying to get a multinational fast food place in the Bay. The council believe the dastardly tale and the construction of the outlet begin but this store is built in the city and will be transported to the bay when completed. On the day of the grand opening, everyone gets a shock when the outlet, which is being craned into place, falls on top of Josh, killing him instantly. Several in the crowd though to themselves "Ding dong, the witch is dead" and video rentals of "The Wizard Of Oz" increased 500% in the Bay.

No one knows where Jade is. She tried to find a younger sex partner a few days ago (having told Papa Poulos he’s not up to her standard any more) and hasn’t been seen since.

Author : JosieTash (First published 08/10/03)

[JosieTash]

I like your style, belgshep - with the tales bewing more important than work etc

thinking of new ways is to kill him was/is fun - and yeah (ch 47), what a way to go !!!!

i KNOW that you'll enjoy these -

C50

Sebrina enters the BB house, at first the other house-mates try to be nice to her , but her constant griping about her virginity , how Kane nicked Kirsty, how Jade doesn't love him, how uncle Alf doesn't understand him ..lead the other housemates to ignore the freak. Once again sad and lonely Sebrina spends all her time in the diary room , ratings of BB are dropping ...what will the producers do ??!!

Alf and his mates decide to fight Scotty P's cause ...they know he would never resort to violence so they decide to help him out anonymously ...they are successfully targetting his enemies and fighting the good fight. The police back off , they want Scotty P to beat the badguys as crime rates dropped dramatically under his guidance , so Alf and co's geriatric army blaze on...what will the multinationals do now ??!!

Dani has been declared a health risk and has been gagged for the good of all in SB , she eats liquidised food through a straw and is getting increasingly bitter....will she seek revenge??!!

Luckily for K/K Alex is too old to be adopted and apart from still having a blankey and bedwetting is now as near to being adult as he has ever been. Mama and Papa get back together ...Alexi thinks it's for his sake , but actually it's because Jade dumped Papa. Kane carries on running the day-nursery , whilst Kirsty returns to teaching at SBH to help poor Sally out. Is the work load too much for them??!!

Josh was perving on Jade when out of nowhere a massive rock dropped on his head crushing him...the evil cackling of the SB witches was heard...but no one cared enough to investigate his death !!! The general opinion was he deserved to die for his crimes against fashion and good taste!!

Noah introduced Jade to the weed and got her so stoned that she forgot about sex, they were heard giggling and munching chocolate into the early hours ..is Jade off sex and into drugs ??!!

Rhys and Beth have taken over running the diner because Kane , the son Rhys never had is too busy with the little kiddies , will their relationship work this time??!!

Date: 08/10/03 - Author: Wanda

C51

The producers of BB call a snap eviction vote midweek, to deal with the Sebrina crisis. Unsurprisingly, she is evicted from the house with a world record 99% of the vote. However, several agencies who deal with insomniacs see that Sebrina is as boring as and recruit her in the plan to bore their clients to sleep – is this Sebrina’s true calling?

The multinationals, having seen fast food place after fast food place destroyed, set bobby traps around one of the outlets not yet hit. This time, they are successful in nabbing Alf & his mates – what will happen to the vigilante war vets?

Dani decided to use that straw to blow poisonous darts at people. Her 1st few attempts at shooting (and killing) people failed, but the she stuck gold when her latest shot fatally infected Josh with a disease, which agonisingly killed him. Now that her aim is better, who will Dani go for next? Is anyone safe?

The enrollment rate at SBH is so astronomical that Sally & Kirsty asked Pammy to rtn to teaching. Pammy, who is always willing to help others, agrees, as she knows the animals in the zoo are in Tasha’s safe hands. Pammy’s rtn helps the school greatly, but several SBH students have gone missing. Is Sally bad to her old (killing) ways?

Jade realised she loves drugs WAY more than sex. She becomes the number 1 client of all the drug running countries of the world. Jade can pay for all her drugs and chocolate munchies with all the money she gained from being a porn star. The drugg cartels aren’t happy that she CAN pay (as they love getting all that interest from lending people money to buy their product). What will the drugs cartels do to their best customer?

