CLASSIC Twisted Tales

[JosieTash]

it's been a couple of days - but i'm back (work commitments yesterday etc) ..... and, becasue of that, there'll be TWO extra chapters today !!!!

belgshep, reagarding Kimmy's super powers, remenber that this was written when he 1st joined the show - and wasn't really as annoying as he is now (and back then we thought that his acting was just the usual early days bad stuff - but kimmy hasn't really grown out of that !!!!

LOVED the dani comments ...... and those about Sally's "bub" !!!!

236

Beth refuses to help Max and Shelley ...so they lock her in a room with Henry and Tilly ...just as Beth thinks she cannot stand the torture of spending time with the bratty twins for a moment longer ,Rhys sets them free. Beth is about to rush into his loving arms , grateful for being rescued when she sees that he is totally ignoring her , seemingly being more concerned for Tilly's well-being. Beth is livid that Rhys seems more bothered about Tilly than herself. Rhys and Tilly then go off together .....Beth follows to see what they are up to .....what does she see??!!

Hyde is livid that all copies of the ''Mass Murderers of the World Weekly'' has been ruined .... he so enjoys reading up on gruesome killings at bedtime!!!The sexy calender is a huge success , becoming a world wide best seller ...and Fi is able to rebuild her tennis centre ...both she and Lleyton are soooo happy!!

Angie's voices are becoming stronger, the urge to be evil is growing ....she decides to vent her evilness in a safe way and goes in search of posh Josh and his loser boyfriend. She sees them by the surfclub ....Josh is putting pretty ribbons in Sebs growing 'fro hair , and kissing him. Sickened by this repulsive sight Angie approaches them stealthily , but just as she gets within reach of them a small childs beach ball floats across the beach and hits Seb gently on the head. This shatters his fragile skull and the shock instantly kills posh Josh!!!!!

''I killed Josh West '' said the beach ball!!

''You LEGEND'' said a nearby frizbee.

Angie is livid , she NEEDS to be evil ....what does she do??!!

Kim makes it clear that his super powers can only be used for good reasons and not to help evil. This counts out helping Shelley and Max ...fuming they stamp off determined to rid themselves of their nappies whatever it takes!! What can they do now??!!

Sally has been stealing the little medals she is giving to Kane and spending hours polishing them ....Flynn is at a loss what to do. Kane sugests he refuses to accept them ...but how will Sally react??!!

Gypsy wants the selfish Dani back ...but no one else does ... she tries to tempt her into being selfish but to no avail ...will Gypsy turn her back or is it the end for this couple??!!

Silly Scott Hunter has spent weeks trying to remember where he left the money , but he is too stupid ...will he ever remember??!!

Date: 21/02/04 Author : Wanda

237

Beth is rather shocked to see Rhys & Tilly building life size sand sculptures of NUDE men, women, girls & boys on the beach. Beth could see the both her husband AND her daughter partic enjoyed crafting the private parts of each of their creations. Beth kind of liked that rhys & tilly had become so close, but thought that Tilly was too young to scupting such artworks. Beth then confronted both Rhys & Tilly. Her daughter said that the human body is a beautiful thing, and should be celebrate in all forms. Beth then went off in a huff, and didn't leave any dinner for Rhys & Tilly when they got home.

The next day, when rhys & Tilly went to finish the latest creations, they discovered their sculptures had been destroyed. Rhys instantly thinks beth is responsible, but Tilly isn't so sure. Who's the culprit?

After the calendar is SUCH a success, the media partic focuses on the pic for the month of June, which features Jesse, Wanda, Danusia, UK Leah, Joe & Yan. Why is the such interest in the photo?

Hyde decides that if he can't READ about mass murderers then he'll have to become one himself. he decides to pick a VERY easy target for starters - saddo seb & posh josh. AS the pair skip hand in hand, Hyde throws a dart at each of them. the darts puncture each of the loosers lungs, and they die.

"We killed joah & seb" said the darts"

"You LEGENDS", replied a nearby mail box.

Hyde then sets his sights on another target - Robbie Hunter. Is this the end of the oddball genius?

Angie tries to control her urges to be evil by doing things that are bad, but don't REALLY hurt ppl, like going to places like the diner & surf club COMPLETELY naked, and "borrowing" stationery from the public high school. This seams to quell her thoughts of doing REAL, terrible evil for a while, but Angie knows it's a matter of when, not if, she'll do something TRULY horrid again. Angie asks Tasha, Mark & Jade for their opinions. WHat do they say?

As Max goes into the bush to gather a whole heap of leaves & flowers from native plant life - with the hope of concocting a cure for the incontinence problem he & his aunt still face, Shelley decides to ring Josh's reporter mum. Rhys' ex tells Jackie West about Kim's super powers. Will Josh's mum believe Shelley? and will Max's concoction mean now more nappies for he & Shelley?

Sally doesn't care that kane refuses them. SHe just keeps on stealing the medals, meticulously polishing them and leaving them on the doorstep of the KK house. This isn't really a problem for Kane (as he, Kirsty & Fi can them take the medals back to where sally "borrowed" them from).

Things, however, got serious one morning when KK's daughter Kennedy gor adventurous one morning. Because Sally had put the medal through to slot that kane the night before installed in the front floor, kennedy was able to pick it up. He put it in her mouth and began to choke. Kane heard his daughter and raced to her. He wa able to remove the object from her throat, but was beside himself that something like this could happen. So as Kirsty took Kennedy to see Flynn, Kane confronted Sally (Fi stayed at the KK house and looked after Kaleb). What's Sally's reaction when she hears what happened to little Kennedy?

Dani agrees to go for a drive with Gypsy (on the promise that there are some less well off ppl that dani can help in a nearby town). When they arrive at the run down town, Gyspy surprises Dani by slapping her in the face the moment they stop the car. Gypsy KNOWS that Dani has reverted back to her normal self when her soul mate says "What are we doing in the dump of a place. There'd better be some GREAT clothes shops, or i'm SOOOOOOOOO outta here".

Gyspy then kissed Dani (it turned into a VERY long, french kiss - enjoyed by both of the foxy women) as everything was right with her world again.

But what happens when the sexy lesbians rtn to the Bay - and everyone discovers that whiney, selfish Dani is back?

As silly scoot continues to rack his (very small) brain about the money, Alf makes a discovery on the blaxland. Mr Stewart then confronts silly scott about some repairs that he make to the boat. alf wonders why scott used several $100 notes to try and seal a leak in one of the hoses in the boat's engine.

All the while (unbeknownst to silly scoot), Tilly & joe have put a listening device in his hair, and have heard the whole repairs convo. Will they be able to get their money back, before alf takes it the cops ?

Date: 22/02/04 Author : JosieTash

238

Rhys accused Beth of destroying the sculptures. She was livid , esp. since she knew that Henry , jealous of Rhys's closeness with his twin , was the real culprit. When she forced Henry to admit his guilt , by boxing him with Jack's old boxing gloves , Rhys was mortified and tried to make up with Beth. Will Beth forgive him ...and will Henry be punished??!!

The family picture of Jesse , Wanda and her kids attracts sooo much media attention , no one can believe just how beautiful this family is ....and their amazing talents have attracted interest world-wide. The family however want to remain private so along with their adopted daughter Fi they hide out at K/K's house until the media frenzy dies down. Kirsty and Kane greet them with huge hugs and make them feel sooo wellcome. They are so grateful when Wanda intervenes in the Sally situation. Since reasoning with the neurotic teacher hasn't helped she tells her a few home truths ...this does the trick and Sally goes to seek help from the wise and saintly Scotty P ....can this wonderful man help her??!!

Angie is walking along the beach when she sees the remains of one of the sand sculptures , she kicks it and some grains of sand are caught on the sea breeze and float down the beach. The grains of sand hit posh Josh and Seb in the face and they collapse from the impact, both dying as they hit the soft ground.

''We killed Josh West !!!'' said the grains of sand.

''You LEGENDS!!'' said a drop of sea water.

Angie continued on her way ...she saw Hyde in the distance approaching Robbie. He hit Robbie over the head and put him in a sack weighted down with bricks with the intention of drowning him. Angie ran up to Hyde and karate kicked him in the head and released Robbie. Although she did it to spite Hyde , rather than to save Robbie , people hailed her a heroine. She now knew how to control her urges to do evil ...she would stop others having fun commiting evil acts ...thus venting her own badness and becoming accepted by the bay !!! Will Angie live down her reputation??!!

Jackie West laughs at Shelleys sugestions that Kimmy has super powers ...Shelley is livid and her bad mood does not improve when the rat laughs at Max's pathetic efforts to find a cure for their incontinence ...''only I know the secret '' taunts the rat !! What will Shelley and Max do now??

Bitchy Dani sees Alf and Scott H on the Blaxland , and demands that they pay her full attention ...but they are trying to solve the mystery of the lost money , so they ignore her. Dani throws a spazzy fit and Gypsy is unable to calm her down.

''Look at me,me,me!!!!'' she shouts.

The Bay residents come to see what the commotion is about ...and demand that Dani shut up ...what will the primma donna princess do next??

Date: 23/02/04 Author : Wanda

239

Beth asks Rhys to prove his love for her. She tells him to write a soppy love song to her - which he must sing, in front of everyone, in the diner. As part of the lyrics of the song, Beth insisted that Rhys tells everyone (in intimate detail) of their awesomely kinky love making sessions. Will Rhys agree?

Beth, meanwhile, punishes henry in the harshest POSSIBLE way. She handcuffs him to the still VEY incontinent Max. Henry can’t believe that his mum could be THIS cruel.

Henry, despite his hatred for the poison dwarf, decided to form an alliance with max - and, therefore, Shelley. Now, if Henry can rid the pair of their incontinence, they MUST help him gain revenge on Beth. The poison dwarf and Shelley realise that henry is MUCH brainier than they are, and although he isn’t as smart as Robbie isn’t, henry mixes together a series of chemicals. Max & Shelley then drink henry’s concoction, and both are TOTALLY relieved when they don’t soil their nappies after they consume the potion.

A half an hr later, having not urinated in that time, Max & Shelley remove their nappies. They pair then begin to plot, with Henry, against Beth.

Then something happened to both Shelley & Max. Suddenly, somehow, Max has the private parts of his aunt (incl. her breasts) despite still looking (mostly) like a boy, whilst Shelley now had no breasts and Max's genitals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Both are LIVID with henry. What will the poison dwarf & the world’s worst mum do now?

Joe enjoyed watching his gf creating sand sculptures (esp when she let him trash the one she wasn’t happy with), what he didn’t know is that Tilly was developing feelings for her step dad.

Tilly decided to write some sexy notes to Rhys (but did them in a way that Rhys would think that Beth had written them). The notes suggested to Rhys to come to their (Rhys/Beth) bedroom for a night of TOTAL passion.

After Tilly distracted Beth (by telling her about what henry had done to max & Shelley), Miss Hunter went to their mum’s bedroom. After Tilly entered the room, she removed her top & skirt, and lay on the bed - dressed only in her underwear. Tilly heart beat that little bit faster as she heard footsteps and just KNEW that the man she’d fallen for was just about to open the bedroom door.

Rhys is shocked, but a little turned on, by the sight of his stepdaughter in her underwear. Tilly then tells Rhys that she’s in love with him. Will Rhys cheat on Beth with her own daughter?

Saintly Scotty P convinces Sally to stop stealing the medals etc, and for a while, Miss Fletcher does (stop), but 19 months later, a medal appears on the doorstep of the KK house.

Saintly Scotty P then consults his great friend Pammy, before he talks to Sally again. Saintly Scotty then tells Miss Fletcher that Pammy has put a spell on her - if sally steals another medal, she’ll be turned into a living statue!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will this new measure prevent the busty teacher from stealing EVER again?

Several bayside residents can’t believe when Angie (of all ppl) speaks to them about doing "bad" things, like littering, but Miss Russell doesn’t care because she’s now SOOOOOOO determined to do only good from now on (even if it means no more going the diner naked).

Things however don’t as well as planned. Several summer Bay residents just won’t accept that Angie have turned over a new leaf. Not even the spt of the likes of Alf, Scotty P, Kane, Kirsty, Fi, Jesse, Wanda, Pammy, Mark, Jade and Angie’s own daughter Tasha will convince ppl such as Colleen, Shelley & Greek Leah that Miss Russell is now on the side of good. Is there anyway Angie will be able to change ppl’s mind about her?

Posh Josh decided to tell his mummy about his new lover, saddo Seb. Just before josh is about to tell the woman who gave birth to him the (good?) news, Jackie sneezed. Several of the tiny snot particles that deflected off Josh’s mum’s handkerchief hit josh & Seb. Both instantly fell to the ground, and died.

"I killed Josh & Seb", said Jackie’s sneeze.

"You LEGEND", replied her mobile phone.

As Dani continued to make a complete nuisance of herself - even complaining about the increase on the price in gridiron football helmets (which she’ll never in a million years even contemplate buying), Gypsy decides that the best way to keep her soul mate form talking (and annoying the hell out of EVERYONE) is to kiss her DDG lover. Gypsy LOVES pashing Dani (and vice versa), but just how long can the redhead keep on kissing her lover?

It is the middle of the night and Joe goes to get the $1000 that Silly Scott had used to fix the boat. As Wanda’s son goes to get the money, Alf grabs him. Joe gets the fright of his life. Mr Stewart tell Wanda’s son that he will let Joe have the money back - if the mischievous teen helps Alf in his quest to have sex with the woman Mr Stewart has fallen head over heals in love with, Angela Russell!!!!!! Will Joe agree to help Alf?

Date: 23/02/04 Author : JosieTash

240

Rhys sings his lurid and terribly off key love-song and is promptly banned from the diner for life by Alf ....will Alf relent and lift the ban??!!

Max keeps toppling over as he is unused to the weight of his new boobs and Shelley cannot get the hang of standing up to pee....Beth finds their predicament so amusing that she removes Henry's handcuffs and spends three minutes quality time with him as his reward!! Shelley is furious that not only has Beth come out of this whole incontinence business unscathed , but she has also won Rhys's affection and is really rubbing Shelley and Max's noses in it and laughing at them. Shelley decides to get revenge on Beth. She notices Tilly's crush on Rhys ...Beth ofcourse hasn't noticed because she ignores her children ...and despite the fact that Rhys has made it very clear that he is NOT interested in his far too young step-daughter , Shelley writes notes to Tilly forging Rhys's handwriting....encouraging Tilly to think that something might happen. Shelley's cunning plan is to make Beth believe that the affair is real and not simply a schoolgirl fantasy ....will she succeed??!!

Fi senses that Sally is being framed for the theft of the medal ...she follows greek Leah from the diner , obviously wearing ear-plugs to prevent deafness from Leah's shrieky voice. She sees Leah leaving a shiny medal on K/K's doorstep. Fi tells Kirsty who gives her a big hug ....but why is Leah doing this??

Angie being good is actually now becoming more of a problem then when she was bad ..no one can relax when she is around as she takes so much pleasure in policing the bay for any infringements or indiscresions commited , however innocently. She buys an ancient copy of the by-laws of Summer Bay and studies it avidly ,she is hell bent on enforcing every law ever passed no matter how bizzarre , out of date or obsolete ....who is her first target and what law is being broken??!!

Joe agrees to help Alf in his quest for Angies love ...well that kid'll do ANYTHING for money!!....he tells Alf that the best way to get Angie to notice him would be a grande gesture ...what does he sugest Alf does??!!

Dani is moaning and stropping over every little thing , except when Gypsy is kissing her. However Gypsy's lips are chaffing at the huge amount of time spent shutting Dani up. She decides that a very sticky , chewy sweet might give her some reprieve from kissing duties. She unwraps a toffee and pops it in Dani's mouth. Dani's teeth are stuck together and she can't talk , moan or whinge. Meanwhile the toffee wrapper misses the bin that Gypsy was aiming at when she threw it and hits the repulsive couple , Josh and Seb , knocking them off the pavement right in front of the Yabbie Creek bus. The driver was going to apply his brakes , but on seeing who he was going to hit he didn't bother. Josh and Seb died moaning in the road , bleeding to death from their horrific injuries.

''I killed Josh West!'' said the Yabbie Creek bus.

''You LEGEND'' said the bus driver and the toffee wrapper.

As much as she chewed Dani could not open her mouth ...how long will this blessed peace last??!!

Date: 24/02/04 Author : Wanda

241

After Rhys is banned, all the Sutherlands, Hunters, their spouses (like Kane, Mark & Tash) & friends (Fi, Jesse, Wanda and her kids etc) boycott the diner. Alf tried to stick to his guns, but with ALL those customers now NOT coming to the diner, the place begins to loose money VERY fast.

Will Alf let Rhys back in the diner? Or will Mr Stewart go ahead with another thought - turn the place into a ritzy 5 star restaurant complete with a highly paid French chef?

Both Shelley & Max arrange to have surgery at the local hospital to correct what had happened to them, but when the surgeons attempt to change the 2 back to normal, they discover that some weird force is preventing them from proceeding.

Nothing the doctors try will work, so Shelley & Max then go to hospitals & clinics all over the world, but the same thing happens everytime - the mystical force even prevents the surgeons from giving Shelley fake breasts (so she remains flat chested).

The two then realise they’re stuck like this forever, so Shelley gives max all of her bras AND her female sanitary products. The bras help Max, who now doesn’t topple over nearly as much.

When the pair enquires about which public/school toilets they should enter, it is deemed that Shelley is still to go in the ladies’ bathrooms, whilst max will continue to use the men’s loos. This brings about something max hadn’t thought of - all the other schoolboys (not surprisingly) like looking at his breasts, but what happens when a yr 12 boy wants to do more than just look at the poison dwarf’s boobs?

Shelley is slowing getting used to urinating like a guy. Indeed she likes the advantage of being able to "go" (standing up) everywhere she likes - partic when she’s on a bush walk.

Mid way through a walk, Shelley realises she needs to relieve herself, so she urinates against a tree.

Several of the minute pee particles are carried by the light breeze. These particles hit saddo Seb & posh josh in the back of the head, and cause the 2 losers to fall into the river, where they drown.

"I killed Seb & josh", said Shelley’s pee.

"You LEGEND" replied the tree the brestless woman relieved herself on.

Things were going well for Shelley on another front. Her plans against Beth actually seem to be working, as the brazen Tilly just LOVES leaving the notes "Rhys" wrote to her (incl. 1 in which he promises to sleep with Tilly) just lying around - for ALL to see.

Beth can’t believe that her hubby could take advantage of her daughter like that, but Beth decides to NOT speak to either Rhys or Tilly - she is just SOOOO upset with both of them.

Will Beth find the courage to confront her husband & her daughter about the affair she thinks they’re having behind her back?

Fi tells Sally what has happened, and the pair of them (unable to stand the sound of Greek Leah’s shrill voice) asks Pammy to call upon the ghost of Vinnie to visit his wife and see why she is causing sally SOOO much trouble.

Vinnie agrees, and speaks to Greek Leah. She tells him that it’s because Sally ate her "baby" rather than sacrifice her OWN life so the child might live, as ALL mothers should do.

Vinnie then reminded his wife that the "bub" was ONLY a tuna sandwich. This INFURIATED Leah even further.

"ONLY a tuna sandwich. I slaved in a hot kitchen for hours to make that sandwich and you say ONLY", Greek Leah screamed. Vinnie then floats away as he can’t put up with his wife’s whining.

Leah then goes to the diner, and not only does she ask each and every customer about how much they enjoyed the food she cooked but she straps each patron to a lie detector before she questions them about her culinary creations. The customers love Greek Leah’s food, but will the lie detector turn them off going to the diner?

Jade, Mark & Tasha are surprised when Angie performs a citizen’s arrest on them as they walk hand in hand down the street. Angie tells the sexy trio "By-law number 15, sub section 12, of the Summer Bay rules & laws of 1895 states that any group of 2 or so ppl shall NOT walk down the street with their bodies bound together in any form, as it may block the path of other citizens. The punishment is a night in the local watch house for each guilty party."

Mark & his wives couldn’t believe watch they were hearing, but what will Constable Corelli say when Angie arrives at the police station with the lawbreakers?

