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I Never Meant To Say Goodbye


Guest claire_louise

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Claire-Louise, stop doing (um...exactly what I'm doing right now, which is posting on this board instead of writing some more of a certain fanfic. :P ). It's excellent and I'd really like to read some more. :)

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Ok, soooo sorry it took this long. I just hope you haven't all forgotten about me! Here it is!

Chapter Ten

“So when’s the wedding?†Kirsty asked, pointing to the enormous rock on Jade’s ring finger. She’d missed a great deal but that was one thing which was impossible be unaware of.

“Oh, er, next March,†said Jade, flushing beetroot-red as she always did when she was embarrassed. Some things never changed. “There’s still so much to organise, I don’t know how I’m going to do it all.â€

“Well…you know…I could help. If you like, I mean.â€

Although she tried to hide it, Kirsty couldn’t help but notice Jade squirm in her seat.

“I…well, we’ll see.â€

“You didn’t even tell me who the lucky guy is,†said Kirsty, trying to lighten the mood. She caught her sister’s eye and grinned. “No prizes for guessing, though.â€

“You always said Nick and I were made for each other,†Jade replied, smiling in spite of herself.

“Yeah, after I stopped being mad at you for stealing him from me.â€

The two of them laughed and, for a split second at least, it was as if they were teenagers again; the Sutherland twins, chatting about boys and clothes and which eye shadow to wear to the next party. If only, Kirsty thought with a pang.

“To be honest, I’m surprised it took you this long,†she said. “I always thought that after you did the HSC you’d be straight on the plane to LA.â€

“Yeah, well, things don’t always work out the way you expect,†said Jade, avoiding Kirsty’s eye.

“What do you mean?â€

“You don’t know, do you? About me and Seb.â€

“You and Seb? I knew you were dating for a while…why, what else is there to know?â€

“It wasn’t just for a while, Kirsty. We were married. For two years.â€

“What?! You’re joking, right?†Kirsty spluttered disbelievingly, almost choking on her tea.

Jade shook her head.

“I assumed someone would have told you. We separated six months ago.â€

“So you and Nick…did you, you know, have an affair?†Kirsty asked, although found it almost impossible to believe such a thing of her sister, who had always been the sensible one.

“No,†Jade snapped. Then, with her face softening, “I guess I just never stopped loving him, and in the end I couldn’t hide the way I felt anymore. So I left Seb and went to LA.â€

“Wow, Jade,†said Kirsty, as she struggled to take it all in. “That’s really brave.â€

“Or stupid. Nick could have slammed the door in my face.â€

“But he didn’t.â€

Jade smiled.

“No. I felt terrible about Seb, though. Still do. In a funny way I think he was expecting it all along, but that doesn’t make it any easier.â€

“So you live in LA now?†Kirsty asked, sensing that Jade was eager for a change of subject.

“Yeah. I never thought it would be my sort of place, but I actually kind of like it. But as soon as I heard you were back, I had to come and see you.â€

Kirsty smiled gratefully.

“I’m glad you did.â€

For a while they sipped their tea in silence. The atmosphere was no longer awkward, but it wasn’t entirely comfortable either. Kirsty knew that the subject of Kane hung between them, waiting to be voiced, and that it was only a matter of time before his name would have to be mentioned. She was about to bite the bullet when Jade, always one to say what was on her mind, got in first.

“So are you and Kane…?â€

Horrified, Kirsty realised that Jade was wondering if they had split up.

“We’re still together,†she said adamantly. “He’s doing ok in gaol, but I guess that probably wasn’t your next question.â€

Jade sighed.

“You must really love him,†she said, in a manner that was almost like she was admitting some sort of defeat.

Kirsty nodded.

“More than anything.â€

“More than me.â€

“It’s not like that, Jade. Please, I don’t want to fight.â€

“Me neither,†said Jade earnestly. Hesitating, she reached out and touched Kirsty’s arm. “I’ve missed you so much, Kirst. Why didn’t you keep in touch?â€

“I’m sorry, Jade,†said Kirsty, feeling a sudden, suffocating sense of guilt. “I wanted to, so much, but after what Dad said when I left…â€

She remembered Rhys’ words, which had been engraved on her mind ever since they had first been uttered five years ago. If you choose him over us, you are no longer a member of this family. You can be a Phillips or you can be a Sutherland. It’s your choice, Kirsty.

“He didn’t mean it,†Jade assured her. “You know what Dad’s like…â€

“Yeah, I know it only too well. He meant it, Jade.â€

“But he really misses you, I can tell.â€

“Does he ever talk about me?†Kirsty said, already knowing the answer. She put the question to Jade like a challenge.

Jade fell silent.

“Well, no. After you left he banned us all from saying your name,†she admitted eventually. “But don’t you see, that just shows how hurt he was when you went.â€

Kirsty gave her a sceptical look.

“Next you’ll be telling me he’s invited me to stay.â€

“Well, actually, Beth’s persuaded him to invite you for dinner tomorrow night.â€

“Oh, God. I don’t know, Jade…â€

“Please come. We can’t go on like this, it’s been too long already.â€

“What about Dani? Will she be there?â€

“Yes, she’s coming down from the city for the night. She lives there now, she was only visiting when you saw her.â€

“I don’t know if I can face her again.â€

“Come on, I’ll be there with you. And Beth, too.â€

Kirsty sighed, resigned to the fact, at the very least, that she owed her sister this favour.

“Ok,†she said. “But there’d better be chocolate cake.â€

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