Rhys & Beth are uneasy around each other, partic befcause they both have different culinary ideas for the diner, but a playful Kane starts a food fight in the kitchen (kirsty & their twins join in) and Rhys (who praised the son he never had) and Beth realised they REAALY REALLY REALLY loved each other.

Shelley, whose own engagement has crumbled, heard about rhys & beth and headed for the Bay. What is her plan?

Date: 09/10/03 - Author: JosieTash

C52

Sebrina is so pleased to have found something she is good at , even if it is just boring people to sleep. Unfortunately this little boost to her ego renders her the teeniest bit less boring and she is sacked. Her fragile ego is again shattered and the poodle-headed lady boy returns crying to Summer Bay , where as usual every one ignores her. She comes across Josh , who tries to wheedle his way into a friendship , but Sebrina irritates him so much that he attacks her. Luckily for Sebrina our resident hero Kane sees this viscious attack and rescues her. He punches Josh who runs off crying , unfortunately he failed to see the edge of the cliff and fell several hundred feet , crushing every bone in his body.Our hero climbed down to see if he could help , but it was too late and Josh died in agony !!!

Alf and the vietnam vets were due in court , luckily for Alf his easily corruptable sister was the presiding judge ...she agreed to let them off , but what does she want in return??!!

Dani turned up at the school , she aimed her poison dart at Pammy , but luckily it hit an ugly kid instead . The ugly kid died , but it was no great loss!! Dani ran off whining and moaning, she is hiding , but where??!!

Jade and Noah are fighting a campaign to legalise drugs , the drugs bosses do not want them to succeed because regulation would do away with their monopoly and extortion rings. Have Jade and Noah put themselves in danger??!!

Beth and Rhys are enjoying a blissful loving relationship when an unexpected visitor rocks the boat ...Shelley is back , and she declares that she wants Rhys back ...what happens next??!!

Date: 09/10/03 - Author: Wanda

[JosieTash]

belgshep, that's ironic about your dad.

here's the next 3 chapters -

C53

Sebrina is now TOTALLY infatuated with Kane, who’s been receiving all these anonymous love notes. Kane thinks they’re from a playful Kirsty, but Sebrina thinks Kane knows they’re from her – what will happen when Sebrina reveals to Kane that she responsible for the secret notes?

Morag (and her partner in crime Angie) want to get their hands of Hayley’s alien triplets (to do experiments on them) but what plan has Alf got up his sleeve so he doesn’t have to kidnap Hayley & Jesse’s kids?

Dani hid in the school’s broom closet where she found the bodies of several students that Sally has killed. Dani told Sally she’d dob her into the cops if she doesn’t help her with plans to kill Pammy. What will Sally do?

Jade and Noah realise that the drug cartels have sent gunmen after them, so Jade (as clued as she is) decided to tale advantage of Josh who had been pestering her to have sex with him. Jade agreed to Josh’s request, but only if (before the deed) he pretends to be her (in looks, clothes, voice etc) when she has to attend pro-drugs rallies etc. Unsurprisingly, Jade doesn’t have to sleep with the slimy pig as a sniper kills him during his 1st assignment as her. As a footnote to this, everyone in the bay (who ALL knew Jade’s plan) couldn’t believe that Josh had clothes on that didn’t require them to call the fashion police.

Rhys tells Shelley to rack off, but Beth has an instant attraction to Rhys’ ex. Beth tells Shelley her feelings, and Shelley reveals that it was love at 1st sight when she saw Beth. Rhys is shocked when he sees Shelley & Beth passionately kissing.

What will happen next?

Date: 10/10/03 - Author: JosieTash

C54

Kind hearted Kane does not want to hurt Sebrina's feelings , but the deformed lady-boy is so nauseating that even he can't stomach to be near the freak. He asks Uncle Alf to have a quiet word with her. In his usual tactful and diplomatic way Alf tells Sebrina that she is flaming deranged if she thinks anyone will ever fancy her , especially a hunky hero like Kane who has Kirsty. Sebrina bursts into tears and vows her revenge on Kane and Alf but is too wussy to do anything about it except whinge to Jade , who gets bored and tells him to rack off !! Who will Sebrina persue next ??!!

Alf arranges to meet Angie and Morag at the school. As they wait for him to arrive Sally invites them into her office for a coffee...will Sally's enormous breasts be put to good use at last??!!