Alf decides that because Angie is TOTALLY into doing the right thing that the grandest gesture he could think of is to capture the evilest man in the world, Osama Bib Laden. Alf tells Angie his plan, and she says that she WILL make love to him for the rest of their lives AND became his wife - if he catches the master terrorist.

With thoughts of bedding Angie is his head, will Alf be able to do what the "coalition of the willing" has failed to do in the 2-½ years the day which SHOOK the world (Sept 11, 2001)?

Dani finally breaks free of the lolly that had been stooping her from talking (read whining). But Gypsy is prepared for her soul mate’s barrage of words. Indeed, the sexy redhead now plans to stop dani from being in nuisance to EVERYONE else by having her soul mate complaining about her ALL the time.

Gypsy does things like wearing totally uncoordinated outfits in public, not doing her hair, badly applying her make up, wearing clothes than prevent Dani from seeing as much of Gypsy’s body as is legally allowed (Dani LOVES looking her soul mate’s baud) AND even saying no to Dani’s VERY many requests to touch Gypsy’s private parts (esp her breasts) & have sex with her. The redhead’s plan appears to be working - NO ONE else in the Bay is complaining to her about Dani’s whining, but how much more of her lover’s "princess-itis" can Gypsy take?

Date: 25/02/04 Author : JosieTash

242

The diner is losing business fast ...what with Rhys's ban and Leah's interrogation of the customers. Alf decides that he must lift the ban on Rhys and somehow occupy Leahs thoughts elsewhere ...so that he can go off to find Bin Laden without having to worry about the diner.What does he give Leah to do to take her mind of her inquisition of the customers and to shut her up ??!!

Max charges the boys at the school a dollar a squeeze , and so is quite happy to be the owner of a pair of breasts ...however Hyde soon finds out about his latest money-making scam ...who grassed him up , and what will Hyde do??!!

Shelley is enjoying the freedom of being breastless and being able to pee like a guy....the rat is not pleased that they seem to be adapting to their new bodies ...what cunning plan has our rat got to heap woe onto Max and Shelley (and don't they deserve it!!)

Beth is getting increasingly paranoid about Rhys and Tilly ...thanks to the evil Shelleys notes. She talks to Kirsty about it who tells Kane. Kane talks to the man who treats him like the son he never had , and he persuades Rhys to talk to Beth and reassure her. Beth believes him , Tilly is distraught , but its not like anyone especially Beth could care less, Will they discover that it is Shelley leaving the messages??!!

Mark, Jade and Tasha try reasoning with Angie , but to no avail ...and the police officers also dont want to be wasting their time on petty laws and paperwork when there are real crimes to be working on. Angie however refuses to let the matter go , she makes such a scene that Pia arrests her for breach of the peace ....but what will happen when angry Angie is released in the morning!!??

Gypsy has just about had enough of Dani and her moaning . She stamps her foot as Josh and Seb walk past and the slight vibration this causes , makes them lose their balance and fall onto some railings. Fortunately the railings have sharp spikes on them and they are both impaled on them dying a gruesome and horribly painful death.

''We killed Josh West'' said the railings!!

''You LEGENDS'' replied Gypsy's shoes.

Gypsy told Dani that unless she found the right balance between being self centred and whining and being tollerable she would leave her. Will Dani try and moderate her selfish attitude or is it curtains for the sexy duo??!!

Silly Scott Hunter suddenly remembered where he had seen lots of money....unfortunately it was at the bank , not the stashed money ...so the search for the missing millions continues...will the money ever be found??!!

Date: 25/02/04 Author : Wanda

[JosieTash]

we ceratinly had a bit of a particle fetish (urine, snot etc) ..... and i'm glad that you are loving the Angie and Dani storylines !!!!!

243

Alf decided that desperate times called for VERY desperate measures. He invited Alex (and Brodie) to visit the Bay ? on the proviso that they can have the wedding of the dreams, if they keep leah "occupied". Things appear to be working as Leah no longer has time to do anything else but cook at the diner and rowse at her brother. Brodie takes advantage of alf's generous offer and begins the make VERY lavish (and WAY expensive) arrangements for day she becomes Mrs Alex Poulos. Will Alex & Bridie scontinue to keep leah occupied? Will Alf be able to afford the wedding if they can, and what will happen is he can't pay?

Noah is the one who dobbed Max in ? after all, since Hyde is now suppling

him with the best drugs he's ever had, Noah does everything Hyde's way -

and is TOTALLY the new principal's lapdog (hyde even calls him like a mut

("Here boy" etc). Hyde partic likes that Noah is like his own personal drug

sniffer dog, as Mr Lawson can tell if there are illegal subastance in a

student's locker ? despite never having seen the insides of the locker

before. Noah is pleased that his reward is that he gets the keep any drugs

he finds !!!

Hyde calls max to his office. The principal tells the endowed boy that max

will ONLY be able to continue money making scheme IF he charges each client

$5 to touch his breasts, with Hyde getting $2 dollars each time. Max likes

the way Hyde thinks, partic when the principal takes things out of the

men's toilets, and arranges that for ALL morning of each and every school

day, students will be officially able to fondle max's boobs. Jade, Tasha,

Tilly, Kirsty, lots of the female students, and several guys (incl Robbie)

object to Hyde's plan. Indeed, Jade, Tash, Tilly and the others come up

with an idea to end Max & Hyde's money making scheme (as virtually all the

male students, and several females as well, continue to want to touch Max's

breasts EVERY day). What's their plan?

The rat HATES that Max & Shelley have "adapted", so he decides to put the

most VILE curse on them imaginable. He makes Shelley fall in love with Posh

Josh!!!!!!!!!!!, AND the rodent's spell alos convinces Max that he wants to

have sex with Saddo Seb!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beth & Rhys see what's going on (shelley pashing josh, as Max lets the

saddo touch his breasts free of charge) and demand that the rodent has gone

TOO far this time. The rat says he will at least change Shelley & max back

to their previous state (max with breasts, shelley flat chested etc) if,

for 1 hr of each and every day for the next 3 years, the creature can watch

Tilly,sunbathe in the nude.

Rhys & Beth speed to the school and tell Tilly of what the rat has done to

Shelley & Max. Tilly doesn't like the poison dwarf or her stepdad's ex but

agress that NO ONE should be made to fall in love with josh & Seb. When

they arrive at the van park, Tilly proves she's going to comply with the

rodent's wishes by removing all of her clothes. The rat likes what he sees,

and removes the love spell form Shelley & Max.

The pair immediately knee posh josh & saddo seb in their private parts.

Both loosers fall to the ground and die.

"we killed josh & seb" said shelley & max's knees.

"you LEGENDS" replied Tilly's (still unclad) backside.

Tilly decided that who ever was sending her to fake love notes MUST be

discovered, and she asks everyone (rhys, beth etc) to play along like

nothing has happened. Tilly then thinks of who could possibly want rhys &

beth to split up. The young hunter girl began snooping around the Sands

resort, where Shelley resides. Tilly then sneaks into the room of the

resort with the security camera footage is viewed. She sees Sheeley writing

the latest love note, so Tilly races up to the breastless wome's room and

kicks the door down. "If it wasn't for me, you'd still be kissing posh

josh, and THIS is the way you repay me!!!!" Shelley began to feel a bit of

remorse for what she'd done. Rhys' ex told Tilly that she's wanted to show

her gratitude ? by granting Beth's daughter a wish. What does Tilly ask

for?

Angie decides that since the forces of good didn't want her help, she's

turn to the "dark side" again. After escaping from the watch house, she

gets a bulldozer from the local council depot and drives down the street,

trashing countless cars as she went. Angie then drove the big piece

machinery towards SBH. When she got to the school, she used the bulldozer

to knock over part of one of the buildings. Will anyone be able to stop

Miss Russell before she trashes something else?

Dani realises she might loose Gypsy so she keep her whining down to a

minimum, and the pair resume their normal totally sex loving relationship.

Dani is VERY pleased to be able to touch Gypsy's private parts, and be

touched in those areas by her soulmate. What Gypsy doen't know is that dani

has been geeting up in the middel of the night (as Gypsy sleeps) and

whining at the top of your lungs about ALL Mthe stuff that annoyed her that

day. Will Gypsy discover her lover's secret?

Jesse, Wanda, Danusia & Sammy go over to Hayley's place. After eating some

take away food for dinner, Hayley asks her 4 guests is they'd like to play

monopoly with her. Danusia & the other 3 agree to play the game, but Wanda

gets the shock of her life before the game begins when she sees the

currency in the monopoly box isn't "play money" ? it's the REAL deal. Wanda

rems about the missing millions that silly scoot h had said something

about, but why is all this cold, hard cash at Hayley's house?

Date: 26/02/04 Author : JosieTash

244

Alf is desperate to keep leah occupied but he is also tight with his money ...so he decides the best thing would be to pretend to go along with their requests for a lavish wedding ...but in reality hes booked the surf club , a few balloons and a few sandwiches ...well its not as if anyone likes them anyway!!What will Alex and Brodie do when they see their pathetic wedding??!!

Noah is spending all his time high as a kite due to the amount of drugs he is finding and keeping for personal use. His dodgy counselling skills are now even worse and the suicide rate at SBH is alarmingly high ... will Hyde be forced to get rid of his lapdog??!!

Shelley is in debted to Tilly .....but is adamant that she won't fulfill her request of killing Rhys ...but will the threat of the rat's curse change her mind??!!

Although she was deeply unpopular when she was ''doing good'' all of a sudden people are cheering for Angie and patting her on the back. The parents and former pupils ofSBH are so relieved that Hydes school has been demolished ...Angie is puzzled ...and confused by this adoration ...will she carry on doing evil , when she doesnt upset anyone by doing it ....or does she do good and get on everyones nerves ....what is Angie to do!!!!!!??

Silly Scott Hunter is wandering around looking for the money he lost ages ago , when he sees Dani whinging her socks off. She makes him promise not to tell Gypsy , but Scott hates Dani and so goes straight to Gypsy....will he remember what he saw ..and will Gypsy believe him??!!

Joe and Tilly come clean and explain that they stashed the money there because they thought that Noah and Hayley never played monopoly as the rules were too hard to learn. Wanda decided that the money should be split amongst them all ...and since most of the people there were her family members it worked out pretty well !!! Fi got a share too , which was just enough to cover the grande opening of her new tennis centre . K/K got enough for Kane to buy a new boat , Noah and Hayley were only given a bit cos they can't count past ten anyway. Mark and his wives had enough to go on a skiing holiday in Europe and Rhys built a new bathreoom at the caravan park.But someone is jealous because they wanted a share ...even though they are not entitled.

Dani was so upset at Scott H interupting her moaning session that she went off in her car to kill a few kangaroos ...luckily for the kangaroos she spotted some much better road kill material. She drove her car full speed at Josh and Seb who were skipping holding hands. They died instantly !!

''I killed Josh West'' said Dani's car.

''You LEGEND'' said the kangaroos.

Date: 27/02/04 Author : Wanda

245

Alex, Brodie, their families, & guests are on their way to the reception venue Alf has booked when Kane has a word in Alf’s ear. The son Rhys never had suggests that Leah, despite not being that "tight" with her bro, would TOTALLY go OFF (and rant & rave for days and days) if she saw what Alf had arranged for her sibling’s wedding. Alf wondered what his good friend had in mind. Kane suggested that they should ask Pammy to perform a spell on Alex, Brodie, and their families etc (who would think there at a MUCH more lavish reception than just the surf club). Pammy Agrees to Kane’s requests, and the Poulos’ etc think there at a very opulent reception venue, with lots of food etc. Someone, however, knows about the spell - someone with a grudge against Alf!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who is it? And how will they use this info against him?

Hyde decides to hire another counsellor, whilst creating a new position for Noah - the very official sounding "drug inspection officer" (drug sniffer dog would be more accurate title). Several ppl are ANTONISHED by Hyde’s replacement for Noah as school counsellor. Who does Hyde choose?

Shelley doesn’t want to kill Rhys, but she doesn’t want to contemplate falling in love with posh josh again, so she asks Tilly if there’s ANTHYING else she’s wants done. Tilly initially says no, but changes her mind. Shelley’s debt will be paid if she personally removes Max’s breasts, as Tilly hates than the poison dwarf is getting SOOOOOOO much money from the school boys (and the occasional girl) touching etc his boobs. Will Shelley agree to Tilly’s new request?

All the while, the young Hunter girl fulfils her end of the deal with the rat - sunbathing naked (in the open air) for him every day. Then one Tuesday, something weird happened in the Bay. It began to rain, and kept raining all day. Will Tilly lie nude, with the pouring rain saturating all of her body, or will she incur the rodent’s wrath by staying inside?

Angie decides she likes the duel pleasure of both being (kind of) evil AND having ppl love her so doing it. So she does things letting the air out of the tyres on Hyde’s car - EVERY single day. She also walks around town in little or NO clothing at all, and she performs community services like taping Greek Leah’s BIG mouth shut. She also pleases MANY, MANY ppl when she rings posh josh & saddo seb. She asks them to come to the 2 level house she shares with her daughter Tasha and her son & daughter in law Mark & Jade. When the losers arrive at the house, Angie throws one of her bras from the first floor balcony to both josh & Seb. Despite the soft, lightweight nature of the brassieres, the garments fracture EVERY bone of the losers’ bodies, which kills them.

"I killed josh & Seb," said the bras

"You LEGENDS", replied the fluro pink T-skirt Jade is wearing.

However, while most citizens of the Bay like what Angie’s doing (the males partic like checking out ALL of her shapely body), Constable Corelli has rec’d several complaints about Miss Russell’s actions. Will Pia arrest Angie, or is the policewoman on the side of the ppl who like what Angie’s doing?

Silly Scott H goes to Gypsy but all he keeps on saying is the word "Dani" over and over. Gypsy thinks that something must have happened to her soulmate. She searches the places where Dani would usually go but can’t find her. The redhead then asks her friends (like Jesse, Wanda, her kids, Mark & his wives, KK, Fi, Sally, Flynn, Hayley, Noah etc) if they will help her find Dani. All aren’t THAT big fan of the whiney princess, but agree to help because of their close friendship with Gypsy.

What happens when everyone finds Dani whingeing her pretty little head off?

Colleen was MOST displeased that none of the money came her way - as she thought of every person in the Bay as her family. The inappropriately named Mrs Smart decided that until she given some of the money she’ll refuse to serve those who got money when they go to the diner, or she’ll add a few yucky tasting things to the ppl’s orders!!! Will Colleen’s tactics gain her the cash she craves?

Kim decided to REALLY annoy his dad - by doing something he’s TERRIBLE at, acting. The local theatre group is so small that it will take anyone it can get, and Kim (again due to lack of numbers) is cast as a woman in the next production.

This leads Hyde’s son to discover he LOVES wearing girl’s clothes. He even goes to Yabby Creek and buys girly items like skirts, boob tubes, tops (both the normal AND the one shoulder variety he partic likes), bras, G-strings and dresses (esp strapless ones). What happens when Hyde discovers that Kim isn’t just getting in character as he dresses in girl’s clothes at home?

Date: 27/02/04 Author : JosieTash

246

Colleen is livid that the spell has been cast ...she feels it is a personal insult to her catering skills. This on top of the fact that she is upset with almost everyone about the money leads her to try and poison the guests. Leah is the only Poulos not to drink the poisoned wine....she screams the place down when she realises that her entire family is dead , the main priority of everyone living within a ten kilometre radius is to shut her up ...who can silence the distraught Leah , and how??!!

The police dont want Angie ''doing good'' in the Bay , and they dont want her annoying everyone ....so they are very relieved to hear that her time will be occupied in a new job ....Angie is to be SBH's new student counsellor...how will the parents and kids react to this appointment??!!

Shelley takes Max to a cheap plastic surgeon and although he is able to remove the breasts he accidentally forgets what hes doing and does a quick nose job too. Max now looks like Pinocchio ...the twins crease up laughing when they see him and he refuses to venture outside with his new long nose ....will anyone care enough to help the poison dwarf , or will he languish forgotten in his bedroom??!!

Tilly refuses to sunbathe in the nude in the rain but asks the rat if she can do something else instead ....will the rat let her??!!

A particularly large droplet of rain falls off a leaf straight onto loser-boy Seb , the impact knocks him over. Josh trips over his pathetic boyfriend and falls on top of him , they both die as their weak bones collapse under the strain.

''I killed Josh and Saddo'' said the droplet of water.

''You LEGEND'' replied the leaf.

Gypsy is not impressed to find Princess Whiney-pants moaning her head off . She warns Dani that if she carries on like this then they are over. Dani them whines about the fact that Gypsy is cross.

''What about ME!!'' she shouts.

Disgusted, Gypsy walks off ...will Dani get her lover back??!!

Silly Scott H and Numbnuts Noah are aimlessly wandering around .Noah is totally stoned and Scott is just stupid. They see Kim running out of his house persued by an angry Hyde.Kim is wearing a very fetching mini skirt , high heels and velour pink t-shirt....''She's pretty'' says stupid Scott.

''That's Kim'' said a startled Noah.

Silly Scott , unaware that Kim is a boy has developed feelings for the teenager....will he remember tomorrow ...and will he discover that Kim is a boy??!!

The evil Hyde has almost caught up to Kim and looks ready to kill him , but luckily our resident hero Kane appears and blocks his path. Hyde is in no mood to reason and tries to shove Kane out of the way. But our hero stands up to the bully ,so that Hyde is forced to retreat. Kim is grateful , but Hyde is livid , vowing revenge on Kane ....will he hurt our hero??!

Date: 28/02/04 Author : Wanda

247

Everyone tries to shut Greek Leah up, and she even is able to break through countless rolls of masking tape that are placed over her mouth. The only solution is the world's most strongest EVER masking tape. Everyone asks master inventors Robbie & UK Leah to invent such a tape. The pair rack their brains and come up with the right formula for their product. Severa; major companies (who are loosing business becasue nobody in hearing range of greek leah is leaving their home - and are therforew NOT buying anything ) offer to quickly produce the tape. The 2 inventors approach Grrek Leah from behind with the tape, and cover her mouth with their new creation. Will the tape be strong enough to keep Greek Leah quiet?

The parents & students are quate cycnical of having Angie as the school counsellor, but the kids (and the folks) soon realise that Angie is a VERY great asset on their "team" against the evil principal Hyde, becasue her awesome conniving brain is able to out think Hyde. He thinks all the students, teachers etc have fallen in line with the way he wants to school to operate, but really (thanks to Miss Russell) things are more out of Hyde's control than ever. WIll Hyde EVER discover that, thanks to Angie, EVERYONE is playing him for a fool?

Beth, true to form, thinks Henry & Tilly are being WAY mean to max - so she locks the pair of them in their bedrooms, and then goes to speak to her (kind of) step son - who she WAY prefers over her own twins. Beth says that they will go to the city and get max another nose job (one that return him to as close as max gets to normal). When max enquyires about where beth will get the money from, she tells him she'll raid the money she's been saving for Tilly & Henry's college fund!!!!! Beth's twins overhear max & beth's convo. What's their plan of reavnge agianst the poison dwarf and the evil mum?

The rat has to think for a while about what Tilly has said, but it the end, he agrees that she can perform another task on any raining days.The rodent says that Tilly must instead, without any help, go to the local video store and steal an X rated movie for him to watch. Tilly likes the mischeivous way the rat thinks, and agrees. Will she be able to "borrow" the adult film without getting caught?

As much as Dani loves to whinge, she KNOWS she loves Gypsy even more. Dani runs after her soul mate, and says that she's tried her hardest to stop whining, but she can't (it's part of her nature). Dani asks Gypsy if she can continue doing what she have been doing (whining her head off - to no one - whilst everyone is asleep). Gypsy agrees to her lover's plan - on a trial basis, at least.

Gypsy & Dani then begin to get physical with each other, but before they begin actually pashing, saddo seb & posh josh see the 2 lesabians and think they are having a cat fight. The loser pair decide to run over to the girls (to check out the "chick fight" action), but the moment they begin to run, both of their ankles shatter - and this causes the restb of their bones to break. the losers fall to the ground and die.

"i killed josh & seb" said their OWN shattered ankles.

