Whirlpool of DOOM!!!

[pam]

haha that is so funny...once again that is really really really good!!

[Loz]

As the newly promoted Rage Fairy, it was Dani's job to help the ravaged minds of the residents of Summer Bay.  Alf was the worst affected.  He couldn't remember if he liked saying "you flaming mongrel" or "stone the flaming crows" the most.  You see, Alf liked to call Kane a "flaming mongrel" quite frequently.  Little did he know that Kane was flaming right now, in hell.  Without Kane, he didn't know which he liked more.  Dani comforted him and suggested that he liked them both equally.  And Alf was cured.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Love love love it. Flaming brilliant. Although I think Irene was cured too easily. I'd like her to suffer very slightly more. But that's just me.

Only you, Jaybird, would have the cheek to write a trilogy where part three is 'to be continued'. But I'll be looking forward to it.

[Frankie]

LOL. This just gets better and better.

[beachbabe]

I love this fic, its really good. Cant wait to here more

[Jay Preston]

Whirlpool of DOOM!!! Babe's Revenge: The Resolution

Dani and Jade had no idea of the danger they were about to face. "Babe" was within a few sentences of Summer Bay and this most evil of words had the power not only to open the Whirlpool of DOOM!!! but also to free the dreadful flaming Kane.

Add to this the fact that Kirsty was almost completely healed; a truly horrific combination was forming. One that Dani thought she had banished to hell long ago, when the Rage Fairy first visited her on the beach.

Kirsty's recovery rate accelerated to incredibly indecent levels. It was almost as if she could feel the evil presence of Babe coming to assist her. And just to spite all the people who were finally glad to be rid of her, she became healthy again. And on the day she began walking again, she received a knock on the door. And as she approached the door to answer it, she felt a huge surge of power around her. Power to destroy. Power to make the world all about her again. Just the way I've always liked it. It's all about meeeeEEEEEEEE!!! she declared victoriously and jubilantly in her half brain. Her half brain of hell.

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Just like Kirsty could sense that everything was about to go right for her again, so too could Jade feel that everything was very, very wrong. I thought that our psychic connection was a load of rubbish. Who'd have thought it actually existed? she thought to herself. Then she realised - I'm a magical being. Being able to read Kirsty's half brain is my curse. Sometimes I don't know if the sacrifice is worth it. But she knew it was worth it today; something terrible was going to happen and Jade knew why. Kirsty was alive. Dammit, Jade thought.

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"You're saying what now?" said Kirsty, in a very familiar tone. Even without Kane she was hopelessly repetitive. Shelly and Rhys believed it was because her half brain could only hold so many phrases.

"I am the word 'Babe'. I have come here to restore you and Kane to your high deviant standard. I was the most popular word in the universe. And now because of the end of your relationship I am reduced to being less popular than obscure Latin words. Did you know Latin is a dead language?" Babe asked.

"No I didn't," was Kirsty's predictable response. There's not much room for general knowledge in her brain.

Babe shook Kirsty's stupidity off like a dog gets rid of all the things that irritate it. "I want to take revenge on your sisters and all the Rage Deities for ruining my status. You may not know this but I am in fact the most evil word in the universe. And the most powerful. It was I who linked you and Kane so strongly in your most terrible of unions. Because of me you were able to destroy lives. But thanks to the Rage Fairy and the Rage Angel, those lives were fixed. I won't have that."

Despite being capable of very little, this was something Kirsty understood. She understood that the Sutherlands had the gall to put her last on their list of priorities. This filled her with rage. How dare they put me last! I bet they don't even think about me every minute anymore. They chose their happiness over mine? What did I do to deserve that? Kirsty thought.

Babe opened up the Whirlpool of DOOM!!! and pulled Kane out of hell. The flames burnt the house down.

But that didn't matter. Kane and Kirsty were reunited. And as they constantly called each other the abominable word, Babe grew stronger. "I missed you Babe," one would say. "I missed you too Babe," the other would reply. Even though these were the only two sentences they managed to articulate within several hours, they helped Babe grow stronger. Babe overtook ornithorhynchus in record time.

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The sense of DOOM!!! that Jade was feeling became incredibly intense. She was so concerned about everything that was happening. She could sense it all. She knew that Kane and Kirsty were back together and that the link between them was stronger and more depraved than ever.

Jade tried to suck Kane back down through the Whirlpool of DOOM!!! but in a terrifying moment she realised that the connection between him and Kirsty was too strong. And Jade realised that the connection between them was more powerful than the Rage Deities. And she knew she was in trouble.

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The most evil trio that ever existed in the universe descended upon Summer Bay. With their vicious power they tore apart the buildings of the Bay. The Diner, where Kane had been fired, was destroyed. Leah lived and loved no more. The Surf Club, where Kane had been fired, was destroyed. The gym was no more. The school where Kirsty's half brain had not come in at all handy was destroyed. Irene was spared, as were the illegal-marriage-enabling-couple Sally and Flynn. But what Kirsty, Kane and Babe cared about the most was getting to the Summer Bay house and destroying the Sutherland family once and for all. Then they could be together. And as the flaming wreckage of Summer Bay burned around them, Kirsty and Kane knew that it was all worth it, because they couldn't help but be in love. Nothing mattered as long as they were together. And they proved that.

They arrived at the Summer Bay house, where the Sutherlands were waiting.

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Jade had tried to keep Dani, Rhys and Shelly safe, but there was nothing she could do. If she summoned all the Rage Deities to the house, they could all have been destroyed by Babe. And if that had happened then the Rage of the world would never be balanced again. Jade, in her devastating wisdom, knew that she couldn't let that happen. So the Sutherlands prepared to sacrifice themselves for the good of the world.