Jade and Noah bump into an old friend, Leah , deranged on speed and crack cocaine she asks them for a fix. Her voice gets more and more shrill as her desperation grows , so to avoid their eardrums being permanently shattered they agree. Josh overhears and intercepts their package to Leah. He takes the drugs and dies of a massive overdose. What will the deranged Leah do without her fix??!!

Beth and Shelley decline Rhys's offer of a threesome , he is devastated , will he win back Beth's heart from Shelley??!!

Date: 12/10/03 Author - Wanda

C55

Sebrina wants someone – anyone – to love her so she pretended to REALLY like soccer and asked Alex to teach her how to play. After a few coaching sessions, Sebrina tells Alex she wants to sleep with him. Will Sebrina become ANOTHER knotch in Alex’s belt?

Angie & Morag were feeling great that the secrets on the alien triplets would be theirs. Inded they were SOOO distracted that Sally was able to kill Morag (by smothering her betwwen her ample breats) before Angie could stop her. Angie tried to use her magic on Sally, but Sal’s well-endowed chest acted like a shield against Miss Russell’s powers. Angie then ran from the office, with Sally in hot pursuit. Will Sal be able to "take out" the evil Miss Russell?

Jade & Noah are able to supply Leah with some more drugs, but it’s not enough so Leah hires a chainsaw from the local hardware store. She then goes to Josh’s hotel room at the Sands Resort and cut him into a 40 pieces. She then eats all of the pieces (and the hope there’s some of her drugs in his system). There’s not – and Noah & Jade can’t supply her for another 2 days. What will Leah do to get her next fix?

Rhys thinks that because Beth is a fan of the Sydney Swans Aussie Rules football team that he can woo her to making a comeback to the sport YEARS after his retirement. Beth seems impressed. How will Shelley react? And will Rhys’ comeback be a success?

Dani decided that Pammy is too strong an opponent from her, but the murderous intent is still there. She decides that the killing should begin at home and sets her sights on Jade.

No one’s seen or heard from Irene for a week. Where is she?

Date: 13/10/03 Author- JosieTash

[JosieTash]

I'm glad you're enjoying it, Jackieleanne !!!

Yeah, belgshep, we were "slightly" off there !!! hehehehehehehe

here's som more CLASSIC madness

56

Alex decides to add Sebrina to his list of conquests, but insists she puts a bag over her head first. Unfortunately due to taking too many steroids in a pathetic attempt to emulate David Beckham, Alex fails to rise to the occasion. Naturally Sebrina blames herself and her self esteem plunges even further ...what will our pathetic lady-boy do now??!!

The evil Angie escapes and hides out in a disused farmhouse, where she practices her dark craft on the animals. She turns a cow into a carnivorous man-eating beast. Josh knocks on the farmhouse door, having run out of petrol near-by ...he doesn't stand a chance the mad cow beast attacks him and tears him to shreds while Angie looks on with a sly look on her face...what is she planning??!!

Leah is getting more and more desperate, in a bid to obtain drugs she goes to the local hoodlum Mr. X whose identity has been a secret for years. She begs him for drugs, she even agrees to sell VJ to the evil man ...she thinks she recognizes his voice ...or is her mind playing tricks ...the evil drugs baron is none other than Flynn Saunders, respected doctor and friend to all. Just then the evil gangsters moll walks in , she sits on his lap and says , ''fancy a cuppa, dahl?'...Leah instantly recognises Irene's voice .....what will Leah do with this shocking information , and will anyone believe her or want to listen to her??!!

Rhys did sooo well at the footie trials that he was picked for the team , Beth is sooo proud , but Shelley is seething, she enlists her eldest daughters help in destroying Beth, Dani readily agrees and they begin plotting.What will Shelley do next??!!

Jade unaware of her narrow escape from her evil sister goes to meet her twin and her lovely brother-in-law,Kane the brother she never had , they are concerned for Dani's mental state and the three consider sending her to a shrink , but Shelley stops them. Can anything stop Dani's madness ??!!

Date: 13/10/03 Author: Wanda

57

Sebrina decided the only way she’s ever going to loose her virginity is via a brothel. The manager suggested that Seb would need to be pay $1,000,000 dollars as she is SOOOO ugly. What is Sebrina’s plan to get her hands on that kind of money?