"You LEGENDS", replied a nearby ice block wrapper that hadn't been thrown (correectly) in the bin.

Silly SCott has completely forgotten what Numbnuts Noah said, and upon seeing Kim wearing a strapless dress (with a mid back length brunette wig) and asks Hyde's son out on a date. Kim initially thinks that Silly scoot's request is ludicrous, but he then says quietly (so silly scoot doesn't hear) "this will help me get further in character".

Silly scoot & Kim (wearing the brunette wig, a one shoulder top & a skirt) go to the diner for their fisrt date. How will the rest of the bay react?

Hyde researches every piece of info he can get his hands on about kane, his family & hus friends - in a bid to destroy the peron who defied him. As his search continues, Hyde finds some information about Kane's great friend Fi. Hyde tells kane he'll go to the media with the info - if kane doesn't stay out if his (read kim) business. What has Hyde discoverd about Fi?

Date: 28/02/04 Author : JosieTash

248

The tape proves to be a wonderful success .....unfortunately no one will remove it to allow Leah to eat for fear of their ear drums shattering ...will Leah starve to death??!!

Hyde remains oblivious to Angies double dealing and thinks that he is in control , when really nothing could be further from the truth ....plans are afoot to create his downfall ..in the meantime Angie has found that there is a huge increase in the number of teenage boys requiring counselling , and her special counselling techniques are proving VERY popular!! What is Angie planning to do??!!

The twins find all the contact details for the plastic surgeon and phone up his office , they then change the booking of Max's nose job to an op to make his ears stick out , making up some rubbish story about him being an actor and needing to look that way. When Max arrives for his op , he is a little concerned that the surgeon seems unduly concerned with his ears , but says nothing. Max wakes up after his op and looks in the mirror ...his nose remains long , but now he also has sticking out ears ...the poison dwarf is NOT happy !! What will happen when he returns to the Bay??!!

Tilly steals the X-rated movie for the rat , with her accomplice Joe , who is an old hand at shop-lifting . On the way home they mug a couple of old ladies and graffiti a few walls . The rat is very pleased and watches his porn happily eating popcorn. Josh and Saddo Seb are trying to peer through the open window at the porn movie, so the rat throws some popcorn at them to get rid of them. A soft kernel of popcorn strikes each of them on the head causing multiuple skull fractures and instant death.

''We killed Josh and Saddo'' said the popcorn kernels .

''You LEGENDS!!!'' replied the rat.

Numbnuts Noah couldn't remember where he had put his stash of drugs ...then he remembered , in Kirsty's sugarbowl for safekeeping , while he was stoned.Berrating himself for putting the drugs in such a stupid place , he went round to K/K's house to retrieve them , but they were gone. He hoped that no one had taken them because they had the side effect of totally changing a person's character . Luckily he bumped into Kane who assured him that he took his coffee ''black, no sugar'' but horror of horrors , Kirsty had had a cup of tea with 5 spoons of sugar that morning ...what would the drugs do to Kirsty??!!

Fi confessed to Kane that she had infact only passed her driving test at the fourty-seventh attempt by bribing the examiner and wearing a very short skirt ...if Hyde revealed this then Fi could lose her precious driving licence. Fi is distraught , but Kane offers her his shoulder to cry on and gives her a special big hug.He tells her he will take her on driving lessons and she can re-take her test , then Hyde won't be able to complain....Fi is sooo grateful and hugs Kane back.They see Kirsty and wave to her , but she looks preoccupied ...will Fi's driving lessons be enough and what is wrong with Kirsty??!!

Silly Scott is in love with Kim , but he doesn't realise that Kim is a boy and that Kim is simply using him .Will Silly Scott find out the truth??!!

Date: 01/03/04 Author : Wanda

[JosieTash]

The Phoenix, loved your sandwhish comments

belgshep, that wasn't palnned (with the 6) - i sooooo can't count, and i love the kimmy/scott action (given all the hyaley stuff this year)

249

Sevarl of the townsfolk, who are concerned that Greek Leah’s mighty mouth will break free of Robbie & UK Leah’s tape REALLY want to just let her starve to death, but the more compasionate ppl in town, incl, beth & super doc Flynn agree to lkeave the tape over her mouth but "feed" Greek Leah" via a drip. The ppl who wanted Greek Leah to die decide to sabotaged the drip, but who’s responsible for doing so - and will Greek Leah meet her maker?

Angie is using the countless male students she’s "counselled" in a bid to remove hyde from the school. The boys let Angie spank their backsides (and they enjoy it too). Then several of the more technically minded kids, lkie robbie, made a video tape in which it appears that Hyde is usingly (illegal) corporal punihsment. What happens when Angie sends the tape to the education department?

Max is treatedlike a complete outcast by almost everyone in the bay. His only friends now are beth. Collen & Rhys. Indeed, beth is FURIOUS when she discovers that Tilly & Henry are responsible. What harsh, evil and completely saddistic punishment has she got in store fro her twins? And can Tilly & Henry get out of it - somehow?

The drug affected Kirsty has been Kane hugging Fi. She now thinks so,mething is going on between the pair. Kirsty decides that the pair must DIE for betraying her like this. She asks Jesse, who knows a bit about cars, to hot up the engine of Fi’s car, as a surpirise for her. Jesse thinks Kirsty is being soooo nice to her friend and he modifies the engine.

Kirsty didn't tell hwer friends this, so when kane takes Fi for a driving lesson, she starts the (now, unbeknownst to her, MUCH more powerful) car. The vehicle rockets down the street KK live in. Fi & Kane are such a shock that they can’t stop the car before they mow down saddo seb & posh kosh (who were kissing in the middle of the road).

"I killed josh & saddo" said the car's engine.

"you LEGENDS" replied the sun shining brightly above.

the car went oanother kilometre bfore kane was able to stop the vehicle (using all his might).

the drug addled Kirsty had seen all this,and was most displeased that kane & Fi had not died. Kirsty became further insensed when Fi gave kane a BIG hug. Kirst then began planning for a new way against the two she perceives are cheating on her. what's kirsty's latest plan? and will kane and Fi realise who is trying to kill them?

Kim continues to get into his role of a female for the play by dating silly scoot h. most ppl town son't think to much of siully scoo (or they like laughiung at him behind his back).

On their latest date, at stewart's date, with kim wearing a boob tube and a pair of REALLY short shorts that pair are about to kiss when beth sees them. what will she do?

Date: 01/03/04 Author : JosieTash

CHAPTER 250 !!!!

The drip has been tampered with .....and the list of suspects wanting Leah dead includes the vast majority of the town...who will the police interview first??!!

To Angie's surprise the department give Hyde their full backing and corporal punishment is introduced to the school. The pupils are livid ...except Max and his friend Nigel who quite enjoy the prospect of Hyde smacking their bums.What will Angie do next??!!

Beth locks the twins in the cupboard under the stairs and refuses to let them out unless they declare to the whole town that Max is cool and their best friend ...what will the twins do??!!

Fi received an invitation from Kirsty to come over for dinner , she was pleased because she thought Kirsty had been a bit off with her. Kirsty wasn't the best cook , but Fi appreciated the gesture.But the drugs which Kirsty had accidentally taken were making her warped and paranoid and she had convinced herself that Fi was seeing Kane behind her back. She wanted revenge and decided to poison their food. They all sat down to eat , but luckily Kirsty's cooking was so awful that they both chucked their meals away when she wasn't looking.Kane offered to put the rubbish out so Kirsty wouldn't see the dinner remains .

Saddo Seb was rumaging through the neighbourhood rubbish for scraps to eat when he spotted the poisoned food...he shared it with his boyfriend Josh and they died agonisingly .

''I killed Josh and Saddo'' said the meal.

''You legend'' replied the potato peelings.

Just then Numbnuts Noah came to K/K's door. He finally remembered to tell Kane about the drugs. At last there was an explaination for Kirsty's odd behaviour ...but could the effects of the drugs be reversed??!!

Fi and Kane were so worried about Kirsty, and Fi shed a silent tear.

''It'll be OK'' Kane reassured her , giving her a hug.

But would it be??!!

Beth is outraged at Silly Scott's behaviour and cannot bear to have him near her.

''You are no longer my son!'' she screams ...but Silly Scott just smiled and asked ,

''Umm who are you?''

''I give up on my kids'' she yelled ...''thank god I've got the lovely Sutho kids to care for now!''

Will Silly Scott remember who Beth is ...will he care....??!!

Date: 02/03/04 Author : Wanda

251

Constable Corelli interviews friend to all (bar her oen kids) Beth before all the other suspects. Pia isn’t qute sure if it is Rhys’ wife, but something beth says confirms the Constable‘s suspicions that she is responsible. What did beth say? And is she REALLY the culprit?

The corporal punishment thing is the last straw for Angie. She’s tried to be SOOOOOO good, and she’s not getting ANY kind of reward. Miss russell decides to get back at hyde - by waiting just inside the school gates every moring & arvo, with her samurai swored. She begins randomly selected students who are wither very early to school, or very late leaving (so as to not be seen by crowd of kids). In just 5 days, the students population is significantly less (25 kids - male or female a like) has been decapitated on school grounds. The parents & the education department demand answers form Hyde. Many of them are calling for his sacking? Has angie won the war against hyde? Or does he have a few tricks up hie sleave?

. Tilly & henery initailly think the cupboard is a better alternative than the socail death of calling max their best friend, but the air begins to run out so they plead for beth to release them. Tilley & henry then decided to hold a big party for max - in which they tell him & beth that they’ll pubicly announced Max as their bestest friend.

Unsurprisingly,, the hunter twins are planning as BIG, very unpleasent for the posion dwarf - what is it?

Kirsty decides the only way to can ease her drug affected mind (about the affair she thainks fi & kane are haviong behind her back, as tho have the rewcently natuarlised Fi send back to her home country - the UK. what lies will kisty tell to try to have Fi deported? and wil her plan succeed?

silly scott is SOOOOOOO taken by the fake boobs who Kim has rercently got (in his quest bto become a woman) that he doesn't car what beth has said.

silly scoot isn't the onlty one who id distracted. despite being in love with each pother, posh josh & saddo sec are WAY distracted by the sight of kim's brand new pride and joys. this casues the pair to walk off a VERY short cliff, but such is the flaility of their loser bines, that the 2 gay boys are killed by their short fall.

"we killed josh & seb", said the cliff & kim's brests"

"you LEGENDS", replied a nearby totally burnt out car.

silly scoot really liked touching kim's boobs, and wants to take things further with his "girlfriend". how eill silly scoott react wihen he sees that kim was the genitals of a guy?

Date: 02/03/04 Author : JosieTash

252

Beth has an airtight allibi ...she was tormenting her kids when the crime took place . Constable Correlli looks at her list of suspects again , she goes to interview Colleen ....is her hunch right this time??!!

In order to cover up the fact that pupils have been massacred by Angie , Hyde is shipping in kids from Yabbie Creek school , luring them and their parents with false promises of the brilliance of his record as a headmaster. A new pupil called Rikki is in Joe, Tilly and Henry's class and they all soon make friends.They got to the diner and have fun picking on the poison dwarf. At first Rikki is alarmed at the bullying but after being in Max's class for five minutes she soon realises that he deserves it especially when she realises that Max's only friend is the mad old bat serving in the diner!!!!

Rikki and Henry appear to be getting on particularly well and on the way back to school the two couples split up. Joe and Tilly go and graffiti some buildings , while Henry and Rikki walk slowly holding hands.They even stop for a little kiss.

Saddo Seb and his pathetic boyfriend Josh walk past gawping at them, not looking where they are going. Saddo trips over his shoelace tumbling pathetically to the ground and knocking Posh Josh over with him.They both die from the tiny fall , their weakling bones shattering,loudly and painfully.

''I killed Josh and Saddo'' said Sadboys shoelace.

''You LEGEND'' said his nasty , totally NOT trendy sensible grandad shoes.

Henry and Rikki saw them fall over and laughed about it all the way to school.

Will Hydes plan of concealing the number of students being killed by Angie work ....and will Angie be stopped ??!!

Tilly can see that her twin is preoccupied by the new girl so she asks Joe to help her with her cunning plan to get even with Max the poisoned dwarf granny lover....what will they do??!!

Fi manages to convince the authorities to let her stay in Aussie , but now Kirsty tries to get even with Kane. Her drug addled brain means that she is still convinced that her beloved husband is having an affair with their best friend Fi.She goes to the wharf and tampers with the Blaxlands engine and radio ...will Kane be stranded at sea ??!!

Silly Scott is kissing Kim and feeling his falseys when suddenly they come loose and fall to the ground. Silly Scott is startled because he has no idea that the boobs were not real. He runs off , terrified that he has injured the ''girl'' that he loves....Kim cracks up laughing , but feels sorry for the moron so tries to run after him to explain....will he catch up with him , and will Silly Scott understand.??!!

Noah has finally admitted that he has NO idea what the drug was that Kirsty took accidentally ....he found it in a locker at school ...how long before his dopey brain remembers whose locker??!! And will the culprit own up and be able to help Kirsty??

Date: 04/03/04 Author : Wanda

253

Constable Corelli suspects that colleen might be the one because of the old bag constantly had to put up with Greek Leah as they worked side by side in the kitchen diner. Colleen breaks down and cries as she says, "it was me. I just couldn’t stand the whining woman any longer". But is colleen telling the truth, or merely covering for someone?

Rikki realises she’s falling head over heals in love with henry. She decides that she must tell him everything about herself. When she reveals one partic piece of info about herself, henry is taken by complete surprise. What does Rikki tell Henry, which causes all the commotion?

Jade & Tasha decide to investigate what’s happening to all the missing students. Tasha is SHOCKED when she sees what her mum is doing. Angie says "I’m doing this for you guys, so you won’t have to put out with Hyde for much longer". Tasha is in a total bind - she’s getting on well with her mum, but she also knows that what Angie is doing is wrong. Tasha decides to offer Angie a deal. Tasha asks her mum to perform a task - if Angie does the task, Tasha won’t say anything. What is the OUTRAGEOUS task? And will Angie do what Tasha has asked of her?

Tilly decides to REALLY toy with max. She & Joe get their hands on a letter written by Max’s dad Pte. Tilly tried to forge Pete’s hand writing, but she can’t so Joe gives it a go. He perfectly copies the way Max’s dad writes. Tilly & Joe then send the letter to his pals in the UK who then sent it back to Oz. The letter says that peter will be home REAL soon. Joe & Tilly see that max is REALLY excited when he gets that letter, so they continue to send him further letters. Joe & Tilly continue to laugh at the poison dwarf because of the letters. The final one from "Pete" asks max to meet up with his dad at Bondi beach in Sydney. Max is over the moon when he reads this. Tilly & Joe think about not having anyone is there to meet max, but then have a better idea. Who does max encounter instead of his dad?

Kirsty thinks she’s seen the end of her "cheating" husband, and kane is a tad concerned to as the boat continues to drift (with its engine totally stuffed. Then he scouts around the boat and finds several items, and (macgyver style) as able to repair to radio. The BIG search parties (who all are Kane’s friends and don’t want any harm to come to him) are SOOOOO glad to hear his radio call.

When kane returns to the wharf, the drug affected Kirsty (having heard kane has survived) is waiting for him. How will Kirsty try to pay kane back for "cheating" on her now?

No brain Noah can’t rem which locker he got the drugs from, but elsewhere, Sally is frantic!!!!!!!!!!

She is in tears as she is forced to tell Flynn that she is a drug addict - and that she scores her illegal gear from his sister Ashley, who has gone off the rails again.

Sally then mentions that some of her stash has gone missing and whilst she is merely thinking of Hyde using the drugs against her (just like angie with the OCD tablets), Flynn thinks this might be why Kirsty was been acting sooooooooooo strangely. Will super Flynn be able to get to Kirsty before she attempts to harm kane, or Fi, again?

Kim catches at with silly Scott. Kim tells silly Scot that he’s really a boy (with likes dressing to a girl). To prove to silly Scott that he is a boy, Kim removes the mid back length wig, shows silly scoot the false boobs (and the packaging). Silly Scott still doesn’t seem to be convinced, so Kim decides to only way to prove that he’s a guy is to show silly scoot his boy bits.

Just as he does this, posh josh & saddo Seb are walking by. Both are sooooo distracted by the sight of Kim’s genitals that they don’t see the cricket ball (and a person fielding) hurtling towards them. The ball hits saddo in the face whilst posh is knocks over by the fieldsman diving to take the catch. Both fall to the ground and die.

"We killed josh & saddo," said the cricket all & the fieldsman"

"You LEGENDS" replied Kim’s genitals.

Speaking of which, how does silly Scott react when he sees Kim’s boy bits?

Date: 04/03/04 Author : JosieTash

[JosieTash]

i thought you wouldn't mind .....

ALWAYS (with Angie & the extras) .....

scott is sooooo much fun to play with ......

about Reborn, it's kinda still there - at bottom of screen, change "from 30 days" to "from 60 days"

254

Const. Correlli is convinced that Colleen is covering up for someone . The only two people that Colleen is close to are Norman the closet fettishist and Midget Max the deformed poisoned dwarf. Constable Correlli decides to interview them next ....will this line of inquiry shed any more light on Leah's murder??!!

Rikki reveals to Henry that she has fancied him for ages , ever since he first came to the Bay .Henry is overjoyed because he had noticed Rikki too and was hoping to get to know her. But someone is not happy for the couple ...who wants to cause trouble and why??!!

Tasha has asked Angie to go to anger management group bonding and tree hugging sessions. Angie is not impressed with this psycho-babble intervention , but has no choice. Angie goes to the first group therapy session and is shocked to see a very familiar face ....who else is there??!!

Max waits and waits for his dad on Bondi beach (sob,sob,what a shame!) but instead of his dad Saddo Seb and Posh Josh arrive with an anonymous note making fun of him. Max is distraught and bursts into tears like the big baby he is , and stamps his tiny feet.A grain of sand is kicked into the air and falls into Saddo's eye , piercing the soft membranes and causing fatal haemorrhaging, at the sight of the blood Posh Josh faints and lands softly on the soft sand , the impact immediately fracturing his thin skull and killing him.

''I killed Josh West and Saddo Seb!'' said the sand.

''You LEGEND!!'' said a surf board.

Max cried his way home and told Beth his woes , but Beth had troubles of her own,and told him to shut up. Rhys has heard about Kirsty's accusations of Kane and although he loves him like a son , Rhys isnt very bright and so believed kirsty without listening to the full story and so does not know she is deluded due to the drugs.Rhys is sooo disappointed that the son he never had could treat his daughter in this way that he turns purple in a fit of rage and rants and raves for two hours about how he will kill Kane and Fi. Beth is trying in vain to calm him down , but Rhys is the worlds worst listener and ignores her , he is hell bent on revenge.

He sees Fi walking home after a hard days coaching tennis and ambushes her , dragging her kicking and screaming into the bush. He is armed with a machete and his purple face and bulging eyes are terrifying poor Fi. Luckily our hero Kane hears Fi's screams and oblivious to any danger to himself dives into the bush and tackles Rhys to the ground, freeing Fi.

''Run Fi!!'' he shouts and she starts to run, she turns round and sees that despite being severely wounded in the arm , dripping with blood Kane has managed to knock Rhys out and tie him up with some handy rope.

''Oh! My God , you're bleeding and hurt,'' gasped Fi.

''It's O.K, I'm fine ,''said Kane bravely , as he gritted his teeth against the immense pain and made his way to the doctors surgery with Fi helping him. Unfortunately Kirsty saw him leaning on Fi for support and mistook this for an embrace.....what will Kirsty try next , and will Rhys listen to the truth??!!

SuperFlynn tends to Kane's injury and confirms Kane's suspicions that the drugs are to blame for Kirsty's odd behaviour....and confides to Kane that the drugs were actually Sally's.Will SuperFlynn and Kane be able to help Sally come off the drugs and will they be able to find Ashley , to help identify the drugs or will Kirsty remain paranoid forever??!!

Scott stared and stared at Kim's boy-bits ....there was something VERY odd about them ...what is Kims secret ...and will Scott H remember it??!!