Babe blasted through the door.

As Kane and Kirsty entered in all their smug glory, the Sutherlands filled with Rage. Rage that they had finally won; all the Rage Deities interference had been for nothing.

Dani felt dejected. After tasting the success of the life she would've had if she had been without the stain of Kirsty and Kane, the burn of defeat was horrible.

Babe prepared to open the Whirlpool of DOOM!!! to suck the Sutherlands down into the flaming hell. But Babe couldn't do it. "Dammit!!!" Babe exclaimed.

"I think you'll find that *I* am preventing you from opening the Whirlpool. Please let me explain."

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As Irene, Sally and Flynn watched the horror of Summer Bay finally succumbing to evil, they discussed why they survived the rampage of evil. And it hit them. Finally.

"It's because we enabled the evil. We are the people who allowed the link between Kirsty and Kane to grow. We knew in our hearts it was wrong, but we didn't stop it. This is the result of that evil link," Flynn explained.

"Wow darl, you really know it all," Irene responded.

And they realised that they had to share the blame for what had happened to the Bay. Irene allowed the love to blossom between Kirsty and Kane by allowing Kane and later Kirsty to move in with her. Sally and Flynn realised that when they didn't stop the wedding, they failed to stop the legalisation of the most horrid thing Summer Bay had ever seen.

And they were truly ashamed.

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Everyone looked at Shelly after she promised to explain how she had prevented Babe from opening the Whirlpool of DOOM!!! She kept them in suspence.

Finally, she continued, "I am able to stop you opening the Whirlpool, because I created it."

Everyone was shocked. But not really. Dani and Jade were deities. It had to come from somewhere and it certainly didn't come from Rhys.

"When Kirsty and Jade were born, I knew it fulfilled the prophecy. The prophecy of DOOM!!! Kirsty was going to be the one to destroy the Rage Deities. And as you see, this very nearly came true.

"To prevent this, I knew I had to do something major. I created the Whirlpool of DOOM!!! for the Rage Deities to use. I knew there needed to be something major to prevent the end of the world as we know it," she explained.

It was amazing to hear. All the time Jade had been using the Whirlpool of DOOM!!! she had never known her mother had created it. She was never more glad that her genetics had been altered so that she had become Shelley's biological daughter.

"The most interesting thing was that the prophecy told me how to create the Whirlpool of DOOM!!! And this explanation will blow your minds. And in Kirsty's case, your half mind."

And then, Shelly explained how she created the Whirlpool of DOOM!!! and suddenly it all made sense. Rhys and Shelly had told Kirsty all her life that she had been the victim of a half-brain eating disease. This wasn't true.

The prophecy of DOOM!!! declared that Kirsty had the brain of hell. That was how she was going to be able to destroy the world as we know it. So Shelly realised that she could use Kirsty's brain for righteousness.

"I removed half of Kirsty's brain. This half of brain is the Whirlpool of DOOM!!! The Whirlpool of DOOM!!! leads to the most horrible of places - not hell, but Kirsty's half brain."

Everybody in the room shuddered at the thought. Even Kirsty.

"I see now that I have in fact enabled the end of the world as we know it to occur. But in the best way possible."

And in the final action of Kirsty's brain as the Whirlpool of DOOM!!!, Shelly sucked Babe into it. The evil link between Kirsty and Kane was gone. And all of Babe's terrible deeds were undone. Summer Bay was restored. Leah lived and loved on. The gym and school were restored. But Irene, Sally and Flynn never overcame their shame.

And now that the evil Babe was gone, a new version of the word Babe was able to form. A new version that truly reflected the goodness that the word Babe should contain.

Without the evil link between them anymore, Kane and Kirsty showed absolutely no interest in each other. They never saw each other again.

Dani, Jade and Shelly continued their lives as deities. They watched over Summer Bay and even thought terrible things still happened, no evil that matched Babe or Kane and Kirsty was ever able to enter Summer Bay again.

And finally, as the Whirlpool into Kirsty's half brain was sealed, so too was Babe. Therefore Dani never had to worry about anything again. And she lived a successful life.

But now that one Whirlpool of DOOM!!! was sealed, another needed to be opened...

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Scott and Kim finally found a meeting area for the Pissy Bitch Club. After much slapping and pinching between them, they finally decided that they should meet at Jump Rock. But when they tried to open the first official meeting of the PBC, they couldn't agree on who would be President.

"I'm pissiest," said Kim.

"Not true," Scott replied, stamping his foot.

They started to fight and fell over the edge of Jump Rock. And they were sucked into the new hell dimension. Jump Rock was the new Whirlpool of DOOM!!!

Strangely enough, no one seemed to care that they were gone. Hayley and the kind of alive Noah lived and loved on with a baby that could be Scott's or Kim's or Noah's or...

And so that was the official beginning and end of the PBC.

[Jay Preston]

So were people underwhelmed with the ending to my story? Maybe I should've left Summer Bay as a smoking pile of ruins at the end. More dramatic.

But then all the doom and gloomers would be saying, "It's all doom and gloom, you're a serial killer, it's not Summer Bay, it's Murder Bay".

Too bad the doom and gloomers aren't fictional. I'd write a story about them.

[Reenie Rocks]

I thought it was a drug induced hallucination you were having!

[Jay Preston]

How rude. No more fanfiction for anyone. And it's all Reenie Rocks' fault. Send your nasty PM's of DOOM!!! to her.