Angie plans to use the to kill Sally, Rhys, Kane, Kirsty & Jade. She transforms the cow back to normal and goes to Sally’s place. She offers Sal the cow as a gift. Sally is very suspicious but accepts the cow just to get Angie out of her face. What Sally doesn’t know if that Angie has put a spell of the cow - if someone in audio range of the bovine says the word milk, the cow will change into the beast that killed Josh. Will Sally say the magic word?

Leah can’t believe that Flynn is a drug runner who is in league with Irene but she doesn’t care. As long as they can supply her with the "good stuff" she needs, she doesn't care. She does, however, mention it to Alf (whilst in a drug addles state). What will Alf do about drug baron Flynn (and his mole Irene) ?

Dani & Shelley plan to re unite Beth with her late hubby by killing her. Their plan is blow up the football stadium where Rhys has his comeback match. Shelley initially thinks killing everyone at the game (but just Beth)(is wrong, but Dani talks her 'round. Will anyone discover their plan? and be able to stop it?

Jade, having realised kane is a wonderful guy after all, decides to buy the happy couple an expansive gift. Will Dani sabotage Jade's surprise?

Prime Minister Kit decides to check out Hayley's home planet. What incredibly strange thing will she find there? Is it a way to stop the likes of Angie & Dani once and for all?

Date: 14/10/03 Author: JosieTash

58

Desperate and sexually frustrated Sebrina begs Uncle Alf for help with a loan , but he advises her to go out and earn it. She knows she could never earn enough so decides to find Angie and offer to be her spy. Arrogant Angie laughs at the ugly lady boy suggesting she could be of no use to her. Ever more depressed and desperate the sad loser goes to see her local kindly doctor unaware of the evil double life he leads. Whilst appearing to look sympathetic and trying not to laugh at the lady-boys ridiculous hat, Flynn is really plotting how to use Sebrina in his dastardly drugs dealing.... What has he in store for our resident loser??!!

Whilst everyone is out at work Josh walks past Sally's place. He sees her enormous bra hanging on the washing line and cannot resist the temptation to curl up in it and use it as a hammock. He lies there swinging fondly reminiscing about his childhood, ...''round about now the maid would bring me a large cold refreshing glass of MILK'' , he says to himself...unfortunately the bewitched cow-beast was within distance and exploded killing him !! Angie ofcourse was furious that the cow had been 'wasted' in this way....What will she do now ??!!

Kane , his adorable twins , Kirsty and the rest of Rhys 's friends all come to watch the game. Kane spots Dani and Shelley in the crowd and becomes suspicious.He listens in on their conversation and discovers where they have hidden copious amounts of explosives . At great risk to his own personal safety , our hero renders the explosives useless, he has only seconds to spare as he reaches the last bomb ......will our hero save the day or will everyone be killed by Shelley and Dani ??!!

Jade knowing that Kane's true vocation has always been to own and captain his own boat has bought him a lovely boat as a present. Dani sneaked on board during the previous night and drilled holes through the bottom. If Kane survives the bomb blast will his luck run out when he sets sail , will Dani eventually succeed in her evil plan to destroy him ??!!

Kit sends a message back to her saintly hubby on earth Scotty P , she sounds excited about her discovery , but he senses danger and warns her to be careful ...what has Kit discovered and is it safe??!!

Date: 14/10/03 Author: Wanda

[JosieTash]

i have to say that i laughed the most when Josh used sally's bra as a hammock !!!

here's latest trio -

59

Flynn decides the use Sebrina as a guinea pig for all of the latest highly illegal (and potent) drugs he’s dealing. Sebrina accepts, as the payments (if she doesn’t die) are enormous. Alf, who isn’t sure about Leah’s talk of Flynn being a drug runner, confronts the doctor. Flynn thinks his game is up, but Alf says he’ll keep quiet if Flynn gives Sebrina a drugs that will 100% definitely kill the lady-boy. Will Flynn agree to Alf’s plan?

Angie is SOOOOOOO pissed off that josh ruined her plan that she thought of THE most evil way to kill the posh upstart. She used her magic to freeze him. She then shrinks him to the size of a standard chocolate bar. Finally, whilst thinking of ways to kill Sally and others, she ate Josh for afternoon tea. He tasted horrible, but Angie loved eating him anyway.