Date: 05/03/04 Author : Wanda

255

Constable Corelli surprises everyone when she arrests Norman. Everyone in town is amazed when it is revealed that Norman tried to kill Greek Leah because his sweetheart Colleen was having an affair with the whiney Greek chef behind his back. Pia asks the ppl of the bay which way that wish to see Norman punished - will they decide that he should go to jail, or have Colleen rousing at his 24/7?

Beth hates that one of her children is happy, so she starts sending Rikki notes than Henry is just using her to make another girl jealous. Will Rikki believe Beth’s EVIL lies?

Angie is GOBSMACKED to find the seemingly easy going Hayley at the anger management sessions. Angie can’t believe it when hayles tells everyone how she goes home most days (after keeping her sunny exterior in public) and totally trashes the place. Angie finds this "dark side" of Hayley quite a turn on. When the 2 of them have to do a one on one activity, Angie kisses Hayley. How will the blonde bimbo respond?

AS Kane & Fi help Flynn try to track down Ashley (sally won’t say where she is because the drugs are just TOOOO heavenly to give up); the 2 friends now have to deal with both Kirsty AND Rhys against them.

Kane decides to ask good friend dani if she’ll talk to Rhys & Kirsty. Dani initially insists she must go to yabby creek first (to check out all the autumn fashions), but the combined efforts of kane and Gypsy (who says she won’t make love to dani tonight if she doesn’t help kane) changes Dani’s mind.

As Dani & Gypsy travel - in Dani’s car - to the Van Park (where Kirsty & Rhys are plotting against kane), they go by posh josh & saddo Seb. The slightest breeze caused by Dani’s car is enough to cause posh & saddo to fall over, but such weaklings are they that the soft foam matting is open to cause the fragile bones to shatter, killing them both.

"I killed josh & Saddo," said the "dani car" breeze.

"You LEGEND" said a dog urinating a nearby tree.

Dani & Gypsy arrive at the Van Park. Will Dani be able to talk some sense into Rhys & Kirsty?

Meanwhile Kane, Fi & Flynn have FINALLY found Ashley. Flynn is SHOCKED to discover what drug Ashley is supplying to Sally. What is it?

Kim hopes that silly Scott will continue to forget the things he sees, because Kim (due to some freak of nature) has not just (usual) one male long appendage at the top of his legs but a SECOND equally long boy bit as well. But can silly Scott forget something THIS unique?

PS - NICE work with Rhys !!!!!!!!

Date: 06/03/04 Author : JosieTash

256

The good citizens of Summer Bay decide that being in the company of an angry Colleen 24/7 was a far worse punishment than jail for Norman , and so despite his pleas to be sent to prison ,he is released into the mad old bats custodial care. After spending all day and all night(erase that awful image from your minds ) with the senile Colleen, Norman is getting desperate ....what will he do ??!!

Henry sees Rikki outside the school sobbing her little heart out a letter clutched in her trembling hand, but he is shocked when she runs away from him looking at him as if she despised him. Confused, Henry repeatedly tries to talk to her in class , but she ignores him. After school he follows her to the diner....will the truth come out??!!

Angie is amazed when Hayley bitch slaps her across the face after their kiss ...definitely some anger management problems there then , although having lived with the worlds worst counsellor for years , hardly surprising that Hayley has some emotional problems!!But Angie is even more amazed that Hayley's slap turned her on ....what happens next??!!

Dani finds Rhys and Kirsty and tries to talk to them about Kane and Fi, however she encounters several problems. Firstly Rhys suffers from a congenital condition that renders him incapable of listening , secondly Kirsty is too drug - addled to listen and thirdly , since the conversation is not about her Dani really cant be bothered to make more than a token effort to talk-- so Dani goes shopping instead .....meanwhile Shelley is rubbing her hands with glee. She has found out about Rhys's misplaced hatred of Kane and wants to join forces with him to kill the man she blames for the break-up of her marriage...even though he actually had nothing to do with it. She joins forces with Rhys and Kirsty and together they come up with a cunning plan to kill our hero Kane....what is their plan??!!

Unbeknownst to them all Beth has seen Shelley talking to Rhys , she is instantly overcome with a jealous rage , because she knows how much Shelley wants the handome Rhys back , his purple face , lack of a chin , bulging eyes and protruding lips being such a turn on ,.....what will Beth do??!!

Flynn ,Fi and Kane are shocked to find that the drug Ashley is supplying is a man-made chemical , manufactured in ......Summer Bay ....who is producing this dangerous drug??!!

Silly Scott is frightened of Kim's extra appendage and runs off distressed screaming '''willy'' at the top of his voice. Saddo Seb and Posh Josh hear him and intrigued go to see what the commotion is about.Kim sees them approaching and unable to hide his naughty bits he dives athletically into the water. Saddo and Posh try to copy him , but both hit their heads on the soft sand of the sea bed and die instantly, their feeble skulls shattering and their weak lungs filling with water.

''I killed Josh West and saddo Seb'' said the sea-bed''

''You LEGEND'' replied a passing crab.

Scott ran and ran , all the way to the diner....will he remember what it was that scared him??!!.

Date: 06/03/04 Author : Wanda

257

Norman decides that despite the awful thought of it, she decides to make love to colleen as oftyen as possible - hoping that all the excitement will cause colleen to have a heart attack (or something similar which will kill her). Norman prays that all the strenuous activity will end collen’s life. Will his plan be successful?

Henry asks Tilly to help him with his problems. Tilly approaches Rikki, who says that Henry is a total rat for leading her on. Whilst talking, Tilly sees part of the note. She can tell that it’s a forgery. Tilly tells Rikki this info. Will Rikki believe what Henry twin has said?

Angie tells hayley that she was turned on by the kiss. Hayley responds by saying she slapped angie to actually see if miss Russell liked receiving such treatment by her lover. Hayley continued by saying that she has LOTS of bondage and S&M gear at her house. Angie is EXTREMELY turned on but this. Hayley then kisses Angie, and the pair pash for seemingly hours. But someone has seen the 2 woman kissing, and doesn't it at all. Who is the person who has seem the bay's latest girl/girl cuple?

Shelley, Rhys & kirsty decides to use kane's heroic skills against him. They kidnap Jade & Tasha, set fire to Gypsy & Dani's house (with the pair pleasuring each other inside) and they set about poisoning the local kangaroo population?Will kane are his allies be able to save the likes of Jade, Gypsy and the roos - before they perish? and wiland will kane react if he can't save them all?

beth decides to only way she's going to get thys back is to also turn against kane. what's the usually rational beth's plan against our resident hero?

Fi, Kane & Flynn are GOBSMAKED when they discover that little VJ is making the drugs that Ashley is selling to , amongst others, Sally. Our trio thinks VJ is doing this so he can get enough money to get away from his loudmouthed mum (Greek Leah) but is that the real reason?

Robbie & UK Leah are busy re-reading harry potter for the millioneth time when robbie's glasses fall from his head as he go to turn the page.

The glasses miss the novel and land on saddo seb (who is lieing on the ground trying to look up robbie's leg - to see if he has one long apendage, like them, and not two - like kim). the impact of the glasses instantly kills the saddo. They also bounce off seb and them hit josh (who is doing the same thging as his lover), which results in the posh git's death.

"I killed josh & saddo" said robbie's glasses.

"you LEGEND" said the harry potter novel.

Silly scoot gets the diner, and asfter alf gets an inteepreter who can unterstand "silly scott speak", the ppl is the diner are unsure to believe what silly scott has said. Alf decides to check things out for himself. What happens when Mr stewart asks Kim to show him his private parts?

Date: 06/03/04 Author : JosieTash

258

Norman humps and pumps away but Colleen never seems satisfied , and he is in more danger of a heart attack than she is.(wipe all nauseating images from your minds)....what cunning plan will he come up with to get free of the mad old bag??!!

Rikki is overjoyed that her beloved Henry did not write the notes and they quickly decide to get revenge on Beth.They know she is paranoid about Shelley getting back with Rhys so they play the same trick on her , only they leave love-letters from Shelley to Ryhs lying around the house , which Joe has cunningly forged for them. Beth is so distraught that she decides not to join forces with Rhys in his plot to kill our hero Kane , but instead decides to go straight for Shelley. What will Beth do to Shelley??!!

Dopey Noah finished ''counselling'' early since all of his clients had committed suicide , and he wanted to surprise Hayley by showing her his new bong. But instead he got the shock of his life when he saw Hayley and Angie in full bondage gear pleasuring each other. At first he thought he must be hallucinating but no, it was real. He rolled a spliff while he decided what to do. Does he do anything or cant he be bothered??!!

Kane rushed inside the blazing house and rescued Gypsy and the now hysterical Dani. He had to slap her face a few times for her own good , but luckily a queue of eager volounteers soon appeared all waiting in line to administer a good slap, so he was able to rush off to his next heroic deed.

He arrived breathless at a disused warehouse where some evil henchmen were guarding Jade and Tasha , they were each armed with a gun. Our fearless hero launched an attack on them , but even with his speed, strength and agility he was severely wouded in both arms while rescuing them. He got Jade and Tasha to safety , despite his wounds , dismissing them as though the bullet wounds did not hurt, when he saw a sick looking kangaroo. He realised the kangas needed help, and despite his loss of blood managed to round them up and take them to the vets.By now bleeding heavily and in terrible pain , Kane blacked out ...the last thing he saw before he passed out with pain and exhaustion was Rhys and Kirsty....what happens to our hero next??!!

VJ is not allowed to watch TV for a week as punishment for his drugs manufacruring. He is not pleased , but at least he gets to go round Jesse and Wanda's house away from his awful screeching mother . She is distraught that her little darling would go to such lengths to get away from her , but others think it was only natural.Leah wails and moans even more until Alf can no longer bear to have her in the kitchen ...what is Alf driven to do??!!

Silly Scott is still traumatised by seeing Kim's extra appendage and everyone in the diner is intrigued when Kim walks in.

''Strike me roan,'' says Alf,''is it true ? Have ya got an extra ding-dong?''

Kim mumbled a quick reply which no one was able to understand , and blushed profusely.He ran out of the diner embarrassed that his secret was out.As he ran he shed a single tear which was carried on the tiniest of breezes until it came into contact with Saddo Seb.The teardrop landed on him causing him to cry out in pain.Posh Josh was startled by this sudden cry and stumbled tripping over a blade of grass and crashing into his pathetic boyfriend.They staggered into the road just as an ambulance , which Tash had called for Kane sped around the corner and collided with them. They were both killed instantly.

''I killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb '' said the ambulance.

''You LEGEND'' replied the blade of grass.

Date: 07/03/04 Author : Wanda

[JosieTash]

Dani was such a pain (for the most part) on the show - but (like Leah) she's soooooo much fun to write about - i ADORE that i made Gypsy/Dani a couple !!!!

SOOOOO glad that you liking VJ, Kimmy, everything !!!

259

Norman decides that because colleen is SOOOOO into these raunchy antics that, whilst she is in the bathroom, he mixes some poison to the body chocolate which he then smears on himself. Norman knows that the poison to cause his skin any harm, but will cause her anyone consuming the body choc to be incapacitated for a while. Will Norman’s cunning plan work?

Beth decides to use her well-known charm & rational thinking to lull Shelley into a sense of false security. Indeed, Shelley is so seduced by Beth’s nature that she forgets that she is now friends with the woman she previously most despised.

Beth then makes her move. As they two women are hugging, Beth (literally) stabs Shelley in the back (with a short, but VERY sharp, knife). Is this the end of the mother of Rhys’ children?

The very high Noah decides to watch the awesome women in "action" for a while. He then decides that he wants to join in the TOTALLY sexy fun Angie & Hayley are having. After the girls initially ignore him (and hope he goes away), they tell the dopey counsellor than he CAN join the sexy fun - if he can prize virgin Robbie away from his harry potter novels (and UK Leah) so they - Hayley, Angie, Noah & Robbie - can become a ultra sexy 4some!!!!!!!!!! Will Noah’s sex quest be successful?

When kane awakes again, he realises he is hanging upside - by a rope that’s tied around his legs (wit the other end - via a pulley near the ceiling of what appears to be a warehouse - in Kirsty’s hand). Kane realises that pleading to his addled wife just won’t work, and things seem to get worse when Rhys removes the cover from a large cylindrical tank below our hero.

Kane can see, in the crystal clear water, seemingly millions of piranhas - just waiting for Kirsty to let go of the rope (which will drop kane into the tank).

Kane thinks about using his mighty strength (which has returned) to break the rope tied around her feet, but he knows EVEN he is too close to the tank to be able to break the rope and escape the pirahnas. Kane then sends a telepathic call to his friends.

Tasha, Danusia & Sammy are the first to arrive. As Tasha (without Kirsty or Rhys seeing her) slowly gets hold of the rope which is tied around Kane’s legs, Kirsty sees Danusia & Sammy and is VERY surprised when she lets go of the rope and her former beloved doesn’t fall into the piranha tank. But before Kirsty & Rhys can do anything about Tasha & the rope, Danusia & Sammy combined their gymnastic & karate skills, which ends with the Danusia & Sammy simultaneously kicking Kirsty & Rhys in the face - knocking them to the ground.

Kirsty & Rhys were only semi conscious as Tasha, Danusia & Sammy put o cover over the tank, lowered kane gown and untied him. Kane thanks his friends for saving him. The 4 then exited the warehouse, whilst the now virtually fully conscious Kirsty & Rhys were already planning their next attack against kane. What are they up to now?

Alf is driven to such madness that he knocks Leah out by hitting her on the head with a hot frypan and the close of business for the day. He then took lots of food out of the diner’s BIG freezer and placed the Greek chef in the freezing unit. Obviously ppl will notice that Greek Leah is missing, but will ANYONE care?

As Gypsy & Dani continue the great work that kane began (taking kangaroos to the vet, finding the poisoned food etc), saddo Seb & posh josh see the tasty looking roo treats on the ground. Josh & Seb are about to bite on the poisoned food, Gypsy & Dani think about calling out for them to stop, but then change their mind and enjoy watching posh & saddo DIE from the infected treats.

"We killed posh josh & saddo Seb," said the poisoned food.

"You LEGENDS" exclaimed Gypsy & Dani's highly fashionable tops just before the girls joyously pashed each other.

Hyde was surprised when Kim returned home. Kim told his dad about how silly Scott had seen his 2 long appendages. Hyde then SHOCKED his son. What did Hyde reveal to his girl’s clothes loving son?

Date: 08/03/04 Author : JosieTash

260

Colleen lovingly licks the chocolate from Norman's wrinkly old bod....sorry just getting a sick bucket......and notices that she is feeling a bit queezy. She does not get sick however.....although the thought of it is making me sick......because she has developed a cast iron stomach due to years of eating greek leahs mousakka. Norman lets out a disappointed groan , which Colleen stupidly misinterprets as a moan of passion and carries on licking and sucking. What will poor Norman do now to get away from the mad old bag??!!

Shelley staggers back , the knife protruding from her shoulder blades , but it has only caused a flesh wound and she is livid .

''You back-stabbing bit*h'' !! she shouts and hurls herself at Beth.

Luckily Silly Scott walks in and thinking that Shelley wants to dance , he scoops her up and pirouettes with her in his arms until all that spinning around makes her dizzy and disorientated.

''Don't think that I'll forget this '', she hisses at Beth as she leaves.

''That was fun, '' says Silly Scott. ''I like dancing with Auntie Shelley.''

P*ss off,'' said his ungrateful mother.

Robbie is so shocked at Noah's sugestion of having a foursome that his glasses steam up. He is scared of the very thought and scampers away to find his friend UK Leah . He bumps into a tree on the way , because of his impaired vision , and a leaf flutters off a branch.

The leaf lands on Saddo Seb's puny head , bounces off his afro curls and hits Josh in the face. Both die instantly from the impact.

''I killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb,'' said the leaf.

''You LEGEND'' said a koala.

Kane quickly recovers from his ordeal , in true brave fashion , never complaining , but merely expressing concern for his drug addled wife and Rhys the father he never had. He was taking Fi out on the Blaxland, quite a distance from shore, when they heard a noise coming from the cabin. Fi is scared ,but Kane hugs her quickly and tells her to stand back,. He hurls open the door , to see Kirsty and Rhys in full SCUBA gear , armed with harpoon guns ....what will our hero do next??!!Henry and Rikki sneak into the diner to nick some ice cream, they open the freezer and see Greek Leah in there. They look at each other , get their ice creams and shrug their shoulders , closing the freezer door again. Nope , no one's rushing to save Leah just yet !!! How long will she stay in there and how will Alf explain her absence ??!!

Hyde revealed that he himself is similarly endowed to Kim,with an extra appendage, it's an old family defect that is passed on from father to son , but he has overcome his problem. Will he tell his tranny son how , or will he torment him with this knowledge??!!

Date: 09/03/04 Author : Wanda

261

Norman realised that Colleen was so absorbed in licking the body chockie of him that he could do things like move (slowly) and drink of glass of water whilst she old bag continued licking. He even tipped a glass of milk on colleen - but she carried on without batting an eyelid. Norman realised this was the key to end this bizarre (almost grotesque) scene. Mr shadbolt grabbed a container of cleaning fluid, which was HIGHLY acidic. He then tips the substance on her head & body. Will he NOW be rid of the old bat?

Shelley & Beth initially BOTH wants to kill silly Scott, but realises it would be WAY too easy. While Beth continues to try to thinks of sneaky ways to kill Shelley, the mother of Rhys’ children instead worked on ways of showing Rhys how much better fro him than Beth she is.

Shelley got her opportunity when Rhys asked both women to have dinner with him. Shelley, without the other two knowing, spiked Beth’s drink. This made Beth totally loose her inhibitions. Shelley realises her plan wasn't working when she could see that Rhys was getting quite turn on as Beth began performing a sexy striptease for him. What will Shelley do now?

Noah decides that Robbie JUST isn’t going to agree to the 4some, but the dopey counsellor still REAALY wanted to sleep with Hayley & Angie, so he decided to ask someone else to be the other member of the 4some. When Noah arrives at the palace, Angie & Angie are quite surprised by whom Noah has brought to join them. Who has Noah chosen, and will the 4some go ahead?

Both Rhys & Kirsty fire the harpoon guns at once but Kane is so quick that he grabs each projectile before it reaches its target. Rhys then charges at kane, as Kirsty does the same to Fi. As the 2 girls engage in a massive catfight (with Fi trying not to hurt her drug addled friend too much), the battle between kane & Rhys took an interesting turn - they both fell overboard. Soon after, Rhys realises the 3 swimming lessons Shelley gave him were Total crap, and begins to drown. Will Kane save the man who has been trying to kill him? And who will win the chick fight between Fi & Kirsty?

Hyde decides that he will only tell Kim the way to overcome the (two appendage) problem if his son fully gets into girl mode (brunette wig, sexy female clothes etc) AND gets a REAL boob job, so Hyde can show off the "hot new, young woman in his life" to his stuffy, similar aged friends in the city. Will Kim agree to Hyde’s seemingly outrageous plan?

No one even seems to notice that Leah is gone after VJ crawls into the diner, on his own, and cries out "WHERE’S MY MUM?"

Alf tells the infant that Greek Leah has gone to South America - to get ther beloved son the most noise dampening set of earplugs on earth.

Will VJ believe what Mr Stewart has said?

Posh Josh & Saddo Seb entered the diner after Alf had told VJ about South America. Leah’s bub that was still in the crawling position on the diner floor moved his leg ever so slightly. Seb tipped over the infant’s leg, and as he began to fall, the saddo dragged posh down with him. Both of their skulls JUST touch the side of one of the tables, but this was enough to instantly kill BOTH the losers.

"We killed Posh Josh & Saddo Seb," said VJ's leg and the diner.

"You LEGENDS", replied Greek Leah’s bub’s nappy.

Rikki, Henry, Tilly & Joe are hanging out together when something not very big fell from the sky - and crashed to the ground nearby. When the 4 investigate, they discover it’s NOTHING they’ve ever seen b4. What have Tilly and her friends found?