Whilst Rhys was starring in his comeback match for the Swans, Kane JUST got to the last explosive in time. Whilst all this was going on, Kirsty wondered why Kane was missing the game. He returned to his seat beside her soon after. Because he is shy, and hated being lauded as the hero, he didn’t say anything about the explosives – he instead came back with a bunch of roses for the love of his life.

Jade, who knows all to well how much Dani hates Kane, follows her sister everywhere and is able to repair the damage to the boat, with Pammy’s help. But Kane’s not out of the woods yet. Mountainously, stormy seas quickly arise on Kane & Kirsty’s 1st voyage. Will Kane be able keep the boat afloat during such difficult weather? Is the storm a force of nature, or has it been created by someone who wants Kirsty & Kane to meet a watery end?

Kit has discovered a creature, called an Alrac, which can sense any evil thoughts, no matter how large or small. Once the evil is detected, the Alrac will attack & kill any person who has even the tiniest wicked notion. Will Scotty P be able to convince her NOT to bring the Alrac with her when she returns to Earth?

Date: 15/10/03 Author: JosieTash

60

Flynn's drugs experiments don't exactly go to plan.Instead of killing the lady-boy they render him hornier than ever. Sebrina escapes and tries to shag everything in sight, but only succeeds with inanimate objects, even passing kangaroos reject her. She spies Josh sleeping in his car and climbs in trying to have sex without waking him. Josh wakes up and is so disgusted he throws the lady boy out of the car and in a panic drives off at high speed. He crashes the car and dies a slow lingering death trapped in the wreckage. Sebrina slopes off to find her next victim....will Sebrina's lust drive her to further crimes ??!!

Kane valiantly battles the storm, his bravery and skill save the day and tired and weary Kirsty and Kane sail back to Summer Bay. Rhys, Jade and everyone else are over joyed to see them back safe and sound , but someone isn't so pleased.....is our hero to face more danger??!!

Kit listens to her clever , compassionate husband , but she has a strong will of her own ...will the Alrac come to SB with Kit when she returns??!!

Leah is becoming more demented as her drug ravaged brain becomes more diseased. Fearing for VJ's safety kind and saintly Scotty P agrees to adopt him....how will Kit react??!!

Shelley and Dani continue to plan Rhys and Beth's downfall...what dastardly plan do they have up their sleeve now...??!!

Date: 15/10/03 Author: Wanda

61

Sebrina uses her drug induced strength to kidnap Pammy’s hunky man, Scott H. She ties him up and continually girly slaps him in a bid to get him to get him to agree with her. Will anyone be able to save Scott H, or will the torture only stop when he agrees to sleep with lady-boy?

The erratic Dani has REALLY got in for Kane. She wished she had killed him that day when she thought she hit a kangaroo. Indeed, she makes a deal with Angie, who agrees to turn Kane into a ‘roo that Dani can run down. Will Angie succeed, and what is her price for helping Dani?

Kit decides to bring the creature back with her – in her mind, most people on Earth NEVER think badly of others. During the journey to Earth, the lone pilot of the spaceship is annoyed at the relatively slack performance of the craft’s engines. The Alrac senses this and kills the pilot. Is Kit doomed, or will someone on board be able the flat the ship?

Before the Alrac trouble, Kit thinks Scotty P’s idea is a great one. She even tells him she’d like to have a baby of her own when she returns. Scotty P is over the moon – a child of his own. Will anyone take advantage of him being distracted by the good news?

Dani ditches Shelley to concentrate on Kane. Shelley won’t give up on causing pain to Rhys & Beth. She arranges for an opposing player to hurt Rhys badly during his next Aussie Rules game whilst she decides to take on Beth herself. She puts an anaconda in the boot of Beth’s car, but the penniless Josh (whilst searching for a warm place to sleep the night) breaks into Beth’s vehicle and is strangled to death by the giant snake. Shelley is fuming that her anaconda plan failed, but will her plan to hurt Rhys still be successful?

When Jade stops speaking to everyone, they think she’s just being childish, but is she really mute?

Date: 16/10/03 Author: JosieTash