Date: 09/03/04 Author : JosieTash

262

Colleen's horrible leathery old skin is impervious to the acid like liquid , which merely trickles of her toughened , hard as old boots hide and burns a hole in the carpet. Norman is now becoming desperate as wave after wave of nausea hit him (and us ) at the thought of not being able to rid himself of the horny (in more ways than one) old bag. He musters up all of his strength and pushes her sucking licking face off his body , quickly grabs his clothes and attempts to run away. How far will Norman get??!!

Beth is feeling very smug as she appears to be winning the battle for Rhys's affections, but Shelley has not given up yet. She knows that by constantly reminding him of his hatred for Kane he will be unable to concentrate on affairs of the heart, and she will drive a wedge between Rhys and Beth. So while Beth tries to tell him about the drug that Kirsty took , while at the same time trying on sexy underwear, she becomes frustrated that Rhys's congenital disease , which renders him incapable of listening to reason , means that she is wasting her time .

''The scum, wait until I get my hands on him,'' he rants constantly , oblivious that the boy he previously adored had done nothing wrong. In the end Beth decided to have an affair with Alf , who had been giving her the come on for months.

Will Beth's affair with Alf remain a secret ....and will Beth discover Leah's whereabouts and will she care??!!

V.J decided that living at Aunty Wanda's with her,nice Jesse and her kids was much better than being with his loud mouthed mum , and so decided not to remind people that she was missing.Will ANYONE notice Leah's absence, will ANYONE care??!!

Angie and Hayley are most suprised to see Hyde in full bondage gear rock on up to the house with Noah , they are even more surprised when they discover that he has enough to go round. The girls decide that in view of Hydes added bonus they don't need Noah at all ....how will dope smoking , tree hugging Noah react??!!

Unknown to Hyde , Kim followed him to the palace and is amazed that not only has his father not done anything to ''cure'' his problem ,but it seems to be working to his advantage. He decides to stay as he is , and refuses all surgery, but ofcourse he still wears girls clothes, and very fetching he looks too.Will Silly Scott get over his feelings for Kimmy or will this be his one true love despite Kimmy being a boy??!!

Just as Rhys feels himself being dragged down by the currents of the ocean, he feels two strong arms around him , as our hero Kane battles against the huge waves to save the man who was trying to kill him. Exhausted Kane manages to get Rhys back on board the boat , when he sees his beloved (but drug addled wife) Kirsty struggling with their best friend Fi. He intervenes and restrains Kirsty , gently but firmly so as not to harm a hair on her head , and then lovingly ties her up along with Rhys , making sure the ropes are not too tight on her beloved wrists.

Poor Kane is desperate to find a cure for Kirsty so that she can return to the loving, caring wife she was , he is not one to complain though and so just sighs gently. Fi , however can feel his pain and hugs him , telling him that they WILL find a cure.As they returned to shore both Kirsty and Rhys broke free of the ropes , taking advantage of the fact that Kane could not bring himself to tie them tightly.What will Kirsty and Rhys do next??!!

Rikki,Henry , Tilly and Joe could not believe their eyes , moron Max had been trying to emullate Robbie , who he has a crush on, and invent a flying machine.Unfortunately he was not badly hurt , but luckily a piece of debris from the rubbish effort at inventing had broken loose and crashed on top of Posh and Saddo, as they kissed in the long grass.

''I killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb,'' said the broken bit of rubbish invention.

''You LEGEND'', replied a butterfly as it fluttered past.

The four teenagers cracked up laughing , both at Max and the two pathetic losers. Will Max carry on inventing or will he realise that he's no Robbie??!!

Date: 10/03/04 Author : Wanda

263

Norman doesn’t get far at all - as colleen’s thirst fir sex seemingly cannot be quenched. Thje old bat tackles Norman and sits atop him - so he can’t escape while she licks the reamining body chockie for his skin. Jade, Mark & Tasha are walking thru the caravan park to get to the beach when they see Norman in dire trouble. Tasha uses all that sense defance training her adopted parents gave her - along with the slight case of mental instabilty that she inherited from her biological mum - to charge at collen. Such is the force with which Tasha pushes the old bat that she (colleen) not only is removed from atop Noraman but colleen also rolled down a nearby hill, gaining speed as she went.

AS colleen rolled uncontrollably, her big old body acted like a steamroller when it flattened, and killed, josh and Seb, who were lovingly staring into each other’s eye - whilst lying in the middle of a dirt track.

"I killed posh josh & saddo Seb", said the still rolling colleen.

"You LEGEND", replied the multi coloured boob tube Tasha is wearing.

Norman was VERY grateful to Tasha for saving him, but the blonde goddess isn’t quite sure what to think when Norman goes to the house she shares with Mark & Jade that night and serenades Tash - expressing his undying love for her. How will Mr Shadbolt react when Miss Andrews tells him she’s ecstatically happy being the wife of Jade & Mark?

And will colleen EVER stopping rolling around the countryside?

Beth persuaded Alf to flaunt their relationship for everyone in town to see esp Rhys. When Mr Sutherland didn’t care that Beth had fallen for another man (Rhys was thinking too much of getting kane to think of "trivial" things like love. Because Beth has been so honest about her feeling for him to everyone in town, alf tells Beth about Greek Leah. Beth tells alf she loves him even MORE than ever b4 - because he is the one who silenced the whiney chef.

Not everyone is happy with Beth getting together with alf. Who decides to harm alf & Beth because of their relationship?

Helen & Theo Poulos arrived in town. They instantly wonder were their daughter is. The very-content-living-with-Jesse-&- Wanda VJ tells his grandparents that his mum has disappeared of the face of the Earth. What will be their reaction to the news?

Dopey Noah decides that he’s sick & tired of humans, and decides to "be" a koala. He climbs trees, eats gum leaves etc like all the other furry Aussie "bears" do. Will the other koalas accept Noah into their community?

Angie, Hyde & Hayley just CAN"T get enough of each other and just keep on having non stop sexy 3somes. When each of them doesn’t turn up for work for even 1 day in the next 6 weeks, they are ALL fired from their jobs. Will Hayley, Hyde & Angie care that they are now unemployed?

Silly Scott just won’t give up on the thought of Kimmy being the love of his life. Everyday, silly scoot sends Kimmy pretty, girly things that Hyde’s son increasingly adores. Soon after, Kimmy realises that he’s falling in love with silly Scott. Will Kimmy (who is the BEST-dressed "woman" in all of Summer Bay) act on his thoughts about Beth’s eldest son?

As Rhys is forever distracted from formulating a new plan against Kane (by Shelley who wanted DESPERATELY for Rhys to fall in love with her again), Kirsty decides that the only way to prize Kane away from Fi is the get him addicted to same drug she takes more than 30 times a day. Will Kirsty’s plan to get Kane as drug addled as her work?

Max keeps on trying to prove himself to Robbie. Because he knows Robbie likes that runs about in the bush naked at night, max decides the create an invention which instantly makes a person’s clothes invisible (and subsequently visible again) so if anyone (like the cops) gets very close to catching you naked you can simply use the machine to quickly make your attire appear again).

But by the times max is finished his invention, he doesn’t care about Robbie any more. Max now wants to use his new invention to see ALL of Tilly. Will the poison dwarf’s creation actually work?

PS -"compliments to the chef" about Angie, Hyde & Hayley

Date: 10/03/04 Author : JosieTash

[JosieTash]

wanda & i were never the biggest fans of Kirsty - both of us only rerally liked her becasue of kane ..... and btw, wanda would have KILLED me if i'd done that (drug etc) to kane ..... she adored him - as did i for the most part

i'm sure that you'll be GREAT with the writing - just think of silly, wierd stuff ... that was our only plan !!!

264

Colleen's fat old body carries on a-rolling until she hits the sea, with an almighty SPLASH !!!!!!A crowd gathers,

''it's a beached whale, call the coastguard!'' someone shouts .

''Nah its just a fat old hag covered in cholcolate'' replied someone else.

Colleen is unsure herself exactly what happened, one minute she was licking Norman and the next she was rolling down the hill and ended up in the sea.

She starts moaning , but then spots a familiar face in the crowd,

''yoo hoo , only me!! Maximus!!'' she shouts to moron Max who is trying to pretend he doesn't know her.

He accompanies her home and shows her his new invention.She is naturally very impressed , but they decide they must test it on someone since they don't know if it works yet.

The poisoned dwarf and his only friend spot josh and Saddo Seb , kissing under a tree, and persuade them to try the invention on.

Fortunately Max is a rubbish inventor and the contraption elecrocutes them both.

''I killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb!'' said the rubbish invention.

''You LEGEND'' said the tree.

Colleen and Max smirked as they walked away from the charred remains of Posh and Saddo.

''perhaps it needs a little work, sweetie-pie'' said the nauseating old bag to her only friend.

Beth and Alf are soooo happy together , but Rhys is too wrapped up on his revenge trip to care and besides due to his congenital problem , which renders him incapable of listening he hasn't noticed yet.

Mama Poulos however HAS noticed , she is deeply jealous because she has always carried a torch for Alf and usually they have a fling whenever she is in town , much to Pappa's relief!!

She soon forgets about her missing daughter as she tries to seduce Alf away from Beth....who will win the battle for Alf's heart and will Pappa remember to look for Leah??!!

Due to the sacking of most of the staff , SBH breaks up early for the holidays ...the kids are pleased , but the parents decide to send the kids for private tuition to the kindest , wisest man of the Bay , Scotty P. The kids love learning with the ever patient Scotty P a man so good that he is practically a living saint. But Joe, Tilly, Henry and Rikki do not turn up for lessons ...what are they up to??!!

Angie,Hayley and Hyde continue with their love-in , and even Noah is by now getting bored with it all despite being stoned senseless...what can Noah do??!!

Scott and Kimmy declare their love ...who is outraged by this ...why Dani ofcourse , she cannot stand that someone is wearing better outfits than her , and looks better than her in them ....she is desperate to put a stop to Kimmy's dress wearing activities....what will she do??!!

Kane refuses the drugs and tries to reason with Kirsty , but she will not listen. Rhys finds her and together they plot their worst plot to date, luckily Fi overhears them ....what do they plan to do to poor Kane, the brave hero??!!

Date: 11/03/04 Author : Wanda

265

Colleen decides that she REALLY hates being an old bag. She also realises that she is fallening in love with moronic max (and we’re not talking the love of a granny for her grandchild either). Because of these things, colleen asks Robbie & UK Leah to invent a machine to will make her young again. When the old bag asks the creative pair, Robbie & UK leah only agree invent such a machine if (the machine changed YOUNG) colleen waits on them hand & foot for a month (if there machines works). Will Robbie & UK Leah’s creation work? And will colleen then hold up her end of the bargain?<>

Alf decides to hang out with mama Polous behind Beth;s back, but he realises that this is SUCH a terrible thing to do, so she asks both woman to come to the diner. When they arrive he tells beth that he’s been caheating on her. Beth thinks about slapping alf and storming off, but she blikes him too much. Alf proposes that Mama Polous & Baeth compete in a sportung contest, of their combined choice, and he will ONLY go out with the winner. The 2 women agree the alf’sd plan, but which sport will they chose? And who will win?<o

Papa Polous begins to loook from Leah - but is distracted by somethind VERY weird that he sees. Papa rubs his eyes, thinking he’s dreaming, but what he’s seeing is VERY real. Wahat has Greek Leah’s dad seen?<

Tilly, Joe, Rikki & Henry decided that since SBH isn’t being used any more than that can grafitti and trash the place as much as they want. Joe & Tilly are doing most of damage, as rikki & Henry are more interested in kissing each other. Someone is watching the 4 teens. Did they like what Tilly & CO. to the school, or do they enjoy the kids trashing SBH?<o

Noah decided to try and outdo hyde - by attaching a long (fleash covered) sex toy either side of his real apoendage. Will hayley & Angie being impressed enough by noah to stop making love tpo hyde?<o thinks about sneaking into Kimmy’s house and merely just taking all of his highly fashionable girly clothes, but decides instead to steal, and then set fire to, kimmy’s clothes. Dani is about the throw a lit match onto the pile of clothes when Gypsy arrives and asks dani to stop the disgusting behaviour. Will dani listen to her lover?<o

Fi overhears that rhys & kirsty have install ed land mines all over summer bay. The mines will only go off if kane stands on them. Will Fi be able to reach kane in time to tell his info? <

Posh Josh & Saddo Seb are frollickingly about in what they think is a big glassed covered clearing, when the loud noise which gets louder and louder. Seconds later, a large projectile crahes into them and explodes - scattering the losers into a million pieces.<

"I killed posh josh & saado seb" said the projectile, which was fired from an arm tank.<

"You LEGEND", said the "Do Not Enter - Army Firing Range" sign which posh & saddo had ignored.<

Date: 11/03/04 Author : JosieTash

266

UK Leah and Robbie decide to play a trick on Colleen , because they decide that they can't stand the thought of her around them if their invention works. So they set about an invention that makes her speak only greek , apart from ''yoo hoo only me'', the only english phrase she is allowed to utter. They feel that if Leah is ever found that they will have found the perfect solution to her annoying problem ...she will be able to bore the pants off Colleen in her native tongue and thus leave everyone else alone.The invention is a complete success and Maxy is left distraught when his old hag of a friend can only communicate in greek.So Max buys a greek phrase book and spends his time learning the complicated language ...not very successfully.....will Colleen bore Pappa and Mamma Poulos to death or is this the added incentive they need to find there deep frozen daughter??!!

Mamma Poulos is preoccupied with her competition against Beth. They have to prepare a three course meal whilst wearing full fishing gear and knitting a jumper.

Beth wins easily and Mamma Poulos is distraught , especially when she is approached by a greek-speaking Colleen.She quickly finds Pappa and demands that the search for Leah continues in earnest.Will they find her??!!

Meanwhile Posh Josh and Saddo Seb sneaked into the diner to nick some crumbs off the floor and accidentally garrotted themselves on some soft pink fluffy wool that was hanging from a table.Dying instantly!

''I killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb,''said the soft pink fluffy wool.

''You LEGEND'' said a knitting needle.

Having been laughed out of the Palace , Noah was mooching around with a big spliff in his gob , when he saw the kids wrecking the school. This amused him greatly and having never done anything remotely rebellious in his life he decided to join in. The kids did not appreciate his assistance however , so they nicked his spliff and locked him in a store cupboard ...there he saw......??!!

Dani just can't stop her viscious vindictive little hand from striking the match and all Kimmys clothes go up in smoke.

Gypsy is outraged and demands that Dani make ammends ....what does she make Dani do??!!

Kane steps on to a landmine , but luckily although he is badly injured he survives. The army are alerted by Fi and knowing of our heros wonderful brave reputation they are only too happy to help. Kane refuses hospital treatment , being so brave and Fi tends his wounds at home.He is now desperately worried for Kirsty , despairing that a cure will ever be found for her drug addled mind. His saintly brother comforts him and offers up prayers for Kirsty.Rhys continues to believe Kirsty's drug-induced lies , oblivious to everything else ...what will Kirsty and Rhys do to hurt our beloved hero next??!!

Date: 12/03/04 Author : Wanda

267

Colleen speaking (virtually) only in greek IS a fantastic incentive for amam & papa polous to find their daughter. Surely someone in the bay swho something, they thought. When no one in the bay tells them, a thing, they invite the mafia connected relatives into the Bay. The mafia guys question everyone in town. Will alf be able to keep the information about Greek Leah from them? Or will he crack under the pressure?

Noah couldn’t believe it when he found a large cannister which on the label says it will reverse the effects of the drugs kirsry is hooked on - and rtn her to the woman who deeply love kanes. Will Noah be able to escape the locked cupbaord? And will he be able to get kirsty to take the drug he’s found?

As Henry & Rikki continue kissing, Joe & Tilly decided that, because Rhys is being SUCH a pain that they’ll trash every inanimate object that holds ANY meaning to him, starting with all the memorabilia he has from his time with the Sydney Swans Aussie Rules football team. Once the pair of mischeivoius teens had done this, the set about destoying a place VERY dear to Rhys’ heart (because of his AFL career), the SCG (sydney cricket ground). Tilly & Joe plan to blow up the ENTIRE sporting complex, but will they succeed?

Gypsy tells Dani that, if things are to go back to the way they were, her lover must join the local theatre group (the one Kimmy’s in) and accept the smallest, most insignificant role in their latest production. Will Dani comply?, or will she STILL try to make herself the centre of attention (as usual) by going for - and scoring - the lead role?

Posh Josh & Saddo Seb decided to follow dani to the local theatre, because they know kimmy will be there. Boyth losers want to check out kimmy’s rather unique genitals. They go into the men;s toloiets and hide in their - waiting for kimmy to change. When he does, kimmy throws the crop top he was wearing (accidentally) against the wall. The not very noisy sound of the crop top colliding his the wall is enough to burst the eardrums of josh & seb. This kills the patheteic idiots.

"We killed Posh Josh & Saddo Seb" says the crop top and the wall.

"You LEGENDS" said the nearby urinals.

Kirsty & Rhys decide to psychologically hurt kane (instead of all the physical stuff they’d previously). Kirsty records a message on video for Kane. On the tape Kirsty tells kane its all HIS fault that she needs to take the drugs (because of everything he’s put her family through). Kane tries hard to keep positive about all this ("I know I can get her kirsty back") but he also hates that he just might be the reason for the currently drug addled kirsty being the way she is. Will the video message convinvce kane to give up on EVER getting the REAL kirsty back? Or will what kirsty had to say merely strenghten his resolve?

Date: 12/03/04 Author : JosieTash

268

The Greek Mafia suspect that Alf knows something but he is a strong Aussie guy and is not scared of them.....until they threaten to tell Colleen that he has feelings for her.Alf is now terrified as well as nauseated by the thought of Colleen talking her revolting greek baby talk to him and trying to have her wicked way with him....will he crack under this extreme pressure and reveal Greek Leah's whereabouts??!!

Noah decidedes to sample the antidote, before giving it to Kirsty,unfortunately it makes him so high that he forgets what he is supposed to do and stays happily with his imaginary friends in the cupboard....will he remember when he comes down??!!

Despite ruining every single thing which holds meaning to Rhys , including the stadium, Rikki and Henry decide that they are wasting their time because the Kane-hating obsession means that Rhys hasn't noticed!! What can they do to get his attention??!!

Dani tries so hard NOT to be the centre of attention , but she just cannot resist the temptation and auditions for the major role. Gypsy is livid until she realises that Kimmy scored the leading lady role over Dani.Dani is so jealous and becomes obsessed with winning the role away from Kimmy by fair means or foul. Gypsy is disgusted by her girlfriends self-centred attitude and vows to have nothing more to do with her.Is this the end for the lesbian couple....and what will Dani do next??!!

Posh Josh and Saddo Seb are trying to sneak a peak at Kimmy's extra bits when the love struck Silly Scott walks into Kimmy''s dressing room, they run and hide not wanting to be seen perving , but fortunately they forgot about the tiny step down in the corridor. They fall down the tiny step and die instantly their weak bodies hit the ground.

''I killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb '' said the tiny step.

''You LEGEND'' replied the door handle.

Kane is distressed and distraught , blaming himself for Kirsty's condition . SuperFlynn, Wanda and Fi try talking to him and comforting him, taking turns to hug the poor boy. Even his saintly brother tries to show him it isn't his fault. Everyone is naturally relieved that Noah is nowhere to be found , as his rubbish counselling skills would be sure to push poor Kane right over the edge....help comes from an unexpected source , who finally gets Kane to see that this is not his fault??!!

Date: 13/03/04 Author : Wanda

[JosieTash]

The Phoenix, glad you're enjoye these CLASSIC tales - and hope you like what happens to Leah !!!

belgshep, i KNOW you'll be FANTASTIC (with the writing) !!!!

269

Alf weighs up his options and realises that greek leah going "ten to the dozen" is a MUCH better than having colleen whisper sweet nothings in his ear. He then twells the Mafia ppl that greek leah's is in the diner freezer. they gets her out of there, but when greek leah has thawed out, she's a VERY different person to the one she was before alf threw her in the freezer. Is Greek Leah much better or far worse than she was before?

Noah does eventuall remember what the pills are really for, but he';s taken SOOOOO many of them that when he shows kane & super flynn how many pills are left they are not sure if they'll be enough to rtn kirsty to the person who adores kane. AS super flyyn calculates if they are enough, kane & his great mate mark have to find a way to stop noah from trying to conmsume the rest of the antidote. Mark's wife Jade whispers a plan in her good frioend Kane's ear. what's Jade's out there plan to stop noah from trying to consume the rest of the substance which should turn kirsty back into her normal self?

Tilly, Joe, Henry & Rikki realise that they need to focus on the only other thing that rhys cares about (apart from hating kane) - Dani. Although the 4 of them (partic Tilly) like Gyspy, they kidnap Rhys' darling daughter. Soon after, Mr Sutherland receives some photos of a bound, gagged and naked Dani. Will the pics be enough to rile Rhys enough so he pays attenion to something else than thinking of new ways to destroy Kane?

Despite being in love with each other, posh josh & saddo seb REALLY want to see the photos of the nude, kidnapped Dani. they go to the van park and wait til everyone has gone out before they go to sneak in the house to look at the photos. What the pair DON"T know if that Robbie & UK Leah was installed a new security system to the house. As soon as the 2 losers walk thru the door, they are instantly vaporised by the high powered laser that is activated if a security code isn't entered to the key pad on each ebntrance to the house.

"I killed Posh Josh & Saddo Seb" said the new security system.

"you LEGEND", said the sutherland/hunter house TV.

Gypsy decides that she has had enough of Dani's selfishness - and the redhead doesn't even care when she hears that Dani has been kidnapped. Everyonme wonders why Gypsy has finally given up on Dani, but the redhead keeps things close to her chest. AT the same time however, Gypsy begins to secretly seduce the person she's nopw in love with - Sally. As well as loving her best friend on an emotional level, Gypsy REALLY likes, and wants to kiss, Flynn's wife's BIG breasts. The redhead then finally works up the courage to tell Sally how she feels. How will the well endowed doctor's wife react to Gypsy's revelation?

Kane CAN"T beleieve it when Shelley (of all ppl) approaches him, and tells him that none of waht's happened is his fault. She tells him that she began giving kirsty the drug but now realises that kirsty was FAR better a person when she was with kane than she was without him. Shelley then vows to help Kane in his quest to get the REAL kirsty back. Kane is suspicious of Shelley. He wondered is she just pretending to be on his side, whilst preparimg to stab him in the back? or is Shelley TRULY being genuine in trying to assist kane?

Date: 13/03/04 Author : JosieTash

270

Summer Bay is rejoicing , there is singing in the streets ...Leah's vocal chords were damaged in the thawing out process and she is now completely mute!!

Leah is naturally distressed and frustrated at having to scribble everything down , but everyone else is overjoyed that her shrieky voice is no more !

Leah asks superFlynn for his help....what will superFlynn do ...as a doctor he feels he should help her , but everyone is soooo happy that she cannot speak ...what does superFlynn do??!!

Jade asks UK Leah and Robbie to analyse the contents of the antidote as there is not enough left for Kirsty.The precious pills are scientifically analysed while Noah is kept permanently stoned so he does not consume any more. There is bad news , although they have identified all the ingrediants , and thus can reproduce the antidote , one of the ingrediants is the extract from a rare plant which is found only in one place. It is found in the most dangerous and inhospitable part of the deep bush a hundred kilometres from Summer Bay...the task of retrieving it will be very dangerous.

Naturally our hero Kane immediately volunteers for the job and Tasha with her bush expertise offers to accompany him. Mark bravely decides to accompany his good friend and wife and they set off into dangerous territory ....what will happen next??!!

Rhys has become so obsessed with his hatred of Kane that he can see,hear and feel nothing else , he can't even remember what triggered this obsessive hatred but he is so consumed by it that he doesn't care.

Dani cannot believe that darling daddy Rhys is ignoring her plight , she is so livid at not being the centre of the universe that her passion gives her superhuman strength and she breaks free of her shackles. She vows to side with Kane and teach Rhys a lesson in her importance ...she will not be ignored!!

Meanwhile Shelley is equally angry with Rhys ...she had hoped to get his attention now that Beth was openly flaunting her relationship with Alf ...but Rhys's small brain and congenital inability to listen make multi-tasking impossible for the obsessed Rhys.She also vows to take Kane's side against Rhys.

Mother and daughter meet up to plan their revenge on Rhys ...what do Shelley and Dani do??!!

Meanwhile Rhys is livid that he cannot find Kane to 'teach him a lesson'', as he is unaware that Kane has gone in search of a remedy for his beloved Kirsty. Rhys is carrying a big stick and banging it against the floor , trees , fences etc as he walks round Summer Bay insanely muttering to himself and looking for Kane.

Saddo and Posh are looking at the naked pictures of Dani when they see Rhys approaching ...his face is purple and contorted with rage , his eyes bulging and a big vein in his forehead throbbing.

They think he is angry with them for looking at the pictures and both pathetic creatures die of fright , their weak hearts stopping simultaneously at the sight of Rhys's bulging eyes.

''We killed Saddo Seb and Posh Josh'' say Rhys's bulging eyeballs.

''You LEGENDS'' replied the vein throbbing in his forehead.

Sally and Gypsy are having a lovely time pleasuring each other when someone sees them and threatens to tell Flynn....who and why??!

Date: 15/03/04 Author : Wanda

271

SuperFlynn knows that his number one priority should be his immefdiate paitent, but he also enjoys not having to listen to Greek Leah’s constant shreiking, so noy only does he tell the whiney chef that her vocals cords are irreparirably damaged, but he invites uni pal, Doctor Cahrlotte Beaumont (from All Saints Western General Hospital)in the city) to give Grrek Leah a 2nd opinion. Charlotte isn’t so sure that she should go along with SuperFlynn’s lie, but then Dr Saunders plays her a tape of Greek Leah in full cry. Will Dr Beaumont concur with SuperFlynn’s untruth?

As Kane, Tash & Mark go deeper into deep, dark forrest to get the substance they had need to cure kirsty, the trio encounters a veryu unique (never seen beofre) tribe of a part human/part dinosaur species. From the waste down, the creature have the legs etc of a small T-Rex, but they also have the head, torso & arms of a human. All of the unique species weren't wearing any clothes, incl. the woman (who has the chest features to human females.

All 3 were in awe of the unheard of species, partic Mark, who LOVES dinosuars. Despite our trio caution, one of the creatures just sees Kane. This is BAD news as ALL the brainy, athletic species have seen what Kane did to Dani in the news, and now that he is in "their turf" (where they thought no one would EVER find them), they find to attack Kane. The creatures surround Kane, Tasha & Mark. In this the end for our adventurpous, heroic trio?

Dani & Shelley decided to trick Rhys. They tell him a reporter from a public affairs show is comming to the Bay as part of a campaign to rid the safe satreets of ppl like kane, but the journalist - Shannon Reed, who's back in Oz, with gf Mandy Thomas, to get some new inmspiration from her next novel - is really on Kane's side, and intends to question rhys about his obsesion with destroying the person rhys used to call the son he never had.

When Shannon starts quyizzing rhys, he gets VERY angry at her (because of what he thought the interview was to be about). Rhys then completely looses it. He punches Shannon in the head, and knocks her backwards into a tree. Mandy rushes to her lover (knowing full well that the "woman" lying bedside her is NOT the real Shannon but a perfect robotic copy, thanks to UK LEAH & Robbie) and starts crying. SHe then screams that Rhys has killed Shannon. WIll this "death" end rhys' obsession with kane? and will shelley's ex ever discover the truth about thje robot?

posh josh & saddo Seb go to scan the pics of the naked, kidnapped Dani into their computer, but the motion of turning of the computer minotor shatters all of josh's bones, and he seb to the floor, whose bones the shatter. they both die.

"I killed josh & seb" said computer minotor.

"You LEGEND" replied nearby printer.

The drug addled kirsty threatens to tell flynn about sally & Gypsy - if sally doesn't let kisrty "have" superFlynn. what will happen next?

Date: 15/03/04 Author : JosieTash

272

Dr Charlotte Beaumont is undecided ...so she goes for advice to the cleverest ,

most compassionate man on the planet....Scotty P.

Scotty tells her that he cannot tell her what to do , but that she must be able to live with whatever decision she makes.

Dr. Charlotte thinks about this and decides that her hypocratic oath as a doctor must take precidence and ...hehehe....since she doesn't live in Summer Bay she won't have to listen to the Greek chef anyway.

She is about to tell Leah how to cure her speech problem , when the consultation is interrupted with a phone call ...she has been offered a lucrative top hospital job at the hospital in Yabbie Creek ....she really wants this job.

This all puts Leah's problem in a different perspective ...if she takes the job then curing Leah will cause her huge problems with being hated in Summer Bay , not to mention having to listen to the damned woman's awful voice.....what will Charlotte do???!!!

The heroic trio deep in the jungle fear for their lives as the dinosaur people surround them , then one of them speaks , telling Kane how they know he didn't mean to hurt Dani and she had played on the sympathy vote for far too long , and how they admired all the heroic deeds he had done.

Kane,Mark and Tash are stunned but relieved and they ask the dinosaur people for help in their quest for the plant . The dinosaur people agree , but first they ask Kane for a favour ....what do they want him to do???!!!

Rhys obviously blames the ''death '' of Shannon on Kane , his obsession blinding him to any logic , but when the robot starts making whirring mechanical noises and he realises it is only a robot his anger grows even deeper, he now thinks that Kane set the whole thing up.He cannot listen to reason due to his congenital problem which renders him incapable of listening and he stamps off muttering about conspiracies.

Mandy takes a photo of her girlfriend Shannon using a photographic flash , fortunately Posh and Saddo are walking past at the time and the flash blinds their sensitive eyes.Squealing in agony and unable to see they run around like headless chickens until eventually they bump into each other , the tiny impact is enough to kill them both.

''I killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb'' said the flash.

''You LEGEND'' said the camera lens.

Dani and Shelley sit in the diner both whining on about how they NEED Rhys to pay them some attention , neither listening to each other but droning on anyway.How do they decide to get Rhys's attention??!!

Sally is soooo happy with Gypsy that she tells Kirsty to do what she wants ...and she warns her as she leaves that superFlynn wouldn't believe her anyway....will Kirsty tell him , and does he believe her???!!!

Date: 16/03/04 Author : Wanda

273

Charlotte speaks to SuperFlynn, as well as some other medical colleagues, after

which she tells Greek Leah that her vocal chords can be repaired- but like VJ's hearing operation the procedure is TOATLLY cutting edge and it only is available in America. Greek Leah takes Dr. Beaumont's advice and decides to go to the United States - where there is NO such procedure, despite the words of Charlotte and her overseas colleagues, who has been convincingly lying to the previously whiney chef. There is a massive crowd of ppl from the bay to see Greek Leah of at the airport. They all appear teary eyed as the wife of the late Vinnie Patterson exits the departure lounge, but they openly rejoice when Greek lea's plane takes off. What will happen when the currently voiceless chef discovers that EVERYONE has been lying to her?

When the baysiders rtn to their seaside town, they throw a HUGE party for Charlotte, who has - at the very least - got Greek Leah out of their hair for a little. Dr Beaumont liked that most ppl Bayside excepted the same sex couples in town - Shannon & mandy (who've decided to stay around for a while) and Sally & Gypsy. Indeed, being that way inclined herself, Charlotte sees a woman she hopes in "the one". Who is Dr Beaumont looking at?

The leader of the tribe of dinosaur ppl (a auburn haired female named Asuka) told Kane, Tash & Mark that 2 of the teenagers of her species, Jaina & Jacen, wanted to branch out into the "real" world & live amongst humans. Asuka asked Kane (and his friends) to introduce, and keep an eye out, for Jaina & Jacen. Kane, Tasha & Mark agreed to do so, and several members of the unique species (of which there is 56 in total ? incl. Jaina & Jacen) found, and gave the SB trio, the missing ingredient. The 3 human & 2 dinosaur ppl the exited the deep, dark woods. What will happen when Jaina & Jacen encounter humans other than (already GREAT friends) Kane, Tasha & Mark?

Shelley & Dani decide to take advantage of Rhys' obsessive nature. Dani rtns to their house with her face, and body, covered in bruises. Rhys sees Dani like this and suspects than Kane has attacked his daughter AGAIN. The eldest Sutherland daughter, totally in tears (what a surprise) tells Rhys that it wasn't kane who hurt her, it was SHELLEY !!!!!!!!!! Rhys' minuscule brain can't handle 2 vendettas at once, so he stops seeking revenge on kane, and begins her relentless pursuit of his ex wife. What Rhys doesn't know is that Shelley & Dani had staged the whole thing - Dani's injuries etc are fake.

As Rhys continues harassing Shelley (in doing so at the giving her some kind of attention ? which is what she wanted), Dani begins to HATE the plan ? Rhys is spending no time with her at all!!!!!!!!!!! Will Dani tell Rhys the truth, or is her friendship with kane strong enough (than her own self-importance) to let Rhys keep on obsessing now about Shelley?

In a meadow, Saddo Seb is plucking the petals off a flower saying "he loves me" (about josh) with every petal. After saddo plucked a third petal, and

let it go the wind slightly changes and this petal hits josh on the nose, whish kills him. Saddo Seb is SOOOO shocked that his heart stopped beating and he dies too.

"I killed posh josh & saddo Seb," said the flower petal.

"You LEGEND" said a nearby dingo.

Kirsty decides to ignore Sally and proceeds to tell superflynn. The Doc tells her he (secretly) knows about Sally & Gypsy ? he enjoys watching the 2 girls kissing - and doing other sexy stuff. The drug addled Kirsty asks superFlynn if she can be his girl, but Flynn says he is in love with another, and he's NOT talking about sally. Who is superFlynn's mystery woman?

Date: 17/03/04 Author : JosieTash

[JosieTash]

The Phoenix, weel we had to shut Leah up somehow (wanda & i are soooo not fans of the greek chef .... but thanks to DWTS, we LOVE Ada)

belgshep, i LOVED cvrating the dino ppl .... and agree that wanda's descriptions of Ryhs are just the best !!!

I suggests using the previous chapter (s) as a "base" and going from there ..... i know it's VERY Oprah, but "You Go, Girl !!!!!"

274

Leah goes to the very expensive private Ear , Nose and Throat Clinic , where the staff recognise her from V.J's trip to USA for his hearing operation.....luckily they spot her as she reaches the entrance and recognise her. They send her off on a very time consuming wild goose chase looking for varios non-existent specialists all over the USA. They laugh as she heads for the airport to catch an internal flight to the other side of America.....will Leah discover their ruse??!!

Dr. Beaumont spots Dani and makes a bee-line for her. Dani is instantly receptive to any sort of attention and flirts like mad , quickly forgetting that she is supposed to be heart-broken over her split with Gypsy ....will Dr Beaumont be put off by her self-centred character or can Dani pull the wool over her eyes??!!

The dinosaur people lead our brave trio out of the bush and say good bye to Jaina and Jacen , who are coming with Kane, Mark and Tasha to Summer Bay.They get some strange looks as they travel home , but our hero glares at the nosy people and they daren't say anything.Jaina and Jacen are going to stay at Irene's with Kirsty and Kane and ofcourse Irene is soooo wellcoming , giving them both big hugs ....but how will others in the Bay react??!!

Shelley is now as sick as Dani of Rhys obsessing over her .....she wants loving not obsessive hatred so she quickly reminds him of Kane , and just the mention of his name sends him into a mad frenzy. Once his eyeballs had retracted back to normal , and his face lost its purple hue , Shelley told him that she had THE perfect revenge plan , but she would only tell it to him if he sleeps with her. Can Rhys stop foaming at the mouth and ranting for long enough to satisfy Shelley in exchange for the plan??!!

Posh Josh and Saddo are trying to spy through Irene's window , because Josh's mum has told them that she thinks there is something newsworthy going on. After getting turned on by watching Kirsty and Kane kissing the sick duo peak through a gap in the curtains of the next bedroom, it appears empty so they decide to climb in through the window. Just as they start to kiss , they see Jaina and Jacen coming in through the door .....the sight of the dinosaur people is too much for their lillylivers and fainthearts and they both instantly die of shock!

''We killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb'' said the dinosaur people.

''You LEGENDS'' said Irene as she brought in their fresh towels .....will this make the odd duo popular with Summer Bay residents??!!

Flynn is secretly attracted to Angie ....she is his complete opposite ....as evil as he is good and he soooo wants her to be his sexy dominatrix ...but he is too scared to approach the formidable lady . Will he be content with mere fantasy or will he tell her his true feelings??!!

Sally and Gypsy see Dani and Dr Charlotte Beaumobnt together , and despite Dani's best efforts to make Gypsy jealous she is relieved to find that she no longer has any feelings for the self obsessed little princess. Dani , wanting to be the centre of EVERYONE'S attention throws a hissy fit and the good lady doctor is not impressed....has Dani blown her chances??!!

Silly Scott H has got lost on his way from the shower block , where he and Kimmy were admiring each others pecs,to the main house at the caravan park ...will anyone take pity on the moron and help him find his way??!!

Date: 17/03/04 Author : Wanda

275

Lots of doctors all over the United States lie to Greeek Leah, and pass her onto the next specasilist, until on REAL do-gooder fixes the whiney chef’s vocal chord problem. Greek leah is now (literrly) in full cry. Will she seek revenge on all the Yankee doctors, or will she heading for Summer bay first?

Charlotte’s a little put off by dani’s nature but decides to stick with her for a while (at least until they’ve slept together). Dr Beaumont’s patience is REALLY tested by Dani’ outburst about Gypsy not being jealous. Indeed, Charlotte decides that this is the last straw - dani might look pretty but she'a total pain.

Dr Beaumont instead turns her attentuion towards the 2 dino ppl teens, Jaina & Jacen. What's her interest though - medical (their internal make-up etc) or something less professional?

Speaking of Jaina & Jacen, alf is pleased that he no longer the only dinosaur in town. Robbie &UK Leah become instant friends with the dino ppl teens. Most of the townsfolk seem to like Jacen & Jaina, but Hyde & Kimmy HATE them - becasue the dino ppl are wierder (genetically) than they are. Hyde & Kimmy put aside theri differences to destroy Jacen & Jaina. What's the Hyde clan's plan?

Rhys' small brain is in total confusio - kane vendetta v sex. his brain overloads & rhys collapses.

superFlynn says that rhys need a new brain, but will the doc install a "better" brain (which will rid rhys of his obsession) or keep rhys the same as b4?

b4 he makes the decison, flynn goes to angie's door - but he chickens out and goes to leave.

as he does he collides into posh josh & saddo seb, who then fall onto angie's soft green lawn.

"i killed josh & seb" saif the grass

"you LEGEND" said angie's door.

angiue hears the commition outside. she exits her house and sees flynn walking away. Angie goes after him. When she catches up to flynn, she SHOCKS him with a surprising revelation about her self. What has angie said?

Everyone sees silly scott wandering outside aimlessly, but they all just assume that silly scott is being his usual stupid self. Someone does decide to help him (eventually). someone most unexcepted. who helps silly scott?> and do they want somethong in rtyn from hium?

Date: 17/03/04 Author : JosieTash

276

Greek Leah first starts annoying all the doctors in USA but she is sooo loud that she is deported for noise violation ....she returns to SB expecting a warm reception and is most upset that everyone appears to be shunning her. And when Alf tells her that he has replaced her at the Diner with the two dino-people she is livid. She starts shrieking at the top of her voice ....can anyone stop her??!!

Dr Charlotte definitely has more than a scientific interest in the dino-people and Jaina and Jaicen have NO inhibitions ...they move into the beautiful doctors house ....but who will try and spoil their love nest??!!

The Hydes decide to inform the worlds press of the presence of the dino-people , but Irene sees the emails on the school computer and intercepts them and warns them. It is decided that they must disguise there dinosaur features in case the press come ....how will they manage this with their long tails ??!!

Our hero Kane volounteers for the life saving translant on Rhys.....but his brain is far too intelligent and evolved to be of any use , even a tiny piece of it would be rejected.Flynn decides that there is no brain available small enough to fit with Rhys's inadequate nerve supply , so it is decided to give him electro shock treatment ....superFlynn quite enjoys administrating this procedure....will it work or will Rhys's tiny obsessive brain fry??!!

Angie asks Flynn to come in and then dons full Dominatrix gear seducing the doctor beyond his wildest dreams .... will this affair ruin superFlynn's squeaky clean reputation??!!

Dani sees Silly Scott wandering outside , she decides that even his attention is better than none and calls him over. But Silly Scott has eyes only for Kimmy.Dani is livid and stamps her delicate little foot in temper. A flake of nail polish comes flying off and hits Saddo Seb in the temple , piercing his thin skull and killing him. Posh Josh dies of grief a second later.

''I killed Saddo Seb and Posh Josh,'' said the sliver of nail polish .

''You LEGEND'' said Dani's foot.

Date: 16/03/04 Author : Wanda

277

Virtually everyone is the bay tries their best to stop Greek Leah from her current whiney overload. Alf then calls in the "big gun" - saintly Scotty P. Will Kane’s kind hearted, amazing bro be able to calm Greek Leah, or is she even beyond his mighty powers?

The still drug addled Kirsty wants to destroy everything which kane holds dear to him, incl. his new friends, Jaina & Jacen - esp as their species gave kane the rare plant needs to complete the ingredients from the cure, which is being perfected by Robbie & UK Leah at the moment.

Kirsty breaks into Kane’s e-mail account and send a msg to the big game hunters of the world about the 2 dino ppl being in summer bay. When jacen, Jaina & their sexy new lover Charlotte see the e-mail, they don’t think for a second think it’s kane who sent the msg. Indeed, the dino ppl decided to Kirsty a lesson. What have Jaina, Jacen & Dr Charlotte (who LOVES all the new sexual techniques etc involved in making love with both a male AND a female member of the dinosaur ppl species) got in store for Kirsty? And will kane find out before the trio commerce their attack?

Meanwhile, most ppl is town were telling the dino ppl to cover out their non human features, and Jacen & Jaina indeed began wearing BIG pants - to hide their tales, but the dino duo changed their minds, after talking to kane about accepting who you are and non being able to change some peoples’ (think Rhys in terms of kane) perspective. When the press arrived, thy are amazed by Jaina & Jacen’s unique bodies. Will this lead to a media storm, with every man and his dog from all over the world wanting to speak to the dino teens, or will the ppl of Earth respect that Jaina & Jacen just want to lead a simple life, with new lover Dr Beaumont, in Summer Bay?

SuperFlynn tries to "kick start" Rhys’ minuscule brain, but when the doc is distracted momentarily (see below) he shocks Rhys’ brain a little too much, and turns Mr Sutherland into a completely brain dead (but still able to walk and talk somehow) person. Super Flynn knows that Rhys wasn’t very bright anyway, but can the doc convince everything else that nothing has changed?

Sally’s ex was indeed distracted during the operation on Rhys because of his secret sexual encounters with dominatrix Angie. SuperFlynn thinks that ppl will hate that he’s having such kinky sex with the woman they despise, but this time, all of colleen’s meddling in others affairs is to the doc’s advantage.

Indeed, after Colleen "spills the beans" to EVERYOINE, superFlynn is greeted with a HUGE round of applause when he goes to the diner, as ALL the townsfolk think it’s GREAT that he has got of his high (moralistic) horse - because he is bedding the leather clad Angie. The Doc wonders what Miss Russel’s daughter thinks about all of this. Does Tasha, wife to Mark & Jade, approve or disapprove of superFlynn & Angie’s kinky relationship?

Dani asks Robbie & UK Leah to create a human like robot for her - one who will listen to everyone she says and to whom dani will be very centre of its universe. The creative pair agrees to make the robot for her - after they’ve finished perfecting the cure for Kirsty. Dani is livid that someone else’s needs are being put before hers. How will Dani seek revenge on Robbie & UK Leah?

Jesse & Wanda’s first wedding anniversary is fast approaching. Jesse tells his wonderful, awesome wife that her wish is his command, ie he’ll get her ANY gift (no matter how expensive) or do ANYTHING for her (no matter the physical etc cost). What, if anything, will Wanda ask of her hunky hubby?

Since Angie with is now with superFlynn, Hayley has Hyde (and both his appendages) to herself. Hyde LOVES bedding the energetic, young Miss Smith, but often she is sooooo voracious, that he sweats rather a lot during sex.

Indeed, after Hyde wipes his brow following another "session" with Hayley, he flicks the sweat of his hand. One or two perspiration particles go out if the window, where they hit the spying josh & Seb on the nose & shoulder respectively. Both losers die instantly after being struck by such "deadly" projectiles.

"We killed Posh Josh & Saddo Seb," said Hyde’s sweat.

"You LEGENDS", replied Hayley’s shapely backside.

Date: 18/03/04 Author : JosieTash

278

Saintly Scotty P ...wearing earplugs for safety reasons...decides to try hypnotherapy. He tries to hypnotise Leah into behaving like a mouse , unfortunately instead of being ''quiet like a mouse'' , Leah now interjects very loud squeaks into her conversation and eats copious amounts of cheese !!!!!!

Scotty P is not one to give up though and after quietly and serenely meditating , obviously far away from Leah , he comes up with another possible solution...what has good,wise Scotty P come up with??!!

Dr Charlotte and the teen dino -people want to kidnap Kirsty and give her a good old fashioned hiding to teach her a lesson. Kane finds out and rushes to stop them , because he knows it's only the drug making her so evil. He runs with his superhuman speed and catches them up begging them not to hurt his darling wife. When they see his huge love for her and his genuine concern they agree to leave her alone. But Kirsty saw Kane from the top of the hill and started throwing rocks and boulders at him. The dino-teens fielded away the rocks with their tails , but one jagged rock hit Kane hard on the head. Despite bleeding profusely , Kane said he was fine and bravely carried on trying to reason with Kirsty. But Dr Charlotte could see he was injured far worse than he was letting on and practically dragged him to the hospital for treatment.He was extremely brave and went home after being bandaged where his good friend Fi was able to give him a big hug and look after him.

Kirsty watched as Dr Charlotte helped Kane away from her , something stirred within her , a memory of ....what was it ...was it love ...she shook her head dazed and confused at the conflicting emotions of love and hate ....what will happen to Kirsty next??!!

Scotty P has banned all intrusive reporting on the dino people . but being a great believer in the freedom of speech and the press as well as individual liberty he persuaded the dino-teens to do a daily diary for the people of the world to enjoy ....all proceeds going to charity naturally , Mark volounteered to help them with the diary ofcourse!!!!! Is the diary sucessful??!!

On his way out of the surgery Rhys tripped over and bumped his head....the last remaining few braincells kick in and miraculously start to multiply ...will Rhys regain his allbeit small brain capacity and remember that his son-in-law is a man he loves and admires??!!

Dani is again left feeling angry after not being the centre of attention , and when Rhys sends her away from him in the middle of a ''me,me,me'' whining session , because he is trying to recover his memory she gets REALLY angry and hurls a particularly unattractive headscarf in temper. The headscarf flutters softly across the surfclub and hits Posh Josh in the chest , his pathetic ribs crack and pierce his weak heart ...he dies instantly. Saddo Seb feebly tries to ressussitate him using mouth to mouth , but after strenuously blowing into his lovers mouth a couple of times he dies of a lack of oxygen combined with exhaustion.

''I killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb '' said the hideous head scarf.

''You LEGEND'' replied a tiny wiggly bee as it buzzed past!!!!!

Wanda thinks long and hard about a gift from her darling hubby , Jesse. But she is so happy and contented that she can't think of ANYTHING that could make her life more complete. So she tells Jesse to surprise her ...what will Jesse come up with??!!

Silly Scott Hunter sees the hideous headscarf and decides to give it to Kimmy as a present....what will Kimmy think of this tasteless headgear and how will Dani react to having it nicked??!!

Date: 19/03/04 Author : Wanda

[JosieTash]

The Phoenix, literally ANYTHING can cause trouble in thes tales .... that's wahat's so great bout them !!!

belgshep, sound like chapter is going well - i look fwd to reading it when you post

279

Saintly Scotty P is heading towards the diner, to tell Greek Leah his tell when she collapses whilst going ten to the dozen in Alf’s ear (about how annoying young VJ is being). The whiney chef doesn’t believe Charlotte & superFlynn when they tell her that her own body hates her annoying, obsessive talking - Dr Beaumont says that Leah heart stopped beating from a time because it couldn’t stand her whining.

Scotty P arrived at the hospital and Greek Leah pleads with him to demand that superfFlynn & Charlotte tell her the truth. When Saintly Scotty speaks to the 2 doctors, they show him the medical evidence to back up their theory (constant whining will KIL Greek Leah). Does Scotty P believe superFlynn & (dino ppl LOVER) Charlotte?

Even with ALL of those drugs in her system, Kirsty realises that not only does Kane REALLY REALLY love her but she LOVES him as well. Kirsty goes to Robbie & UK Leah, who are taking a short break from perfecting the antidote. When the trio re-enter the lab the pair are creative genius' have been working, Robbie & UK Leah are shocked to discover that their nearly perfected antidote have been stolen. With Kirsty getting more distraught by the minute, will Wanda’s daughter & Beth’s son discover who "borrowed" the creation?

Saintly Scotty P, and charities EVERYWHRE, are ecstatic when ppl over the world (of every race, religion etc) eagerly request for the "Dino Daily Diary" (co-writteen by Jaina, Jacen & Mark) to be included in their local newspapers. Indeed within a week of Scooty P’s dairy suggestion 99.9999999999999% of the world’s population are reading about the adventures of Jaina & Jacen (via either newspaper or the Net). Many ppl write to the dino teens, asking various questions and making comments etc (esp that they want to meet Jaina & Jacen), and the rather unique teenagers - with the help of their lover Charlotte and friends (like Mark, Tasha, Kane & Fi) - always find the time to respond to EVERY letter and e-mail.

While all this is happening, Jade begins to think that Mark & Tasha are spending a little bit too much time with the dino teens. Kirsty’s twin thinks that all the time spent her spouses are spending with Jacen & Jaina mightn’t be for purely professional reasons. Jade decides to spy on Mark & Tasha whilst they are working, and is distressed by what she sees. What causes Jade so much pain?

AS soon as Rhys’ brain is operating at its maximum capacity, Rhys goes to Irene’s house, where kane is helping with the dino diary fan mail. Kane is suspicious when he sees Rhys (thinking the Kirsty’s dad will try to hurt him once more). Mr Sutherland then surprises Kane (and everyone) by giving Kirsty’s hubby is BIG hug. Rhys then, for the first time in ages, called Kane the son he never had.

Everyone in the room (incl Fi, Mark, Jaina, Charlotte & Irene) rejoices that Rhys & kane are friends again. Someone unexpected (not Dani, Shelley or Beth) however isn’t happy with what’s happening. Who is it?

Dani’s "me, me, me" insanity continues when she hires a printing firm to make a life size cardboard cut outs of everyone in Summer Bay, so Dani can be at the Centre of her Bayside universe anytime she wants. Dani discovers she likes the cut-outs better than the real thing anyway - after all, real ppl can talk back, interrupting the princess’s precious talking about herself time. Dani is, however, shocked when she got the massive bill form the printer’s services. The eldest Sutho daughter knows she’ll NEVER have to much she needs (and does the printer). What does the person who did the cut-outs ask Dani to do to pay in rtn for all their hard work? And is the printing person someone, in disguise, that knows Dani?

Gypsy & Sally meet up with Shannon & Mandy and each of the woman agreed that they’d LOVE to be part of in an all girl love making (awesome) 4some. Posh Josh & Saddo Seb, despite their love of each other, both want to see the 4 girls pleasuring each other. Both losers discover that things will take place at sally & Gypsy’s house and posh & saddo eagerly watch Mandy & the others at "work". But it all becomes too much for the 2 losers - both their tiny appendages explode simultaneously, killing the boys instantly.

"We killed Posh Josh & Saddo Seb " said all 4 girls’ private parts.

"You LEGENDS", replied Gypsy’s (strewn on the floor) bra.

Jesse decided to take Wanda for a romantic holiday (for 2) every year to celebrate their anniversary. They both agree to visit as different Aussie city or town when the joyous date of the marriage occurs each year. For their first anniversary, Jesse further surprises Wanda buy not telling her we’re they are going - except to say that the place is in Far North Queensland. What happens on their romantic getaway?

Silly Scott gives the awful scarf to Kimmy, who HATES it but likes Silly Scott too much to want the hurt the boy’s feelings. Kimmy thanks silly scoot for the scarf - and then hugs Beth’s son. The pair are about to kiss when dani arrives and DEMANDS that Kimmy give her back the scarf. Hyde’s son refuse, and the 2 get into a MASSIVE catfight. Who will win?

PS - NICE work with who said "you LEGEND" in your latest chapter,

Date: 19/03/04 Author : JosieTash

280

Scotty P tries to convince Leah that her own body is rejecting her dreadful voice , but the Greek chef does not pause in her horrid shrieking tirade and so cannot hear him. Will her body kill her before Scotty P can explain the danger she is in to her .....and will anyone care???!!!

Kirsty is desperate for the antidote , she loves Kane with all her heart ....then suddenly it dawns on her ...her love is soooo strong that the antidote is no longer necessary, she no longer wants to harm her beloved husband.

''Kane,Kane!!'' she shouts to him , but Kane is unaware of her love overcoming the drugs in her system and he hurries away , sad and dejected wishing that Kirsty loved him again and not realising that she does. How can Kirsty convince him that she no longer wants to harm him??!!

Jade spies on Tasha and Mark and sees them kissing the dino-teens....she runs away distressed....but is all as it seems ??!!

Rhys is being a bit clingy with Kane, following him around , hugging him, proudly telling everyone about all Kane's heroic deeds, and calling him ''the son I never had.''

Kane doesn't want to hurt Rhys's feelings but he could do without him following him into the bathroom!!!!!

How can Kane get Rhys to back off???!!!

Dani is shocked to discover that the printer is Norman ...he demands hot steamy love in return for his hard work ...will Dani succumb ....she does love whining to the cardboard cutouts soooo much??!!

Wanda and Jesse make mad passionate love in Queensland , and renew their wedding vows , naked amongst the tropical landscape. Jesse is so in love and everything seems perfect until they see Posh Josh and Saddo Seb spying on them.

A tiny orange blossom falls from a tree and kills Saddo , who falls at his lovers feet. Posh Josh starts crying so another little orange blossom puts him out of his misery and he dies too.

''We killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb'' said the little orange blossoms.

''You LEGENDS!'' answered a purple butterfly.

Kimmy refuses to give Dani back the hideous head scarf and bitch slaps her. Dani runs of crying , ''me,me,me'' at the top of her voice.

Silly Scott Hunter now knows that he is truly in love...does Kimmy share his feelings??!!

Date: 20/03/04 Author : Wanda

281

Saintly Scotty P (and most ppl) in town don't care THAT much about GReek Leah, but they knbow, despite you obsessive whining that she IS a graet mum to little VJ.

Scooty P trhen takes advantage of greek Leah being a chef and writes "your own organs will stop working is you keep on whining" as his (food) order that she is to perpare. What happens when the loudmouth chef reads the note?

As Kane relaxes by a beautiful stream, Kirsty approaches him. kane is wearing as she approaches. Kirsty moved her arm and kane thinks she's going to attack him. Even when Kirsty says "i'm TOTALLY off those evil drugs,and i LOVE you" kane isn't so sure. Kirsty then surprises Kane by kissing him. With that wonderous pash, kane KNEW that kirsty was TRULY herself again.

But something happened that night to make him not so sure. He gave kirsty's latest attempt at making dinner to a stray dog that was passing by. The next morning , the dog was dead - posioned by kirsty's food. Kane doesn't want to think nkirsty is still trying to kill him, but he's not so sure. Kirsty's KNOWS she didn't try to kill him - but who is the REAL culprit?

When Tasha & Mark get home, they find all of Jade's things are gone. Both go to the van park and asked jade why she's moved out. Jade says she saw mark kissing Jaina, and Tasha kissing Jacen. both Mark & Tasha are embaraessed and tell jade that they were merely comparing kissing styles with the dino ppl teens (who kiss differently to 100% humans). Will Jade beleive her beloved husband & wife?

Kane doen't want to hurt Rhys' feelings, so he asks Beth is she can distract. She eagerly agrees to kane's plan but nothing she tries seems to distract rhys way form kane.

A bairly clad Beth then pushes Rhys to the ground and begins to "have her way" with him. WIll this be enough to stop rhys from following kane?

Dani hates the idea of sleeping of OLD norman, but she REALLY loves those lifesize cutouts - and besides , it's not like she hasn't slept with ewveryone else in town.

The pair then make love. Dani is quite surprised how good norman is in bed, and subsequently demands that he sleep with HER with SHE wants them to. Does Noraman like Dani's sexy idea or not?

When Jesse & Wanda rtn from their wonderful (love making filled) holiday, Wanda can tell that something's not quite right about Danusia. What's up with the champoion gynmast.

Silly Scoot buys an engagement ring,. and when alone when Kimmy, gets down on one knee and proposes. Kimmy is about to respond when both he & kimmy heard noises outside.

When they look out the window, they sees that 2 baby possum are kicking posh josh & saddo seb. Seconds later, the 2 losers fall out of the tree they were in (spying on silly scott & Kimmy). the 2 gay boys die when they hit teh ground,

"we killed posh josh & saddo seb" said the baby possum.

"you LEGENDS" replied the stunning steapless dress Kimmy is wearing.

Silly Scott then proposes to Kimmy again. What will Hyde's son's answer be?

Date: 21/03/04 Author : JosieTash

282

Leah reads the note and realises that she is in grave danger if she carries on shrieking .She is about to carry on about it ,but instead clamps her mouth shut and writes a note to Scotty P. He hands the note round for everyone in the diner to see, there is a spontaneous round of applause and everyone starts partying!!!!!! Leah has asked Scotty P to speak to Flynn...she wants him to permanently weld her braces together clamping her mouth shut. She will be able to take nourishment through a straw but no one will have to listen to her annoying shrill voice.

After the operation Flynn looks at Leah's metal filled mouth and is filled with longing ....he cannot understand it afterall he has Sally as a wife and Angie as a dominatrix , why is he feeling passionate thoughts about Leah???!!

Kane is relieved to discover that Kirsty's awful cooking was to blame for the dog's death rather than a deliberate attempt to kill him, but someone else isn't so sure ....what does Tasha suspect???!!

Jade ofcourse believes her beloved husband and wife , they would never lie to her, and she has a go at kissing the dino people too.Jeida confesses that she has a crush on smeone ...and its not dr charlotte .....who does the dino teen fancy???!!!

Rhys ignores Beth , so she returns to Alf's arms , and Shelley also attempts to lure him away from Kane but to no avail.

Luckily Dani is strutting by with her nose in the air ,and trips over just infront of Rhys. Something in his puny brain kicks in and he helps her to her feet threatening to sue the council for his darling Dani's poor grazed knee and yelling at the top of his voice ''Poor Dani,look how she's suffering!''

Kane crept away relieved that Rhys seemed back to normal. Until Dani introduced her new boyfriend to Rhys.

''Daddy meet my snookums '', she simpered , introducing Norman.

Once he had stopped vomitting Rhys bellowed that ''snookums will date Dani over my dead body''......is someone already planning this??!!

Danusia wants to join the circus as an acrobat ....eventually Wanda persuades her to wait until after the olympics ....but will Danusia run away to fulfil her dream??!!

Kimmy is overjoyed that Silly Scott proposed and the two run hand in hand to the diner to tell everyone their wonderful news....Who is not pleased??!!

Seb and Josh are roasting the dead dog on the beach , for their dinner, when a tiny spark lands from the fire onto Saddo Seb , he is so startled that he begins running around yelping. This pathetic noise attracts a pack of dingos who see their cousin being roasted and are not happy. They tear Saddo Seb and Posh Josh to shreds and **** on their bodies.

''We killed Saddo Seb and Posh Josh,'' said the dingos.

''You LEGENDS'' said the dead dog.

Date: 21/03/04 Author : Wanda

283

Both Hyde & partic Irene are pleased that dopey Noah has stopped bothering them. Indeed, despite hating Hyde completely, Irene asks the SBH principal to marry her. She also says that go anywhere he wants on the honeymoon. Hyde adores this new Irene and emphatically agrees to get hitched. After the somewhat weird wedding (most baysiders can’t believe it when they heard the pair was getting hitched), Hyde & Irene arrive at their honeymoon location, which Hyde has kept a secret from Irene? Where are the newlyweds? And does Irene like, or hate, her hubby’s choice of location?

Dopey Noah, meanwhile, has taken Irene’s advice (to grow up) a little too literally. He has arranged surgery to make his lags (and therefore his body) made longer. When the numerous operations are complete, dopey Noah ends being a little over 2 meters tall. As dopey noah left the hospital (tom find Irene and tell her the goods news - hat he’s grown up), the world’s worst counsellor sees another bayside resident entering the non essential surgery ward of the medical facility. Who have dopey Noah seen? And why are they in hospital?

Whilst the "slightly" hotheaded Gypsy & Angie want everything to end, Sally & Dr SuperFlynn (alrady in a rather open realtionship) think they should think about everything rationally. Soon after they all realise 2 things - eveyone wants to get revange on sookky princess, and that they ALL want to be part of a super kinky 4some from now on.

SO after they "christened" their new situation with some wonderful sex (which flynn partic enjoyed - 3 girls to 1 guy), the 4some, at specifically timed intervals, went to Dani’s place and told her that they now want to be with only here.

Dani was REALLY pleased that everything was about HER again, until she came home the next day and found gypsy, sally, DrSuperFlynn & Angie involved in a unbelievably raunchy, HOT sex-filled 4some in her living room. How will Dani react to being "lied" to like this?

Floss’ spirit within Hayley tries to get her to run a mile when Saintly Scottie approaches, but Hayley, like everything else is in awe of Kane’s wonderful older bro and agrees to a one on one meditation session with saintly Scotty. This does this trick, as floss’ evil life-force flees the bimbo (rather the face to possibility of being transformed into a spirit if the side of good. Hayley is initially pleased to be her old self again, but then begins to think ppl only like her because of her looks/beauty routine. The bimbo sets about proving her point to by not showering, brushing her hair, cleaning her teeth etc. She says within the confines of the palace for a week, so she’ll be completely horrid looking etc when she ventures out for the first time. How will the other baysiders react to the new, grotty Hayley? And where has floss’ life-force gone to now?

Kane, despite being almost as serene & patient as his bro, can’t believe all the stupid things silly scoott does whilst they are on the Blaxland. Beth’s eldest son almost steers the boat into some jagged rocks, and he also damages lots of the safety equipment because he was bored. With a massive (once in a life time) storm approaching, will heroic, kind kane being able to repair the damaged safety equip AND prevent silly Scott from doing more damage?

Kimmy (in complete girl-mode), complete with the netball skirt he’s just bought "just knows" where the embarrassed Rhys is. It doesn’t shock Kimmy at all to discover that, in a small clearing deep in the bush, a skirted Rhys is playing netball (one o one with a quite skilled kangaroo). Kimmy thought about just watching Rhys at work but decides to show him instead. Rhys was initially shocked when Kimmy appears, but then little and realises a human opponent would be better than a kangaroo. So the 2 skirt wearing men played netball together, and when they both think they’d played enough netball for the time being, Rhys surprises Kimmy by kissing him. Kimmy eagerly kisses him back - and all the while, Shelley is watching them both. She was hoping to just sell the pics of Rhys playing netball by himself, but the kissing pics are SOOOOOOOOO much juicer. Will Rhys & Kimmy notice that Shelley is taken pics of them? And what will Rhys say when Kimmy wants them to sleep together?

Meanwhile, the kangaroo that Rhys shunned (in favour of playing netball with Kimmy) was in the mood to cause all humans some annoyance at the very least. The roo bounded into classrooms at the school. The mammal caused injury to several students and damage to many classroom & textbooks.

Once the still enraged kangaroo was done at the school, the animal saw posh josh & saddo Seb as it bounded down the road. The roo thought about killing the pathetic losers, but decided they are too easy to kill, so the animal decided to bound right over their heads, but the roo JUST touched the 2 idiots hair as it jumped over them. This was, however, enough to end the lives of the 2 morons.

"I killed posh josh & saddo Seb," said the kangaroo.

"You LEGEND", replied a nearby (lost) mobile phone.

This kanga realises it LOVES causing trouble for humans. What will it do next?

Colleen has decided she won’t leave her house for anyone or anything - she’s even constantly ringing pizza places (so they can deliver food to her etc). Why is colleen not leaving her house you ask? It’s because she thinks she killed (the JUST still alive) Max when she didn’t get DrSuperFlynn to check on the annoying runt recently. Will anyone discover what colleen is up to? And will they want to rescue Max from his current "home" (colleen’s closet)?

Both Jade & Tash know their hubby is a motor sports freak, so they arrange for Mark & themselves to travel to Europe for the upcoming Belgian F1 GP - which is held at one of Mark’s favourite motor racing circuits, Spa-Francorchamps.

As well as the trip, Tasha & Jade have also arranged at special surprise for their beloved hubby. What is it?

Henry & Tilly are in seriously ghoulish danger, as the ghost of jack has made LOTS of friends of the afterlives. The hunter twins try to keep their cool but it’s SOOOOOOO not easy. Jack knows he can’t punish Tilly & henry whilst they’re in the real world so he & his friends are trying to (literally) scare them to death.

When Joe & Rikki arrive at the farm, they realise they’ll need SERIOUS backup. After having to sprint away from the various ghouls & ghosts, Tilly & Co realise theta Rikki is the fastest runner. Henry’s gf then races into town to get Saintly Scotty AND the dino teens. Will Rikki and the reinforcements arrive in time before it’s too late for Tilly, Henry & Joe?

Date: 30/03/04 Author : JosieTash

[JosieTash]

Before i write anything else, apologies for a BIG error that i made yesterday. i jumped a screen or 3 when on the old official site boards, so the chapter i labelled 283 yesterday is actaully further down the track. i'll start today with the REAL chapter 283 !!! aplogies once more !!!

belgshep, i definitely laughed a lot when i re-rwead that death last night - and i adore the Spa-Francorcahmps curcuit, so i just had to include it somewhere !!!

(The REAL chapter) 283 !!!!

As superFlynn stares at the Greek chef, he looks at her in a whole new light - as vague memories form the distant past then come in the doc’s mind. He sees a man & a woman kissing on the frontier in America circa 1880. Initailally superFlynn has no idea why these visions are in his head. Seconds later, everything becomes clear. SuperFlynn realises that he & Leah were not only lovers, but were VERY happily married, in a past life. The Doc is now undecided - will he try to seek proof of his "vision" or will he straight out tell Leah about their past life as husband and wife?

Tasha tells kane that she not so sure that kirsty is 100% clear of the affects of the drugs she was taking for so long. As superFlynn is rather busy with Greek Leah, Kirsty agrees to kane’s suggestion that they go to the local hospital to have her checked out. After various tests are done, one of the hospital staff informs KK and their great friend Fi that Kirsty has been recently injestuing miniscaule doses of the anti kane drug. Further tests uncover that the drug was "taken" whenever kisrty ate at the diner. Fi and her bestest buddies wondered who STIIL doesn’t want KK back together again. Of the diner staff, Colleen’s NEVER been a fan of theirs, but is she responsible for drugging Kirsty?

Jaina begins to have SERIOUS feelings for Irene. The mum to all thinks Jaina is (like Gypsy with Shelley a few years back) confusing her motherly love with somehow stronger. But Irene knows she’s fighting her own feelings towards the sexy dino teen. Irene knew she’d never these kind of feelings for ANY female which made her quite releuctant to tell Jaina. The dino teen then took matters into her own hands. She kissed Irene, and Mrs Roberts kissed the half human/half dinosaur back. Jacen walks into the room as Jaina & Irene are pashing. How will he react?

Max is NOT pleased that Norman has chosen "floozy" Dani over his old bat of a friend, Colleen. Despite her sexual feelings of his own towards Mrs Smart, Max decides to Dani must DIE for taking Noraman away from Colleen. Max palces a real life (very deadly) scospoion in place of the scorpion shaped broach Dani has on her fave top. Is this the end of Dani? And will Max act on his feeling for colleen?

Danusia decides the circus life is for her. In the dark of night, little D phones the ring master (who is awaitong her call) and then he picks her & drives her town to circus’ latest performance venue - a town about 300 kms away from Summer Bay. Soon after Danusia, arrives, she becomes the star of the show. This is a major annoyance for the other long serving circus performers.

Indeed, one of the clowns (ironically enough) decides that enough is enough. He hires Posh Josh & Saddo seb to elimimate D. Things don’t go according to plan though. As soon as posh & Saddo enetred the clown’s caravan, he hands a gun to josh. The weight of the weapon instantly caused josh & seb (who was holding hie slover’s hand) the cradh to the floor. This killed the pair of losers within an instant.

"I killed posh josh & saddo seb" said the gun.

"you LEGEND" replied one of the caravan’s windows.

After a while, Danusia begins to realise she doen’t like circus life so much, but will she swallow her pride and go back to Summer Bay (and competitve gymnastics)?

Henry is NOT impressed that his bro is going with a boy who wants to be a girl. Henry’s twin Tilly (and her bf Joe) think that if Kimmy makes silly scoot h, then then realationship is cool by them. Henry asks his gf Rikki what she thinks about the engagement of Silly Scoot & Kimmy. What’s Rikki’s response?

Date: 22/03/04 Author : JosieTash

284

Flynn decides to tell Leah that in the past they were soulmates ...destined to meet again. Unfortunately (or fortunately) she cannot reply due to her teeth being elded together.Will Leah remember that past life??!!

Kane rushes over to the Diner to confront the miserable old bag Colleen. He grabs her by the throat and shakes her making her false teeth rattle in her empty head. She admits that it was her poisoning Kirsty against Kane.

''It was only me!'' she cackles.

Alf sacks her immediately and she has to walk shamefully past everyone in the diner whilst they boo and jeer at her.

She turns and stares at our hero with her beady eyes,

''I'll be back!'' she hisses.

The customers start pelting her with food and she scuttles out humilliated.

A fairy cake hits Saddo Seb and kills him instantly, and a paper napkin collides with Posh Josh's weak head also taking his life.

''We killed Saddo Seb and Posh Josh,'' said the fairy cake and paper napkin.

''You LEGENDS!!' replied a Lamington.

Jaicen is not pleased at the prospect of his sister dating Irene and calls Irene a cradle snatcher. Irene is hurt by this and Jaina defends her.

Jaicen goes off in a strop and runs into wise and good Scotty Phillips who makes Jaicen see that he is exhibiting just the kind of prejudice that the dino-people were worried about encountering themselves. Irene's age was not important , only her love.

Jaicen returns to the Beach house and gives Irene and Jaina his blessing , but someone else has fancied Irene for ages and was going to tell her his feelings. He is not pleased with the turn of events ...who is this lovestruck man??!!

Dani and Norman are pashing ,when Norman steps on her ''broach'', the scorpion stings him, releasing its venom.

''Call an ambulance'' cried Norman.

''But what about ME'' replied Dani. ''You've ruined my broach!!''

''It was a real scorpion,'' replied Norman, gasping in agonyand screaming.

''Well it was mine and it should have bitten ME!!'' said Dani stamping her foot.

''No arguments there'' muttered superFlynn who had been alerted by Norman's screams.

SuperFlynn managed to save Norman's life since he had a vial of antidote handy , but will Norman forgive Dani her selfish ways??!!

Danusia is wandering around outside the circus tent deciding what to do , when she sees Sammy, Kirsty , Kane and their bestest friend Fi , who have all got tickets to see the circus.

''Hey, little D,'' said Kane ,''wotcha doing out here??''

''I,I,I don't know if I should go home,'' she answered sadly.

Our hero smiled,''with a great mum like yours and Jesse as a step-dad, I reckon you should.''

Little D smiled back and holding Sammy's hand she returned to Summer Bay with them.

Wanda and Jesse and her brothers and sister were so pleased to see her, they all hugged and kissed and got ready for Scott H and Kimmy's engagement party.

Rikki had managed to convince Henry that at the end of the day Kimmy loved Scott H and put up with his stupidity , Scott H wasn't really going to get many other candidates in the love stakes.

Rhys however was livid , Beth had managed to get him to stop following Kane around by telling him all Scott H's good points , this didn't take very long , but when Rhys realised that even he was intellectually superior to Scotty H he decided to make Scotty H his new bezzy mate. But now Scotty H only had time for Kimmy. Rhys was feeling very put out and was sulking so much that he was in danger of tripping up over his bottom lip. Will Rhys succeed in splitting up Scott H and Kimmy??!!

Date: 23/03/04 Author : Wanda

285

Greek Leah had no idea what superFlynn is talking about, so he goes home and tries to forget what the doc has said. But that night she has a dream.

One from which she remembers everything that happened (during the dream) when she woke up. Leah rem'd seeing not only the same thing superFlynn

described but more things as well ? like the fact that, in this past life, she & "Flynn" had 7 children (5 boys, 2 girls) together.

Greek Leah writes all she can rem down and then shows superFlynn the info. The 2 then began searching for proof that their visions/dreams are real. After 5 weeks of searching, they discover what they saw is real ? they were married, and lived in frontier America towards the end of the 19th Centaury. Their past lives names were Martin & Katerina.

Greek Leah & superFlynn then decided that they must tell Sally about their current, and past life, relationships. They both know Sally & Gypsy are lovers now, but how will Sally react to their BIG news?

Now that the drugging is totally things seem to be TOTALLY back to normal with the greatest couple in the universe, Kane and Kirsty. But Kirsty knows things aren't quite the same, because she is keeping a secret from not only her beloved kane, but everyone else as well. What's Kirsty's secret? And will someone discover it before she works up the courage to tell kane?

Noah goes to the beach house to confess his undying love for Irene ? after all, she's way HOT for someone of her age and she (without a day of social work study) is q trillion times better a counsellor than he is. Noah decides he not going to let the "small" matter of Irene getting together with Jaina stand in his way of being with Mrs Roberts. What happens when Noah tells Irene how he feels?

Norman knows he likes sleeping with Dani, but her self-obsession is just too much. Norman then dumps Dani. After she tries to get sympathy for her from someone (anyone) in town and gets NONE at all, Dani decides to spend all her precious time in the company of the most important person in HER world, herself!!!!!

After a week or so, Dani realises that she NEEDS to be pleasured sexually, so she goes to an adult shop for some goodies. The self-centred princess is surprised to see someone she knows is also in the store. Who is it?

Rhys thinks the ultimate way of getting his best mate back is to show silly Scott that Kimmy REALLY is a man, not matter how much make up, lipstick and girls clothes he wears. Rhys decides to get TOTALL proof by taking pics of Kimmy (naked) as he is showering. Because Rhys is concentrating sooo much on taking the photos he wants, Rhys doesn't notice that Hyde has rtned home (after another wonderful afternoon of love making with Hayley). Hyde sees Rhys in his bathroom and is NOT impressed. Will Rhys to able to defeat the combined might of Hyde AND Kimmy as they try to teach Rhys a lesson he'll NEVER forgot?

Saddo Seb and Posh Josh had been hiding behind the bathroom door and were squashed to death as it swung open.

''I killed Saddo Seb and Posh Josh'' said the bathroom door.

''You LEGEND'' replied a tube of toothpaste.

Date: 23/03/04 Author : JosieTash

286

SuperFlynn has a dream that night and it turns into a nightmare ...he remembers how the 'past life' with Leah ended....he throttled her,driven insane by her voice. He wakes in a cold sweat......will he tell Leah of this terrifying turn of events??!!

Kirsty is hiding the fact that she enjoyed being really bad and is worried that she may get the urge to be bad again, she decides to talk to Scotty P, the good wise guru about it.....but will Scotty P tell his little brother??!!

Paris , Irenes ex drops by with his new girlfriend Hils, with some exciting news.....they catch Irene in an intimate moment with Noah .Paris is somewhat surprised, but he is happy with Hils so it doesn't pose a problem , but Jaina is upset and wants to return to her people , will she go and will her brother go with her??!!

Dani is surprised to see Norman in the sex shop, she simpers and cries and begs her snookums to take her back....she mentions that they won't need to purchase the expensive items in their shopping baskets if they have each other and this finally sways the tightfisted Norman. He agrees to take Dani back.Dani kisses the wrinkled old fart and happily throws away her vibrator , as it lands it turns on accidentally and the vibtations cause Saddo Seb and Posh Josh ,who are creeping around the sex shop, to lose their balance. They topple over, bounce off a life-size rubber dolly and fall in a lifeless heap in the sex manual aisle.

''We killed Posh Josh and Saddo Seb,'' said the vibrator and life-size rubber dolly.

''You LEGENDS!!' replied a book entitled 'Orgasms'.

Hyde and Rhys have a massive fight and the police are called. Silly Scott H and Kimmy are very upset and it causes a big argument between them....will Silly Scott and Kimmy kiss and make up??!!

Date: 24/03/04 Author : Wanda

287

In the morning superFlynn went over to Greek Leah’s house. As soon as she opened the door, the chef informs superFlynn (via the chalk board she now permanently carries with her) that she had exactly the same dream. Greek Leah reminds superFlynn that history won’t repeat itself now because of the operation to wire shut with her mouth. The doc & the chef then go to kiss each other, but can’t - there seems to be an invisible barrier between the, stopping Greek Leah from even touching superFlynn, and vice versa. Unbeknownst to the 2 new lovers, the ghost of Vinnie is the one preventing physical contact.

The doc & the chef ask saintly Scotty p for advice. He informs them that it’s Greek’s Leah’s ex who is responsible for the barrier. Saintly Scotty then asks Robbie & UK Leah if they will help him in finding a way to stop the ghost of Vinnie from getting in the way of superFlynn & Greek Leah. Do our dynamic inventing duo agree to help Scotty P?

Saintly Scotty thinks about telling kane but then decides to speak to Kirsty again. He tells her that he thinks, if she loves kane, then she will tell him herself about the BAD feelings. Kirsty decided to head saintly Scot’s advice. How does kane react?

Jaina is all set to leave when Jacen pleads with her not to leave. Jacen tries to make his sister realise that the only thing she doesn’t like about the bay is the whole Irene situation. Jaina the said she’d stay in Summer Bay if Jacen could persuade her rather shy best friend Rei (female) to leave the dino ppl colony and join them in the human world. Will Jacen be successful in his quest to entice Rei to live in the Bay?

Paris & Hils travel to SBH. When they arrive, Paris informs Hyde that the dept has directed him to take over as principal. Hyde is NOT impressed and looses it completely. He trashes the office, but will any harm come to either Paris or his DDG girlfriend?

Kimmy decides he’s have enough of silly Scott being, well, silly - so he decides to find another guy who is either gullible enough to think he’s female, or understanding enough to accept that he likes looking/dressing like a girl. Kimmy is just about to get up hope when a person other than silly Scott tells Kimmy that they are in love with "her". The mystery person then kisses Kimmy. Who is this mysterious individual?

After her passionate love making with Hyde, Hayley paints up a storm. Her delightfully risque creations become the talk of art world. So much so that when the paintings are the centrepiece of a major international exhibition which in held in the city.

Posh Josh is REALLY annoyed that Hayley made something of her life without him, so he & bf saddo Seb decided to steal (and trash) the paintings. When they arrived at the art gallery after hours, there were no visible signs of security, but as posh & saddo grabbed a painting each, the world’s most deadly snakes bit both of them. The losers died instantly.

"We killed posh josh & saddo Seb", said the snakes.

"You LEGENDS" replied several of Hayley’s risque paintings.

Annoying little Max decides that he wants Tilly as his gf. After none of the gifts he sends her as a secret admirer change Beth’s daughter’s opinion of him, Max tries a less subtle approach. He straight out tells Tilly that if she doesn’t go out with him, he kill her with his VEEY venomous pet spider. Tilly’s bf, Joe, heard this and bashes max up - with Tilly helping him. The pair leave max battered and bleeding. Will anyone care enough to get the little runt to a hospital?

Date: 24/03/04 Author : JosieTash